


Your Best American Boy

by suffragettecity



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: 1980s, Alternate Universe - 1980s, Alternate Universe - High School, American Politics, Ash Lynx Lives, Ash Lynx Needs A Hug, Based on Song Lyrics, Childhood Friends, Each Chapter Is a Song, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Family Issues, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Happy Ending, Healing, High School, Inspired by a Mitski Song, Language Barrier, M/M, Meet-Cute, New York City, Pining Ash Lynx, School, Shorter Wong Lives, Slow Burn, Soft Okumura Eiji, Sort Of, Soulmates, Summer, Summer Romance, Summer Vacation, Teenagers, They all live, Title from a Mitski Song, Very light smut, banana fish problems but like not as traumatizing, but still cute, eiji is more like he was in the manga, i kind of project in this one sorry, i wrote this to cope can you tell, more like medium burn, new kid eiji, no banana fish, no gangs here, so a lil shit, sounds weird when i type it out but i promise it makes sense, they all live on the same street
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:13:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 45,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28204395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suffragettecity/pseuds/suffragettecity
Summary: “What about you?” he asked.Eiji fluttered his dark eyelashes in a confused expression, “What about me?”“Do you love America?” Ash clarified. He shoved his hands in his distressed jean pockets and rocked on his heels, unsure as to why he felt compelled to ask such an invasive question so soon. However, it didn't feel forced or objected. It was as if speaking to each other felt as natural as breathing.So Eiji thought for a moment, thoroughly digesting his reply. He took a careful look around - as if the answer could be seen rather than thought up - at the neighborhood, his newfound friends, and the bright blue sky above.Finally, he landed his visual search on Ash.“I’m starting to.”
Relationships: Ash Lynx & Okumura Eiji, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji, Bones/Kong (Banana Fish), Charlie Dickenson/Nadia Wong, Max Lobo/Jessica Randy
Comments: 166
Kudos: 311





	1. Your Best American Boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You're the sun, you've never seen the night  
> But you hear its song from the morning birds  
> Well, I'm not the moon, I'm not even a star  
> But awake at night I'll be singing to the birds  
> Don't wait for me, I can't come"
> 
> ***
> 
> hello!  
> this is my first banana fish fic, but it's been bouncing around my head for a long time. i'll try to explain the story through the actual work of course, but for context the characters grew up together in the same neighborhood. it starts the summer of their senior year when eiji moves in across the street.  
> the chapters/premises will be based off of songs, so i recommend giving them a listen! maybe i'll make a playlist who knows.  
> anyway that's enough from me, enjoy!

On top of everything else, the bathroom window wouldn’t open. 

The older bright-haired boy had given the handle a few hard slaps with his palm before sighing in defeat, accepting that the damn thing refused to budge. He stood there for a couple seconds, suspended on the sill, attempting to pry it open with grabby hands before giving one final grunt. 

“Well,” He coughed, pulling his yellow cotton shirt over his nose. He hopped down from the makeshift stool in a gallop. “Guess I’ll grab a fan.”

“By my bed.” The younger of the two gruffed, voice muffled by his own improvised mask. He sat hunched over on the marble sink, fingers pressed into the cool countertop as the overbearing smell of cheap hair-dye flooded his senses. 

The older boy breezed out of the room, coughing out puffs of air that faded away in sound as he slithered around the apartment. He returned to the bathroom shortly after, clambering in with a beat up box-fan in his arms. This specific fan had supplied cool air for far too many nights - one of the three propellers had broken in half and the edges wilted with dust - but right then it seemed like the most precious object to the two teens. It was celebrated, plugged in, and soon blowing weak air onto them both. 

“Fuck, Ash.” The older boy sighed as he pulled his t-shirt down from his nose. He leaned up against the wall opposite the sink, bright hair ruffled by the breeze. “This better be worth it.”

Between the stinging smell of hair-dye and the bathrooms lack of openable windows, so far this venture had taken more effort than expected. “It’s not my fault you don’t know how to use bleach, Shorter.” 

“And it’s not my fault you wanted highlights, prick.” The purple haired teen received a kick to the shin for that. As he dodged another, he ducked down to pick up the discarded bleach-dye box that lay in the trash. He inspected it with a squint. “We probably should’ve read directions, though. Is that normal?” 

“Is _what _normal?” Ash asked, voice tipping into an anxious growl. He turned his head to glance at the compatible mirror that lay cracked on its side before he caught the bluffed joke. “Get fucked.”__

__Shorter laughed, an easy sound, before checking his watch. “Nah, you’ll be fine. You’re hair’s already blonde as shit so it’ll only take, like, thirty minutes.”_ _

__Ash nodded. “It’s supposed to sting, right?”_ _

__“Itch or sting?”_ _

__“Itch, I guess.”_ _

__“Yes, calm down, it’s hair.”_ _

__“That’s rich coming from you.” Ash grumbled, knocking his feet against the sink cabinet in boredom._ _

__The fan whirred patiently as the sounds of the city’s summer seeped in from the un-openable window. Cars could be heard screeching their commute, and somewhere in the distance an icecream truck ignited cries from the neighborhood kids. The silence weighed in comfort before Shorter conversed once more._ _

__“There’s gonna be a new kid down the block.” He said casually. “Asian.”_ _

__Ash perked his head up. “Where’d you hear that from?”_ _

__“Nadia’s pig boyfriend.” His nose crinkled slightly in disapproval at the mention of Charlie the cop. “Apparently he knows the kid’s guardian - or whatever. They’re moving in next door tomorrow.”_ _

__“Chinese?” Ash asked in curiosity. There hadn’t been a new face on this street in years, the last time being Ash himself, and he had only been a child then. He wanted to know what to expect._ _

__“Hm-m. Japanese, I think.” He smiled. “Looks like we’re getting the entire world in our neighborhood, eh? You’re outnumbered, white boy.”_ _

__Ash chuckled and reached up to scratch his head, hand stopping midway in remembrance of the bleach. He dropped it back down with a grunt. “This blows. How much longer?”_ _

__“Chill, why don’t you? Enjoy the process.” Shorter picked himself off the wall as another melodic ice-cream truck tune blared outside. “I’m gonna get us something. Popsicle?”_ _

__“Cherry.”_ _

__“Yes, your highness.”_ _

__“Shove off.”_ _

__“M-kay.”_ _

__Ash leaned back against the tile wall and sighed. A new kid, huh?_ _

__If Ash thought hard, he could remember a time when he stood only four foot one in his toddler shoes, gaze much shorter than it was now as he looked down the street for the first time. He smiled fondly at the memories of kids running down to meet him - Shorter leading - all bruised and scraped and wild from a day’s worth of play. Now that Ash mentioned it, things wouldn't be so different for the new kids' first impression of this neighborhood. Cracks still creeped up buildings, cigarettes still littered storm drains, and youth still ran rampant in their play. He just hoped, strangely, that the kid could keep up._ _

__When the screen door slapped shut, closing off the sounds of the parked ice cream truck, Shorter called in one final tease. “Hey, did you ever get Max’s permission to do this?”_ _

__

__

__****_ _

__

__

__“I like the hair, princess.” Max held a smug expression, peering over a steaming coffee cup._ _

__“At least mine isn’t receding.” Ash responded just as cooly as he rummaged around the pantry. He pulled out a box of poptarts and added a final blow for good measure. “Old man.”_ _

__Max groaned in expectancy. It wasn’t really receding, was it? “And why are you up so early?”_ _

__The morning sun was streaming in from the kitchen windows, a blue sky that only promised to get brighter hidden beneath the translucent curtains. Usually, Max enjoyed this time by himself, paper in one hand and coffee in the other as he sat upon the kitchen table. He relished these mornings, basking in the peace and quiet before the sounds of the screen-door slamming alerted the start of another adolescent summer day. It was far too early to be bombarded by a teen._ _

__“New kid moving in.” Ash muttered as he pulled the silver wrapping off with his teeth. “Shorter and I wanted to see him through.”_ _

__“Ah, that’s right.” By now the entire neighborhood had eyes on the bright red ‘sold’ sign. “Just don’t go scaring him off, yeah?”_ _

__“Scaring who off?” Shorter’s voice called from an open door. He entered the sunlit kitchen as the screen slammed shut, alerting a bitter Max that the day had started early. “‘Sup, Max.”_ _

__“‘Sup.” Max mumbled back sarcastically, flipping his paper to make a show of it._ _

__“New kid.” Ash explained, offering Shorter the other poptart that rested in the foil._ _

__Shorter sank into it immediately, mouth full as he spoke. “Nah, you don’t have to worry. Plus, Ash looks all cool now with his new hair. Glad we did it yesterday, it’ll be a great first impression.”_ _

__“There’s barely any difference.” Ash sneered through his own full bite. “You did a shitty job.”_ _

__“There are a few lighter pieces!” Shorter protested before receiving a light flick to his ear._ _

__“Boys,” A shrill voice called from the bottom of the stairs. There, Jessica now stood, her stylish robe and low ponytail showing an obvious sign of morning. She entered the kitchen passively. “You know the rules.”_ _

__“Sorry, Jessica.” Shorter shrugged. Ash continued to chew on his pastry, unfazed by maternal scolding._ _

__“Quarrels are taken outside.” She continued, bending down to kiss Max good morning._ _

__“Wish you two would follow that rule.” Ash mocked._ _

__“And I wish you would tell me the name of that bleach brand.” Jessica smiled, turning back around to pour her own cup of coffee. “The girls at work would love it.”_ _

__Shorter stifled a laugh as Ash pushed him forwards, annoyed. “Let’s go. Old women make me sick.”_ _

__“Please don’t be mean to him, guys!” Max called as the door creaked open. A mocking sound was made from the pair before they leapt outside the house. The man exhaled another grumbling sigh at the sound of youth._ _

__“They go back to school soon.” Jessica eased comfortably as the morning returned to a quiet pace. “And don’t worry about them, Max. They’re good kids.”_ _

__“Good smart-ass kids.”_ _

__

__

__Ash’s converse hit the sidewalk with a smack as he jumped over the final two steps. Shorter walked down the stairs with eyebrows drawn in his direction. “Someone’s excited.”_ _

__Ash hummed in response and finished off his breakfast, crumbs dripping onto the pavement as the two fell into step. Around them, the few little kids and older seniors that lived on the block scrambled out of their own houses, early days common for their rested heads. A mailman in his already sweat stained uniform passed them hurriedly, rustling his envelopes in inspection. A dog barked in the distance._ _

__Ash, due to his sleepy grudge, never liked these types of domestic mornings. But today felt different._ _

__“Ah-! Ash, Shorter!” A familiar voice called. Two houses down, Sing bounded from his own steps and raced over._ _

__“Were you waiting for us, half-pint?”_ _

__“The truck’s already there!” He smiled, ignoring the tease with a few stolen breaths as he stopped in front of the older boys. Ash looked up and to his surprise, a small orange and white truck was parked on the other end of the large street - right beside the Wong house._ _

__“Why didn’t you say anything?” Ash accused, fixing his gaze onto Shorter who looked equally as surprised._ _

__“It wasn’t there five minutes ago!”_ _

__“C’mon, everyone’s watching outside Kong’s.” Sing called from over his shoulder, already running back._ _

__When the trio approached Kong’s brick two-story, a loud clattering could be heard from the moving men. The majority of the gang was all there - Kong, Bones, Alex - the rest assumed to still be fast asleep in disinterest. The three present boys all lived in the same apartment complex, the one for which they now waited upon the steps of. Their eyes were fixated across the street._ _

__“Hey-o.” Shorter waved, sitting down besides Alex and a bustling Sing on the bottom steps. Ash continued to stand._ _

__“They just got in!” Bones explained, energy already unmatched despite the early morning. “We saw the old man, but not the kid. Yet.”_ _

__“He wasn’t that old.” Alex commented, taking a sip from a steamy styrofoam cup he obtained from the cafe two streets over. He’d always been a morning person. “Don’t you guys think we’re gonna scare ‘em off? A bunch of dirty kids watching from across the street?”_ _

__

__“It’s our American welcome, man.” Kong yawned. “Hey, give me a sip of that.”_ _

__“Piss off- you didn’t pay for it.”_ _

__“Neither did you! Everyone knows the barista has the hots for you. Free coffee and shit.”_ _

__“Poor girl.” Shorter murmured._ _

__“Guys.” Ash barked, eyes glued to the truck as the white passenger door swung open grandly. Everyone followed his gaze and watched with poised attention._ _

__Two legs swung out with brown shoes and khakis attached. Soon, the rest of the body bounded out of the tall vehicle - a red pullover, black hair, tan skin - all visible in digested detail. The boy’s face was turned from view as his arms reached up in a grand stretch, an audible yawn reaching the ears of the curious group._ _

__A deep man’s voice called from the inside of the house - words inaudible for both their dialect and distance. The boy yelled something back, voice higher and clearer than the other’s as he spoke in his native tongue._ _

__“Yup, Japanese.” Shorter nodded in confirmation._ _

__“Sweet. Another country ticked off the list of our misfit neighborhood.” Alex sighed._ _

__“You sound optimistic, cracker.”_ _

__The laughs from the joke bounded across the street, and the mysterious boy turned towards the joyous sound._ _

__Ash, who had stayed silent, was the first to meet his eyes._ _

__It felt strange to say that he never wanted to look away._ _

__Despite the little information Shorter had, the Japanese boy looked younger than mentally pictured. His face was slightly eagar and small, and he addressed the group’s stares with a hesitant wave. He didn’t look scared at the realization that he had been watched by strangers - just a little shy._ _

__The group all waved back, their excitement in interacting with a new neighbor showing on their bright faces. The boy’s hesitance eased into a grin and he waved more confidently, his dark eyes squinting into a welcoming expression. Ash felt a strange flip in his demeanor and he, too, found himself smiling._ _

__The man the others referred to as “old” now appeared at the front door, looking down at the commotion from the top of the stairs. His gaze traced the pointed wave from his companion over to the teenagers on the steps, and his face grew stressed. “Hello! Sorry about the noise!”_ _

__A collective mix of “hello’s” and “no problems” escaped the six boys in response. A few other neighbors - some gardening or enjoying a morning smoke - watched this interaction carefully and even gave their own calls. The man on the stairs bowed to the growing audience and then diverted his attention back down, speaking out in Japanese._ _

__The new kid nodded and gave his own quick bow before turning to the stairs, climbing up with a slight jog. He disappeared inside the house just as suddenly as he appeared outside the truck._ _

__“He seems chipper.” Bones smiled. “Fun.”_ _

__Ash, who had been passively quiet, dusted a peculiar emotion off his shoulders with a shrug. “He looks like he could be Sing’s classmate. You sure he’s our age, Shorter?”_ _

__“Our age!?” Everyone else exclaimed. Shorter groaned._ _

__“Yes - I’m sure. Dipshits.” Shorter shook his head. “Asian countries have different standards.”_ _

__“Obviously.” Kong smirked and looked down. “That’s why Sing looks like a kindergartener.”_ _

__“Hey - at least I passed kindergarten!”_ _

__As the two went back and forth, grabbing the interest of the others in their quarrel, Ash felt that dark pair of eyes strike his head. He turned back towards the house and saw him - the new kid with a young face - watching from behind the translucent tint of the house’s many windows. Ash stared for a minute before acknowledging him with a weak smile that was immediately returned with enthusiasm. The darker haired boy flashed another grin before the window’s curtains were drawn by an invisible hand._ _

__This small exchange, cut short by an outside force, grew Ash’s interest with a pang. He felt himself become hot, a huff of air and curiousness wrapping around his lungs._ _

__This was summer after all._ _

__

__

__****_ _

__

__

__“Christ, how much shit do they have?” Shorter huffed, cardboard box held tightly to his chest._ _

__The morning had been a painfully long one, growing in exhaustion and heat. When Max and a few other dads of the neighborhood came by to introduce themselves to - what they had learned - Ibe, their expressions grew shocked at the realization that the movers had only been hired for the delivery. And in a gesture so neighborly it made the teens groan, they had offered the strength of their sons to carry up the load._ _

__Ash trailed behind a heaving Shorter, his own heavy box flexing his forearms. They stumbled into the open door and stopped in front of Ibe and Max - who were busy chatting away about mundane things like traveling overseas and ticket costs. Most of the stuff had been labeled in Japanese, so they flashed the boxes at the two men to be told where to go._ _

__“Kitchen, thanks.” Ibe gestured to Shorter who continued his journey inwards. He then turned towards Ash. “Ah - Eiji’s books.”_ _

__Ash nodded. Eiji._ _

__With two teens down - Sing had been called home only twenty minutes into their moving adventure while Alex slipped away at the first chance - it left only Bones, Kong, Shorter and Ash to help. But Bones and Kong, however pleasant, got distracted at the unpackaging of delicate Japanese houseware and remained transfixed on the floor in a useless heap. Ash gave them both a swift kick as he crept past them._ _

__Despite the lack of movers, the entire neighborhood had made an effort to stop by with their own welcome gifts. Pastries and cakes and cultural foods all sprinkled across the kitchen island in a collective feast. Even Nadia and Charlie stopped by, their welcome’s a little more personal as they gave lemonade to the tired boys. It was sickly wholesome._ _

__But the house’s layout was easy enough to navigate; an open concept kitchen that overlooked the living room, a staircase in the corner that led to two bathrooms and two bedrooms, and linen closets in random corners. Infact, due to the time it was built, the house resembled an empty version of the Wong’s own fort. So, using context clues, Ash discovered that Eiji’s bedroom was upstairs and to the left._ _

__“Hey.” Ash called as he stopped in the doorframe._ _

__Eiji turned with a polite expression, a bundle of clothes that he had extracted from a particularly large box heavy in his arms. Unsure if it was alright to continue on inside, Ash lifted the box’s Japanese inscriptions towards him with a heave._ _

__“Ah.” He nodded, pointed to a bookshelf in the corner, and spoke with a heavy accent. “Thank you.”_ _

__“Yeah yeah.” Ash groaned, shuffling across the room. He carefully dropped the box with a sigh and ran a few fingers in his sweat dappled hair. “You want me to unpack them?”_ _

__Eiji blinked._ _

__“Unpack?” Ash asked again._ _

__Eiji gave a sheepish smile and shrugged, eyes tinted with apology._ _

__“Oh. Uh-m…” Ash had been told by an explainitive Ibe that unlike himself, Eiji wasn’t fluid in English just yet. Ash tried to remember what it had been like to first converse with Shorter so many years ago. He made a motion with his hands that connected the box to the bookshelf. “Unpack?”_ _

__“Ah! No.” Eiji chuckled then, a pleasant little sound. “I do it.”_ _

__“Alrighty, you do it.” Ash repeated with a stretch of his overused muscles. He looked around curiously to the empty blue walls and littered boxes, and as if his gaze reminded the other boy of something, Eiji made a sudden exclamative sound and gestured to a particular box._ _

__“Unpack?” Eiji asked, unsure if he was using the new word correctly. Ash drew nearer and peered to where he was pointing. It was a small half opened box that overflowed with rolled up posters and pictures._ _

__“Unpack these?” Ash asked._ _

__Eiji shook his head and struggled for the correct word. “How do I _unpack _… onto walls?” He laughed nervously. “Ha, uh… stick?”___ _

____Ash whooed and nodded in understanding. “Tape?”_ _ _ _

____“Yes! Where’s the tape?”_ _ _ _

____Ash found himself smiling at the sudden burst of energy. Despite the language barrier, Eiji’s personality shown through every word spectacularly well. He held up a hand to call for a moment and retreated back downstairs._ _ _ _

____“Hey, Mr. Shunichi?”_ _ _ _

____Everyone in the room turned their attention towards Ash who had paused on the last step. Ibe turned._ _ _ _

____“Eiji needs tape.” Ash explained, shifting slightly from all the pointed gazes. Even Shorter, who had only just walked back into the house with another kitchen labeled box, seemed taken aback by Ash’s demeanor. A smug look began to grow beneath those sunglasses._ _ _ _

____“Wall tape or boxing tape?” Ibe asked as he made his way across the room, seemingly being the only one unfazed by the entire ordeal._ _ _ _

____“Wall.” Ash said, a slight suspicion edging his voice as he shot Shorter a furrowed brow. “What?”_ _ _ _

____“Nothing.” Shorter smirked as he continued on towards the kitchen. His voice dropped into a sly murmur as he breezed passed. “You’re blushing.”_ _ _ _

____“Here.” Ibe said, handing a now wide-eyed Ash a roll of scotch adhesive._ _ _ _

____The blonde mumbled an impolite ‘thanks’ as annoyance slipped into his nerves. He thought it must have been the heat, but now his flushed face felt far too pink for just a sign of heavy lifting. He gave Shorter a burning glare before turning back up the stairs, ignoring Max’s explanative sigh: “Kids.”_ _ _ _

____Ash didn’t even bother to linger in the doorway before chucking the tape into the room. Eiji let out a cry of surprise as he managed to fumble the catch._ _ _ _

____“Thank you!-?” He managed, tone just as grateful as it was confused._ _ _ _

____Ash grumbled and turned back around, painfully aware - thanks to Shorter's audacity - of his warm cheeks. He started his way back down to continue to help with boxes before Eiji called. The blonde sighed and stepped back. “What?”_ _ _ _

____Eiji was standing there with an urgent expression. Throughout the day, he had been made painfully aware of the American heat - his temple slightly sweaty and his pullover sleeves pushed up to his elbows. Despite his overworked attire, he suddenly bowed with such force that Ash was sure he was going to sprain something._ _ _ _

____He sprang back up. “Nice to meet you!”_ _ _ _

____Ash blinked. Eiji placed a hand over his chest._ _ _ _

____“I am Eiji.” He said with as much confidence as an actor who had studied lines. An easy grin spread across his face in a pleased expression. “Eiji Okumara.”_ _ _ _

____Ash remained still, struggling to understand the clambering in his chest. He found himself easing into the atmosphere with a small quirk of his lips. “Hello, Eiji.”_ _ _ _

____Eiji raised his eyebrows and smiled wider, a look of expectancy painted on his tan face. It took Ash a moment to realize what he was silently asking._ _ _ _

____“Ash.” He introduced, hand pressed to his chest in a mimicked position. “Ash Callenreese.”_ _ _ _

____Eiji’s dark eyes sparkled with acknowledgment. His accent now dripped off his words lavishly, different to its prior choppiness of introduction; he seemed to purr. “Nice to meet you, Ash.”_ _ _ _

____“Nice to meet you, Eiji.”_ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so shorter bleaching ash's hair was originally written for a one-shot post, but i loved the concept so much i added it in lmao. i write best through dialogue can you tell.  
> also, ash isn't max's son in this. i'll explain it better later but just thought i should clear that up.
> 
> stay safe and stay loved<3
> 
> p.s just realized this was posted on ash's library nap date. wake that boy up


	2. American Tradition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The way you'd play with me like a child"
> 
> ****

As suns and thermometers littered the weather clippings of newspapers, lines wrapped around ice venders, and window-units remained in a constant cool buzz, New York City kept its promise of yet another record breaking summer. The expected “sidewalk-fried-egg” joke ran rampant through the air as the youth of the city tested the limits of public nudity in an attempt to stay cool.

“Put a shirt on.” Ash grumbled as Shorter emerged from his house with a bare chest and two cool cans of pop in his hands. 

“Look who’s all hot and bothered.” Shorter teased, his voice lacking its normal conviction as he struggled to fight against the exhausting heat. He pressed one can to the back of his neck, sighed, and handed the other to a grateful Ash.

The two lay on the Wong’s front steps, sporting bare skin and bare feet as they lounged. It was mid-day, and by now every window and door of the beaten neighborhood was pulled open. The elderly remained in one of the east apartments that was known for a powerful AC, while the kids ran up and down the sizzling sidewalk with chalk or icy’s in their fists. 

“I think we’re getting old.” Ash noted, debility gnawing at his brain as he watched a group of girls skip rope. The thought of playing like he once did made him lean back farther onto the steps.

Shorter chuckled out a sigh. “Probably.”

“Hey boys.” A voice from behind them chirped. They craned their necks to see Nadia leaving the house with a purse slung over her bare shoulder. 

“You goin’ to the restaurant?” Shorter asked as she walked forwards, her blue flip-flops slapping in a slow rhythm. 

“Yeah.” She plucked Shorter’s unopened can from his hand, popped it open, and dodged his half-assed attempt to grab it back with a nudge. “Charlie’s out, so if you guys leave make sure you lock up, yeah?”

“No one’s gonna break in.” Shorter protested before eyeing Ash’s own can. Ash scooted away.

She grumbled an insult in Chinese that ignited a huff from her brother. “Ash, can you watch over him?”

“Always do.”

“Thanks. Also,” She ran a few fingers through the blonde ends. “Let me do your hair next time.”

Shorter groaned once more and let his head fall back in defeat, sunglasses catching the sky’s rays with a beam. Nadia ignored a string of colorful mutters as she pressed the stolen can to her lips.

“Oh - speaking of watching over,” She said offhandedly, swallowing the last of the cool drink. “You guys being nice to Eiji?” 

Shorter perked his head back up and eyed Ash, who was now distracted by a game of kiddie hopscotch beneath them. “I think Ash has been watching very carefully.”

“He’s being dramatic. But no,” Ash explained as Nadia shot a raised eyebrow in his direction. “We haven’t seen him since the move.”

“Well, go over.” She scolded. Her legs bounced up and down groggily as she descended down the steps. “That was nearly three days ago and the poor kids all cooped up. Be neighborly!” 

“You call that outfit neighborly?” Shorter called. Nadia reached the sidewalk and punched out a fist - telling him where to go before starting off to work.

“She’s right, though.” Shorter said after a couple minutes of silence. Ash, who was wrapped up in that hopscotch game that had taken a more violent turn, only hummed in response as Shorter continued. “He could have air conditioning.”

At first he had only been teasing, but the more the two thought about that prospect the more that question became in dire need of an answer. Ash sloshed a final sip before sitting up. “Put a shirt on.”

Shorter returned with both of their shoes in his hands and a loose jersey on his back. Ash was wearing his usual white top - not as revealing as a completely bare chest- but he still felt a little underdressed as the two made their way next door. He shook that feeling off as they climbed those freshly painted steps.

The red door of the new Japanese neighbors was propped open, leaving nothing but a dark screen to separate the outside from the newly packed inside. Shorter squinted against the shadows, commenting on how quickly they seemed to get settled in. He was right of course; beneath the barely visible partition was a house that looked lived in. 

Ash scanned the wooden frame for a doorbell and rang it lightly, a small chime igniting from inside the house. His attention turned back to the door as the shuffling of footsteps grew nearer.

Eiji appeared as a shadow at first, stark against the darkness of the unlit house. He made a sound of acknowledgment and quickened his pace, stopping at the front door with a visible smile. 

“Hello!” He said, pulling back the lock and opening the door. “Come in.”

He was wearing a black tank and dark jeans, revealing a body already naturally tan. It seemed that despite the blast of cool air coming from inside - they did have an AC - his wardrobe was already accustomed to the new environment and UV index. Ash felt a little ridiculous of his previous thoughts of dress, timidness replaced with usual confidence as he held open the door and walked in. 

“Hey white boy,” Shorter murmured, shuffling out of his kicks. He nodded to a pile of shoes by the doorway. “Take ‘em off.”

“Sorry - it’s still messy in here.” Eiji chuckled as he made his way into the kitchen, stepping over discarded boxes ruefully. “Anything to drink?”

“You got any pop?” Shorter called back, letting Ash use his arm as a post to undo the converse laces. 

A fridge opened. “No-o, but we have tea?” 

“Cold?”

“Of course.”

“Perfect!” 

Ash sighed quietly as his second shoe clunked to the ground, a mental reminder beaming in his head to just wear slip-ons next time. Next time.

“Ash?” Eiji called, pronunciation arguably better than their first greeting, but still awfully similar to a sneeze. Shorter gave his friend a knowing look as if to say ‘You already introduced yourself?’

“Tea’s fine, thanks.” Ash shot him a look of his own and headed further inside. Shorter trailed behind until they found the kitchen. 

“You get this from Maruichi’s?” Shorter asked, inspecting the cool green bottle that was handed to him by an eager Eiji. It had Japanese symbols all over the label, assumingly purchased at the Asian market downtown. 

“Uh-huh. We went yesterday.” Eiji explained, handing Ash his own drink with a small smile. “Selection’s poor, but…”

“Try the one on eighth. Much better.” Shorter offered, remembering his own cultural struggle whenever he first arrived in the city. A look of gratitude flushed over Eiji’s face before being wiped away completely. 

“Ah! Sorry,” Eiji bowed in introduction. “I’m Eiji Okumara.”

“Shorter Wong.”

The three boy’s chatted easily, Ash standing silently impressed at Eiji’s conversation skills. His words were already stringing together nicely, proving a deep devotion to this new American home. When asked why he was alone today, Eiji explained how Ibe - or Ibe-san - had gone to the nearby university to pick up his credentials. He was the new professor of journalism, if Eiji remembered correctly, and he had been seemingly stressed about the whole thing. 

Ash bit back the obvious question as to why they had different last names, and instead poised with a little too much nonchalance: “Has he enrolled you in school yet?”

“Yes,” He gave the name of the school. “Is that where you go?”

Ash gave a slightly coy and thankful nod. “Shorter too.”

Eiji smiled wide in relief. “Ah, friends then?”

“Friends.” Ash confirmed, acutely aware of Shorter’s own smirk. He took another sip of tea as the conversation fell into a natural conclusion.

But beneath the budding silence, a loud clamber of metal could be heard, seeping in from the street outside in an anxiety producing shrill. It started slow and rhythmically, then ramped up at a frantic speed, causing the three boys to turn curiously. A couple of childish cries rang out by the time Ash spun his way towards the door, Shorter and Eiji at his heels.

Outside, the group of kids that had only just been seen judding hopscotch, all huddled around a red fire hydrant. A small boy, the cause of this commotion, stood on top of the public property and beat upon it with a clutched wrench. 

“Skipper! Get down!” Ash scolded with a groan, slipping on his shoes as that anxious feeling of trouble fizzled away. Shorter fidgeted a laugh as Eiji shot them both a confused look.

“What are they doing?” He asked.

“They’re trying to get the water out from that red thing.” Shorter explained. “It’s illegal.”

“It’s dangerous.” Ash corrected before calling out once more. “Skipper - I’m serious!”

The children either laughed or sighed disappointingly at the older boy’s presence. One was brave enough to bring insults into it and Ash grumbled as he tightened his laces.

“Ah.” Eiji hadn’t been outside at all today, and the barrelling heat hit him with a wave of understanding for the childish game. He shrugged. “It looks fun, though.” 

Shorter and Ash flashed him a look so intense that Eiji felt compelled to step back. Their expressions weren’t out of anger or offense - just an easy surprise - as if Eiji had said something they didn’t allow themselves to think. They all stood like that for a beat before Shorter grinned. 

“Shorter,” Ash warned weakly, fighting back his own smile. “You remember what happened last time?”

“But Charlie _is _out...” Shorter thought. He turned towards Ash in a justified pose. “And it’s the hottest day of the year.”__

__Ash thought for a moment, adult-like discipline riding off his shoulders. He looked towards Eiji as if those dark eyes held enough conviction. “Fun, huh?”_ _

__Eiji smiled in the realization that his presence was all they needed. “Fun.”_ _

__“Get the wrench, Shorter.”_ _

__The children all watched with eager faces and joyous cries as Shorter bounded down the steps, instructing Skipper to get down and hand him the tool._ _

__“Is it really dangerous?” Eiji asked, following Ash down the stairs._ _

__“Depends on the water pressure.” The blonde explained, reaching down for the hem of his white shirt. “But we won’t make it too hard.”_ _

__With a swift pull, he discarded his shirt and last remaining hesitance into the summer air. Eiji made a point of looking away at this nakedness while the others weren’t so respectful - their wolf whistles growing louder as Ash trotted over. He rustled Skipper’s hair before reaching down to help a struggling Shorter with the nozzle._ _

__After a few unsuccessful tugs, he flipped his hair and called for Eiji._ _

__Eiji ran up and wrapped his hands around the metal wrench, bursting with combined effort as the nozzle popped open. Water began to pool out the bright red opening, and with it grew an excited cheer from the surrounding crowd. Even a few neighbors - who have seen their share of this illegal but celebrated act - walked down their own steps to participate. Shorter made a comment about Eiji’s strength before Ash motioned to the dials._ _

__“Everyone back!” He called, voice parting the group like a sea until only Shorter and Eiji remained by his side. He looked over at the Japanese boy and explained hastily. “The more we push to the left, the more water shoots out. Got it?”_ _

__Eiji nodded in understanding, a curious smile pricking his lips. “How do you know how to do this?”_ _

__“Practice.” Ash winked with a push._ _

__The trio all wrapped their hands around the wrench and thrusted left, igniting a sound only describable to fireworks. With it, a makeshift waterfall bursted out of the red hydrant and onto the steaming hot road below. It’s powerful arch seemed to rain down like a storm._ _

__Another summer tradition completed with a cheer._ _

__“Might’ve been a little eager.” Shorter yelled over the rush of the water. He pushed his glasses back with a grin._ _

__Ash stepped back and gazed proudly at the makeshift pool. The cool air emitted from the city’s public water stirred up a lovely breeze that rustled his hair behind his ears, and he was slightly impressed with himself - when they had been younger it had taken the entire gang to get those hatches open. Now it was easier with Eiji. He turned._ _

__Eiji was staring up at the water with a gawked expression. He’d never seen anything like this. A sudden gasp left his lips as a rainbow appeared in the water’s peak, and he pointed it out with a pleasant sound. Ash followed his line of sight._ _

__“What’s the english?” Eiji cried, voice muffled by the sounds of water and squealing kids. He looked to Ash, eyes crackling and curious. “虹? _Ni-ji _?”___ _

____“Oh, rainbow?” Ash replied. Eiji beamed at the meaning._ _ _ _

____“Rainbow! What a pretty word!” He laughed, looking it over once again. “Rainbow.”_ _ _ _

____Shorter had slipped away when the two began exchanging nouns, his jersey already stripped off. He had started to use the cloth as a weapon to whip at Bones and Kong - who had exited their own houses at the sudden commotion. They all sprinted around beneath the water-pipe rain in a game of chicken, cursing loudly as more older boys joined their race. Ash figured that his friends must all be wrapped up in their own childhood memories - for the smile they all sported were ones of youthful giddiness._ _ _ _

____Some parents came out and supervised from a safe distance, either holding up wide-eyed babies to peacefully observe or to call out warnings to their rowdy children. There was a significant puddle spreading out across the black asphalt, leaving a few timid kids that were too scared of the roaring water to splash around the shallow outskirts. Ash and Eiji made their way over to said pool with pleased expressions._ _ _ _

____“Hey Micheal.” Ash cooed, stopping by a little boy who had both hands and feet in the cool water. The boy looked up and grinned._ _ _ _

____“Ash!” He exclaimed as he was scooped up, a trail of white splashes dripping beneath his feet. Eiji watched curiously._ _ _ _

____“Why aren’t you over there, eh?” Ash asked in a mock-gruff tone. He dipped a now squealing Micheal and shook him around in his bare arms. “Missing out on all the fun?”_ _ _ _

____Micheal giggled as he hung upside down, flashing a new gap in his smile - quarters had started to appear under his pillow the more he grew. “Daddy said n-not too last time.”_ _ _ _

____“You follow all of his rules?” Ash gave one final shake before hauling him upright._ _ _ _

____“Yes.”_ _ _ _

____“Well I say it’s fine.” Ash proclaimed with authority, setting the small boy to the ground with a heave. “And you like me more, anyway.”_ _ _ _

____Micheal considered this with a cheeky grin. “Daddy’s gonna be mad at you!” He warned before running off. Clearly he’d been thoroughly convinced._ _ _ _

____“Brother?” Eiji asked as Ash chuckled to himself. The blonde shook his head._ _ _ _

____“No, but...” Micheal’s laugh echoed into their ears. “Might as well be. You got any?”_ _ _ _

____“I have a kid sister.” Eiji said fondly as he too watched the children dance beneath the stream. Ash looked over._ _ _ _

____“She in Japan?”_ _ _ _

____“She is with my parents, yes.” Eiji confirmed, expression growing bittersweet under her mention. He added more quietly. “She would have loved America.”_ _ _ _

____Ash hummed and Eiji met his gaze._ _ _ _

____The rest of the world grew quiet._ _ _ _

____When they had first met, Eiji’s eyes appeared deep and nearly picturesquely black - similar to the hair upon his head. But outside, with the sun catching faint etches of his pupils, Ash realized that they were truly a honey brown. Eiji seemed to be making his own observations about Ash’s eyes as well, and to be honest it looked as if he’d never seen that bright green color on someone’s face. It was a tender expression that made Ash turn in embarrassment._ _ _ _

____“What about you?” He flushed._ _ _ _

____Eiji fluttered the eyelashes that Ash had just marveled at in a confused expression. “What about me?”_ _ _ _

____“Do you love America?” He shoved his hands in his distressed jean pockets and rocked on his heels. He wasn’t sure as to why he was asking such an invasive question so soon. It was strange to be so trusting in a person he hardly knew._ _ _ _

____But Eiji thought for a moment, thoroughly digesting this question. His thoughts were tripped up as he opened his mouth before closing it once more - whatever initial reply he had wasn’t enough. He took a careful look around - as if the answer could be seen rather than thought up - at the crowds and the houses and the bright blue sky. Finally, he landed his visual search on Ash._ _ _ _

____“I’m starting too.”_ _ _ _

____“‘Sup!” A wet and invasive arm wrapped around Ash's neck with a sudden tug. A surprised shout of distress leapt from the boy's throat as Shorter dragged him forwards. “What are you guys talking about?”_ _ _ _

____Ash gave a jutting elbow to his friend’s tanner stomach. “Piss off.”_ _ _ _

____Shorter eased up and stepped back, hands held out in a defensive position of surrender. “Alright-y.” He laughed wickedly before turning to Eiji, gaze hidden by droplet covered shades._ _ _ _

____Ash swiped a hand across his nape in an attempt to rid himself of the water as Shorter sauntered over to Eiji. He rested an arm around his shoulder, commenting on Ash’s poor manners with a grin. He shook his grip and asked for an opinion._ _ _ _

____“He’s not so bad.” Eiji smiled shyly, trying not to offend either Ash nor Shorter with his reaction. Shorter shook his head and sighed._ _ _ _

____“Oh, poor Eiji.” He proclaimed dramatically. He flashed Ash a commutative and mischievous look. “He doesn’t know how bad you are.”_ _ _ _

____“He doesn’t, does he.” Ash caught on. As much as Eiji’s instinctual kindness chipped at his heart, Shorter’s raised eyebrow and quirked smile called for the start of a prank. And besides, Eiji was going to find out sooner or later that this neighborhood wasn’t all smiles and polite conversation. “Guess he better learn.”_ _ _ _

____“Time for initiation.” Shorter confirmed, tightening his grip on a nervous Eiji. Ash took a step towards them both._ _ _ _

____“Initi - _ah! _” With a sudden and swift yank, Eiji’s voice caught on a gasp as he dangled in Shorter’s arms. Before he could even register his position, Ash had picked up his legs and carried him towards the spewing fountain. “What are you - !?”___ _ _ _

______“Just an American welcome!” Ash called, hands tightening around denim fabric as Eiji now lay across his shoulders. Shorter chuckled from behind._ _ _ _ _ _

______Realization struck Eiji as they neared the hydrant. His cries turned the heads of the nearby crowd, and soon a few kids had run over to help settle the squirming boy. He laughed and squealed and thrashed in sentences no one understood - all of his english seemingly forgotten in this moment of shock. Soon enough, Ash ran into the mercy of the falling water with a triumphant laugh of his own._ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji was soaked in seconds. The crowd cheered enthusiastically._ _ _ _ _ _

______The longer he was held there, Eiji found himself melting into this “initiation”. He let his head be thrown back and his grip tighten around his new friend - a joyous sound erupting from the pit of his stomach as all struggling washed away with the hydrant’s flare. Ash watched this all through the haze of mist, completely transfixed by the smiling boy in his arms. Watching him felt as natural and easy as breathing._ _ _ _ _ _

______Neither of them were scared._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Ash! Put him down!” A familiar bark sounded. Max’s parental gruff had bursted the happy water soaked bubble the two had shared, and only then did Ash realize how close they were. With the notion that the entire street had experienced this moment as well, he pulled them both into the safety of the dry clearing._ _ _ _ _ _

______Claps of success echoed off the buildings as Eiji was put down onto the sidewalk, the rowdy children finding solace in the new kid’s participation. But the happy atmosphere was tainted with Max’s appearance, despite the fact that he had gotten too distracted to scold Ash when Micheal stepped into his line of sight._ _ _ _ _ _

______As much as this had all been Ash’s trick to get Eiji wet, the two were now staring at each other with equally soaked grins. Their chests heaved from the sudden excitement as water pooled at their feet._ _ _ _ _ _

______“What did you call me?” Ash breathed as he swiped a hand through his dripping hair._ _ _ _ _ _

______“What?” Eiji was still fighting off chuckles. His prominent dimples caught their own pools beneath his aching cheeks._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You were speaking Japanese,” Ash remembered, smirking at the fading feeling of Eiji squirming in his grasp. “And it didn’t sound nice.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______That flicker of mischievousness - the one Shorter always sported - appeared in those dark eyes as he grinned. He held Ash’s gaze with passion. “I called you an asshole.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Eiji-san!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______The bubble finally bursted this time._ _ _ _ _ _

______Heads all swiveled to Ibe as he approached the ruckus - eyebrows furrowed so deep it seemed to crack his forehead. Ash turned to find Eiji already running in his direction, muttering Japanese explanations of his attire and the state of the street. But as he grew nearer to the older man, his pace slowed and his head bowed as punishment became unavoidable._ _ _ _ _ _

______Ash took a step forward to take the blame before a firm hand yanked him back._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I told you,” Max growled as the distant sound of foreign scolding became clearer. “Leave him alone.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______****_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______“Sorry, Charlie.” Two voices that lacked sincerity said in unison._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Like you mean it.” Max growled from the doorway, arms firmly crossed over his chest in that parental pose._ _ _ _ _ _

______Shorter groaned. Nadia flicked his ear._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Sorry - sorry. Jesus.” He whined, rubbing the wound with an open palm. “We’re sorry.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Ash stayed silent with his gaze to the floor, radiating his usual textbook definition of teen angst._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Ash?” Max warned. The teen shot his gaze up._ _ _ _ _ _

______“We’re sorry you chose such a shit profession.” He sneered. Charlie sighed in response and muttered in agreement to the statement as Shorter snickered._ _ _ _ _ _

______The two were seated on the couch of the Lobo house, towels wrapped around their shirtless body’s and dampness clinging to their denim. This wasn’t the first time the two were on trial like this; the adults of their lives peering down from stern gazes and crossed arms as appropriate punishment was debated. The older the two convicts got, the less of a shit they gave, and ear flicks were dealt around like candy.  
Whether it was stealing from liquor cabinets, shoving dollar store gum down their pants, or bullying naive tourists into giving them pocket money, usually Charlie’s law enforced opinion was somewhere in the equation. He hated these conversations as well. Let the poor man do his job._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Breaking public property is illegal.” He droned. “Fire hydrants are only for emergencies.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“This was an emergency, dipshit. It's hot.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Ha.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Boys!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______The tension was thick and the conversation was going nowhere. Max had sighed for the millionth time that night while Nadia and Shorter shot their language back and forth. Ash watched curiously._ _ _ _ _ _

______“ _Listen _,” Max barked, breaking out his veteran voice that he’d perfected in the army. Everyone turned their head as silence waded. He pressed on. “Obviously this is going nowhere. Ash, grounded. Shorter, grounded. Nadia, you can deal out the weeks.”___ _ _ _ _ _

________Cries of protest leapt out before Max cut in again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Not only did you guys do a crime, _again _, but you wrapped poor Eiji into your trouble.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“He wanted to, though!” Shorter stood, the towel that wrapped around his shoulders falling to his side in his sudden movement. “He had fun! Didn’t he, Ash?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Ash bowed his head and stayed quiet._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Either way, you two should know better. It’s only his third day here, what if he got hurt?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“He didn’t!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“But he could have - Ash?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Ash slithered out of the room with heavy and fast steps. A door slammed upstairs, rattling the group in realization that this trial’s sentence was finalized. Max sighed again and pinched his eyebrows._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Sorry, Charlie.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Later that night, when the extended family of the crime had returned to their respective homes, Max hesitated outside Ash’s door with sweaty palms._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I don’t know what to say to him!” He had argued with a hushed whisper when Jessica suggested him saving-face. She picked up a freshly bathed Micheal and shot him a stern eyebrow._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“He never storms off like that, Max.” She reminded cooly. Micheal grumbled sleepily in her arms and she swiped a hand across his drying hair. “Plus, he really did have fun today. Perhaps you were too harsh.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________So there Max was, straddling another parental problem. He seemed to have an easier time crossing enemy lines than he did a teenager's door. He raised a slow hand and beat against the wood._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Ash?” Silence. He drew in a breath, knocked again, and pressed down on the handle. “I’m coming in.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________The room was lit with the yellow glow of a bedside lamp, casting shadows off of Ash’s hunched figure. His back was to the door as he sat by his desk, head bowed and radiating venomous energy. When Max first met him, this was the only expression he ever gave off; “leave me alone”. And on days like this, he still looked like that scared little boy of first impressions, only now wide eyes of youth were replaced with the frustrations of puberty. Max felt an odd familiarity run through him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He crossed the room and peered over Ash’s shoulder. “What are you reading?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You know I hate that.” Ash mumbled with very little venom. He was tired of being angry. “‘Tender is the Night’.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Little intense for someone your age, eh?” Max joked. Ash shot him a quick glance before nustling deeper into himself. Max shrugged at the unsuccessful joke and sat down on the nearby bed. “Why don’t you read comic books or something?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Why don’t you read the room?” Ash quipped back. Despite the harsh words, his voice regained it’s usual smugness at the success of _his _joke. Max stood baffled before succumbing to a low chuckle.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Jesus, kid.” He smiled. “I can never catch a break can I?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Nope.” Ash flipped a page._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Fair enough.” Max sighed. A silence enveloped the room as Max fought the urge to just say goodnight and go, but Jessica’s pointed eyebrow flashed across his mind. “Listen…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I’m not going to apologize to you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I don’t want your apology!” Max sputtered. Ash gave him a doubtful side-eye through his reflective glasses. “I was just wondering what’s up with you, that’s all.”  
“Nothing’s up with me.” Ash lied, now eyeing the window that overlooked the road below. Violet puddles from the day’s crime still dripped into storm-drains as street lamps flickered on, and if his window was open he would hear their buzzing. Now, however, he wanted to shut it all out. “But I think you’re right.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“With Eiji?” Max asked, voice soft as he followed Ash’s stare. Usually he would joke about the teen’s admission to being wrong, but this was a moment for guidance, not teasing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“He’s just going to get into trouble.” Ash admitted, still not meeting his gaze. “If he’s friend’s with me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Max made an exasperated sigh as realization struck him. “Damnit, Ash, I shouldn’t have said that. Look at me,”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Ash looked over - obviously still a little hesitant to whatever was about to be said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You can be friends with someone without dragging them down with you.” Max continued. The air suddenly felt too heavy. “I mean, Jessica’s with my sorry ass, and you don’t see her rage quitting crosswords.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________That earned a small smile. Success._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“So is that what this was all about?” Max leaned over with his elbows on his knees, searching for any signs of distress in those green eyes. “Because from what I saw, he seemed to be having a good time with you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“But he’s too good. For this neighborhood, anyway.” Ash justified, remembering those wide eyes that reflected fondly upon a past life with his sister. Whatever brought Eiji here would eventually call him back. It was only a matter of time._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I’m not too sure about that, Ash. Shorter was pretty adamant that it was his idea.” Max remembered with a tilt of his head. “Maybe the real problem is that all go together _too _well. Another cog to the ruckus.”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Maybe.” Ash said unconvincingly. His gaze was back outside. “I don’t think it matters, though. He’s probably on lockdown.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Well so are you.” Max scolded with a stand. He rustled Ash’s hair on his way to the door. “Three weeks, princess.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Three?!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“It _was _four, so count your blessings.” Max shot another comforting look. “Remember what I said, okay?”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Okay.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Goodnight, Ash.” Max closed the door with a click, taking all the noise and ease with him. His footsteps receded down the hall._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Ash remained quiet, unable to shake that terrible feeling of doubt from his gut. He shut his book and leaned over._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Down the street, Eiji’s house stood quiet and tall. A yellow light beamed from his upstairs window, slightly darkened by newly purchased curtains. Ash could picture him, then; lying beneath freshly taped posters of past interests with his own bedside lamp illuminating his room. How many weeks would he be confined there? How many days would his window be the only escape to the outside? Three? Four?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________As if he could hear his questions, a figure appeared. A familiar shadow beneath the light. It looked down at the street in a ghostly pose, and Ash wished he had the strength to call. Wished he had the strength to clamber over like a lovesick Romeo and whisper from a balcony._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________But before he could even register a thought, the figure stepped back and the light flickered off._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________This was his sign. Max’s words meant nothing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________So Ash shut off his own light and crawled into bed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so with the holidays around the corner, i'm not sure how often i will be able to put these out. with that being said, writing about them splashing around is the only thing getting me through the winter - so i'll be working on it as often as i can!  
> also this is me trying to incorporate banana fish themes/ash's struggles in a less violent world sort of successfully. being grounded is in the same ballpark with killing people, right? 
> 
> thank you all for reading! please comment and leave kudos so i can feel motivated to continue haha  
> stay safe and stay loved<3
> 
> p.s yes im projecting my daddy issues onto max


	3. Sun-Soaked Stranger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Just a kid  
> I always make mistakes  
> And I never say I'm sorry”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****
> 
> hello and merry christmas!  
> i split up the next two chapters because this is gaining a lot more attention than i anticipated and wanted to get these out asap. ignore my bad grammar and enjoy
> 
> also this is going to be updated weekly at the latest<3

Eiji’s pen weighed heavy in his grasp as he stared down at the open spiral notebook. 

“しかしながら = HOWEVER  
さらに = FURTHERMORE  
に加えて = IN ADDITION TO ”

It was all pointless. English was such a peculiar language with too many options.

Eiji sighed in defeat and rested his chin on his palm, a thousand different prepositional phrases bouncing around his foggy head. He had endured a week of this endless studying - flipping through dictionaries to memorize new synonyms - and by this rate he’ll be a proper poet come autumn. There was simply nothing better to do.

But a world lay unopened beneath the cloth curtains of his window. A child’s game of basketball thwacked against the pavement in a rhythmic pattern, each bounce hitting a nail down in Eiji’s solitary coffin. An opposing team must have scored as cheers fluttered into his room, and the sound brought him back to that soggy day.

That _wonderful _day.__

__If Eiji strained, he could still hear Ibe’s angry scolding reflecting off the houses. If he focused, he could still feel the sympathetic gazes of neighbors piercing his face in a flush. But all he had to do was breath in order to feel the ghost of Ash’s fingers digging into his waistline. All he had to do was blink and green eyes were there to meet him._ _

__He cleared his throat and tapped his pen._ _

__It was childish and cliche to be so infatuated with a stranger - though Eiji could argue that Ash never looked at him like one. Ever since he clambered out of the moving truck - bright voices drawing his attention over to the colorful boys on the steps - those careful green eyes studied him with ease. It was as if he had crossed paths with an old friend or picked up a book he had read countless times over; there was a flicker of familiarity in his stance. Or at least that’s how Eiji justified it._ _

__Another swoosh and the game had been won. Children whooped._ _

__“Eiji-san?” A quiet voice murmured through his door. Eiji hummed and sat forward as Ibe walked in with a gentle smile._ _

__At first, the two had been reasonably angry with each other. But given the fact that they had both projected their own unrelated frustrations out on that day, bows of apologies were exchanged shortly after one night of slammed doors. They returned to their normal, respectful postures after that, despite the fact that Eiji remained inside as punishment._ _

__He had the common sense not to mention Ash._ _

__“Are you studying?” Ibe asked in Japanese, his words tinted in an obvious pleasure as he spoke. Homesickness always revealed itself in odd places - one of which being natural conversation._ _

__“I am.” Eiji shifted to let the older man peer at his notebook. Ibe nodded approvingly and pointed._ _

__“‘However’ is the one you should focus on,” He reminded. “But these are good. They’ll prove your natural intelligence, Eiji-san.”_ _

__Eiji smiled a hopeful beam. So far, all of his English interactions had been understood by both parties with little to no bumps of confusion. But the frustrations of miscommunication were always possible, and if anyone knew about that it was Ibe. He had to be made constantly aware of his language in order to prove himself worthy of escaping stereotypes, and the last thing he ever wanted was for Eiji to be doomed with a label. Perhaps that’s why he had been so angry to find his responsibility soaked that day._ _

__“Are you going to work?” Eiji asked casually, noting the older man’s attire with a glance._ _

__“Just for the afternoon.” Ibe confirmed. He straightened his tie. “Will you be able to fix dinner on your own?”_ _

__“M-hm.”_ _

__“And you know how to work the landline?”_ _

__“M-hm.”_ _

__“And you’ll call if anything happens?”_ _

__“Yes, Ibe-san.” Eiji laughed in both reassurance and slight annoyance. “I know I look childish, but I do not need another parent.”_ _

__“Ah,” Ibe gave a weak chuckle at the teen’s self-awareness. “I know I know. But I _am _in charge of you.”___ _

____A split second thought ran mutual between them: ‘Let’s see how long that lasts.'_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Eiji listened for the rattle of the front door before dropping his farewell smile. He pulled back his curtains and watched as Ibe’s figure grew small against the endless sidewalk, his briefcase bouncing against his leg in a rhythm similar to the basketball’s thwack. It was just as deafening to Eiji, who stood suspended between right and wrong - though the morals of his desires were debatable. Either way, his metaphorical coffin was becoming claustrophobic._ _ _ _

____It wasn’t as if he didn’t like his room. The blue walls had all of his posters and all of his pictures, the bed had his sheets, the shelves had his books, and the closet had all of his seasonal sweaters on identical racks. But ever since he stepped foot on this free soil, he had been struggling to find himself among the country's promise of inclusion. So far, the only time he felt at home was in the arms of a sun-soaked stranger._ _ _ _

____So if Ibe had pressed Eiji into revealing more pages of his studies, he would have found an entire sheet dedicated to this neighborhood. Words like ‘hydrant’, ‘rainbow’, ‘sun’, ‘green’; they all littered the blue lines with scribbles of definitions beside them. The language of a new home called out from their notebook inscriptions, beckoning Eiji to reach for his shoes._ _ _ _

____He didn’t even know where Ash lived._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____****_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____“Eiji Okumura.” He introduced with a bow._ _ _ _

____The women on the other side of the door peered down at him with a suspicious squint. “Nadia Wong.”_ _ _ _

____“Is Shorter in?” He asked - perhaps a little bit too eagerly - with a straightened back. Although Eiji wasn’t a regular liar, the words that slipped out next came as easy as the truth. “I have a question about our school’s summer reading.”_ _ _ _

____Nadia opened the door wider and leaned on the frame, jutting out her hip in feminine authority. She seemed to believe his story - much to Eiji’s surprise. “Shorter’s grounded. And not that bright.”_ _ _ _

____“I know,” He laughed back nervously. Everyone knew that Nadia Wong’s heart was strung out with a cop on one end and a reckless little brother on the other - so of course she had her way around a liar. Thus, Eiji committed to his story with a simpler line. “I just don’t understand the English quite yet, and Ibe’s at work.”_ _ _ _

____He didn’t feel good about playing the foreigner card, especially when he stood on the footsteps of another Asian household, but that feeling of guilt dissipated just as quickly as Nadia mumbled a quiet: “Wait here.”_ _ _ _

____A few moments later Shorter appeared, grinning in all his purple-haired glory. He was wearing a loose graphic shirt, plaid pajama pants, and an impressed expression at Eiji’s presence. “What’s up? You only get a week, newbie?”_ _ _ _

____“I snuck out.” Eiji explained after peering inside to make sure Nadia wasn’t eavesdropping. Shorter raised his eyebrows and tilted his head as the boy continued. “I came over to apologize.”_ _ _ _

____They stared at each other for a blinking moment._ _ _ _

____Then Shorter caught on._ _ _ _

____“Nah-h.” He exclaimed suddenly with a shake of his head. He swiped a thumb across his nose with a knowing smile. “Nice try though. You’re a good liar, Eiji.”_ _ _ _

____“I am?”_ _ _ _

____“Almost had me there for a second.”_ _ _ _

____“I did?”_ _ _ _

____“Sixth sense.” Shorter tapped his naked temple where sunglasses would normally perch. “I can always see ulterior motives, Eiji, and _yours _is currently sulking in his bedroom down the street.”___ _ _ _

______Eiji felt a violated crinkle run up his brain. Of course Shorter could see through bullshit; he grew up on this street. And since there were no easily kept secrets on this littered block, you had to either pick up on social queues or never get the truth from closed off friends. Call it experience or just one too many lost poker games, but Shorter had become a master of perception._ _ _ _ _ _

______Especially when it came to Ash._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Second to last with faded blue steps.” He continued in allusion to the Lobo house. Eiji’s obvious shock urged a slight jest. “Though, if I were you, I would rely on those wide eyes of yours instead of that shitty homework excuse.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji let a sly smile turn his lips as violation dissipated. “I think you’re reading too much into it.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Maybe.” Shorter bounced his shoulders. “But I know Ash, and he definitely doesn’t want to talk about ‘summer reading’. Well, at least with you. And by the way, if an old blonde woman opens the door, definitely get a better excuse. Nothing gets past her.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Shorter’s name was called from the inside of the dark house by a barking voice, insinuating an end to this conversation._ _ _ _ _ _

______“End of the block, across the street, blue stairs.” Shorter called in reminder as the dark haired boy bounded off his porch. “Oh - and Eiji?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji turned with a raised brow._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You’re English is impressive.” He grinned knowingly. “Keep it up.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji smiled back. “Thank you, Shorter.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______The afternoon sun was beaming down brightly on the black asphalt, soaking up heat with whispering rays of humidity. Eiji scanned for those famous blue steps from a nearly empty street - the basketball players and daily dog walkers had retreated back inside. If the older boys of this block weren’t currently grounded, Eiji was sure it would be bustling with life instead. They seemed to own these parts and control the mood with their cursing games._ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji crossed the street and headed west, aware that any of his neighbors could be peaking out from behind their own disclosed curtains. One wrong phone call and he’d be done for. A hesitance ran through him at the thought, but it was shaken just as easily as the distant sound of childish murmurs grew nearer._ _ _ _ _ _

______On those very faded steps of blue, beneath a mailbox that read ‘Lobo’, a young boy sat with colorful toy cars splayed out beneath his legs. Eiji recognized him as Ash’s kid brother - “Might as well be.” - Michael. And despite them not being related by blood, the younger boy’s eyes flashed a similar and careful gleam to those older green ones._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hello,” Eiji smiled as he approached the steps slowly. “I’m Ash’s friend, Eiji.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You’re the new kid aren’t you?” Micheal wondered, initial fear melting away with replacement curiosity. “Daddy talks about you.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Does he?” Eiji chuckled in amusement at the simple way that children conversed. It reminded him sweetly of his sister._ _ _ _ _ _

______“M-hm. Ash too.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Is he in a lot of trouble?” Eiji asked as he bent down. He observed the toy cars with interest as they all sat mid-race._ _ _ _ _ _

______“He’s been quiet, and in his room. He doesn’t play with me.” Micheal explained. Suddenly his eyes grew adorably wide. “Hey - would you?!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______From behind the door that was perched upon the steps, Micheals sudden yelp alerted a maternal scold. “Micheal, who’s there?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Ash’s friend!” The young boy called back. The screen door was pulled open and Jessica stepped out, peering down the steps with a neutral gaze. Her blonde hair fell off her shoulders in a wave of wheat, and for a seemingly simple day she wore an impressive dress. Eiji wondered doubtfully if this was the “old woman” Shorter had referred to in warning._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hello, Ma’am.” Eiji introduced in his best and most innocent pronunciation. The woman walked forwards and stopped at the top step as he rose from yet another bow. “Eiji Okumura.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I know.” A small smile appeared on her lips as she took him in. “So you’re the famous Eiji. I can see why he’s been making such a fuss.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji grew nervous as a flush tinted his ears. ‘Nothing gets past her.’ He thought._ _ _ _ _ _

______“What brings you over, Eiji?” She continued. Her voice was readable as passive, but it hid an obvious sternness in warning: One wrong move and she’d chase you off with a fist._ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji was once again reminded of Ash in that sense._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I was worried.” He said truthfully, holding her gaze with a newfound confidence of honesty. He couldn’t bring himself to lie. “I wanted to make sure he was alright.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______The two stood in a quiet competition of hard stares as a silence waded. Micheal was now murmuring happily to himself, blissfully unaware of the standoff happening above him._ _ _ _ _ _

______Jessica was the first to break._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You got balls, kid.” She admitted with a satisfied squint of her eyes. Eiji was almost intimidated by this gaze, but a smile on her painted lips eased him back into relief. “I respect honesty. Wait here.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______She disappeared back inside with a breeze, calling out Ash’s name beneath the quietness. Eiji let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding; it was strange to admit that she had been the scariest thing about this neighborhood._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Can you play now?” Micheal asked with a blink._ _ _ _ _ _

______By the time Ash exited his room with a pointed stare in Jessica’s direction, Eiji was sitting besides Micheal with a yellow car underneath his fingertips. He was humoring the younger boy by running the toy up and down the crackling steps, so distracted by the game that he almost missed the sound of the screen door shutting. He turned._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______He was home._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______“Hi.” Eiji greeted._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hi.” Ash eased. He dug his hands into his pockets and waltzed down the stairs._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Ash!” Micheal’s voice bounded, two cars stuck in his fists as the blonde neared. “Eiji’s playing with me.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I can see that.” Ash mused as he joined the two on the bottom step. He sat on the other side of Micheal and gave Eiji a teasing look. “What model you got?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji shrugged out a chuckle and passed the car over with a delicate hand._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Ah-a. Ferrari.” Ash murmured after a quick inspection. He held it out. “I usually take the red one.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji palmed it back with a similar smirk. “You play with cars often then, Ash?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“More often than you sneak out, Eiji.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“The summer is still young.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______The two stared at each other, atmosphere so intimate they almost forgot about the bustling boy in-between them. The interruption grumbled. “I wish Ash would play with _me _instead of reading those stupid books.”___ _ _ _ _ _

________Ash continued to gaze at Eiji for a beat before the two mutually pulled away with soft expressions. He looked around the street with a gracious sigh and acknowledged the half-pint. “They’re not stupid, you’re just illiterate.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I don’t even know what that means.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“My point exactly.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“What do you read?” Eiji asked. Micheal gave another grumble of ignorance and started rolling a car between his chubby palms._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“A little bit of everything.” Ash yawned, leaning back on his elbows and letting his legs stretch out upon the steps. He reminded Eiji of a leisurely cat who had been denied its perch for far too long. “Classics, mostly. I’ve been reading a lot these days.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Guilt struck Eiji with a pange. Between the imagery of Ash locked up inside to the peaceful boy that lay beside him now, Eiji felt somewhat responsible for this. “I’m sorry,” he thumbed the inseams of his jeans. “About that.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ash gave an airy laugh. “What do you have to apologize for?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“It was sort of my idea, Ash.” Eiji reminded with a devoided smile. He glanced over to find those green eyes already reflecting back sternly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“No, I should’ve stopped it.” He pressed. Eiji hadn’t heard this tone from Ash before; a deprecating declaration of a boy needing to be a man. He seemed far too comfortable with being sincere, and Eiji wondered with a small thought how often Ash felt like he had to put himself down._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________So he dropped the accountability debate with a quiet hum. “Do you regret it, then?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________A heavy silence rested underneath the sounds of Micheal’s play as the two turned towards each other. “Of course not.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Eiji smiled. “Me neither.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________So the three boys sat hunched on those warm steps, bouncing banter between them as the afternoon slipped by. Ash had elaborated on some of his favorite books, wrinkling his nose at the fact that Eiji had only heard of a handful. Eiji retaliated with his own shounen comics that of course Ash “didn’t have the time for”, and the two were getting so easily fired up that Micheal felt compelled to end the conversation with a grunt and an open screen door. After that, the two privately exchanged questions underneath the summer sun for quite a while._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The blonde had lavishly splayed himself out as the conversation carried on, and if it weren’t for a talkative mouth one would assume he was fixing himself for a nap. His hair radiated off his head and down his nape in a bright tussle that Eiji was sure carried personal sunlight. He caught himself staring and turned._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Your last name is different. To the old man you’re with, I mean.” Ash commented after a quiet pause that allowed for his curiosity to boil over._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“He’s not that old.” Eiji reminded with a chuckle. He wasn’t as reclined as Ash was, but he was melting just as well. He propped a foot out and sighed. “And I could say the same about you, Callenreese.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Touché, Okumura.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Oh-Koo-Moo-rah.” Eiji corrected. Ash laughed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________But the question hung in the air for a weighted moment as Eiji pondered. He started to pick upon his jeans again in that nervous habit, drawing out a strand off the faded hem like a patient thought. “It’s not a happy story.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Neither is mine.” Ash related softly, voice matching in volume as he reflected upon his own hidden memories. His half-lidded eyes drew open and fixated on Eiji’s fidgeting fingers. He smiled as they flickered up. “Later, then?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Eiji exhaled lightly in agreement. “Later.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Times up!” Jessica called out in warning, her tough voice muted against the interior of the house. Ash gave a quiet growl and sat up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Max comes home soon.” He explained with a stretch as a curious glance was shot in his direction. “Jessica’s my parol officer.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Ah,” Eiji noted. He was unable to let his disappointment shine through as he watched Ash stand. “I should go then, too.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________A hand dipped down in his line of sight. Eiji hummed and took it graciously._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The two laughed out their flutters as Eiji stumbled to his feet, nearly colliding with the taller boy’s shoulder from the sudden and stuttered motion. Ash’s hand was sturdy and soft and instantly missed as he placed it back into his pocket - and that familiar homesickness returned to Eiji’s gut._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ash seemed to notice it as well. “Say, Eiji...”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Hm?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ash overwhelmed him with a mischievous gleam of emerald. “Do you know what a fire escape is?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh i hope you all like where this is going!! next chapter is sneaking into room chapter and i’m so excited lmao. i’m still trying to make it as slow burn as possible but i honestly cannot stop myself i love their chemistry too much, so lmk what you guys think/expect for ash and eiji in this. i’m curious!
> 
> thank you to all who are commenting and sharing and liking etc., it really does make my day.   
> happy holidays everyone,   
> stay safe and stay loved<3


	4. All the Quiet Nights You Bear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I will take good care of you,  
> ... So stay with me  
> Hold my hand  
> There's no need  
> To be brave"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new year! starting 2021 off with one of my favorite chapters so far<3 thank you A for editing ily
> 
> i have made a playlist that i will be adding to weekly, each song associated with a chapter. here's the link:  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0d3ZaMSlcdiuVwqFOfSfEd
> 
> thank you to those who have been commenting, it really does keep me motivated. if anyone has questions put 'em down, i love answering them:)  
> anyway enjoy, i really think you guys will like it

Eiji’s fire escape slithered down in a crisscross pattern of rustic metal. It was only two stories tall, grazing the flat roof and possibly the sidewalk if the rickety ladder could be successfully pulled. It was mandatory for every house in this neighborhood to have this contraption, but just like the fire hydrant, it was ignored and never used for its original precautious purpose. Instead, delinquents exploited it as a gateway to creep inside locked bedrooms or to smoke their bummed cigarettes on. 

The clanging of abandoned metal usually allerted parental figures of their teens’ disobedience, so cat-like stealth was needed in order to remain unnoticed. Luckily, due to late night gambling games and impulse weeknight sleepovers with Shorter, Ash had perfected a silent strategy over the years. He was so quiet, in fact, he had scared Eiji upon the first window tap. 

“I didn’t even hear you.” Eiji whispered as he pushed away the lock. He had been anticipating Ash’s arrival ever since he left those blue steps that afternoon - but now that a few hours had passed and Ibe was sleeping down the hall, there was an anxious pitch in his voice.

“Told you,” Ash smiled back knowingly, strands of gold falling in front of his face as he peered into the warmly lit bedroom. He carefully placed his shoes on the railing before swinging his legs inside. “I’m quiet.”

“Practice?” Eiji guessed.

Ash nodded, aware of the other boy’s height as he made an effort of glancing down. “Hi.”

Eiji made an effort of glancing up. “Hi.”

As natural as breathing. 

“You’ve _unpacked _well.” Ash commented with a slight tilt of his head. He was right of course - the room was now crowded with Eiji’s personal items as opposed to moving boxes. Ash shamelessly looked around.__

__“Couldn’t have done it without the tape.” Eiji shrugged, watching. His tender comment earned a sly smile from Ash that fizzled out with a sudden pause - he had noticed something interesting._ _

__Eiji followed with a turn of his head as Ash crossed the room. The item of discussion was a four-by-six photo that hung snuggly between the bookshelf and desk, purposefully discreet. Eiji thought to himself with a light quip; ‘Of course he found it.’_ _

__“Is this you?” Ash asked in an unusually serious tone._ _

__“Yes,” Eiji crept up behind the other’s shoulder to look as well. “Back when I was an athlete. _Bōtakatobi _.”___ _

____“What does that mean?” Ash asked through a vague whisper. He could have guessed its meaning, but a part of him wanted to hear it said directly from the boy’s mouth._ _ _ _

____Eiji thought for a moment, translating. “Pole-vaulting,” He concluded. “It is a popular sport in Japan.”_ _ _ _

____Ash was quiet. “It is a really good photo.”_ _ _ _

____Eiji turned to him, a little embarrassed and shocked at the tenderness in the other’s voice. It _was _a good photo where it counted, since Ibe had gotten several awards and worthy recognition for the action shot. But the way that Ash studied it now made it seem worthy of the Louvre.___ _ _ _

______Those green eyes were saturated with colorful admiration as they flickered across Eiji’s arching body, seemingly unaware that the real thing was staring up at him instead._ _ _ _ _ _

______It always surprised Eiji how easily he could get lost in all the small details of Ash Callenreese. Everything about him seemed so aesthetically wonderful; the color of his skin against the soft light, the perk of his nose’s structure, the mouth that frowned too much now opened slightly in awe. For someone so obviously picturesque, he seemed awfully transfixed by his own photo. It flattered both of them with a flush._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Ibe took it, actually.” Eiji muttered. He was about to draw his eyes away but Ash held them in place with a glance of his own. The two exchanged breathy whispers and blatant stares._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Really?” He wouldn’t look away._ _ _ _ _ _

______“M-hm.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Wow.” Not now, not ever._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Ash,”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hm?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Your eyelashes…”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“My what?” Ash asked inattentively. He was busy awing a singular freckle beneath Eiji’s right eye that he hadn’t noted before, and this new fact called for all of his devotion._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I just noticed how,” The freckle creased as he smiled. “Even your eyelashes are blonde, too.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Ash drew his attention back up to find Eiji’s loving gaze. Despite the desire to match it, he couldn’t help the anticipated joke ripple through the air. “Blonde down there, too…”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji lowered his eyebrows._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Wanna see?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______****_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______A week had passed of this nightly routine: Eiji unlocking his window, Ash climbing up only to creep back down. Repeat. The two were so caught up in themselves that when Ibe had called goodnight that first evening, Eiji had to clamp a palm over Ash's shuddering smile in order to smother the laughter. Subsequently, Ibe’s ‘goodnights’ became anticipated and prepared for, and since Ash always crept back into his room before Max would leave for work, nobody knew about Eiji’s reappearing ghost. They intended to keep it that way until neither of them were grounded._ _ _ _ _ _

______At first, they filled the hours with mindless conversation; learning about schools and countries and interests and families. Sometimes there would be a comfortable silence to which they would just breathe, finding solace in the knowledge of the other’s company._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Tonight was one of those nights, except there was a cloud of tension that couldn’t be placed._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______“You’re quiet.” Eiji commented. He was sitting on one end of the bed with Ash on the other - their socked feet grazing the crinkles of cotton sheets beneath them. Conversation this evening was dim as Eiji senselessly scribbled in his open notebook, Ash with his annotated novel. But Eiji knew that Ash was an expressive reader; he’d chuckle at humorous parts, furrow brows at tense ones, read out an occasional philosophical sentence to consider. And tonight his blonde brimmed stare felt devoid of all its usual quirks as he read in absolute silence._ _ _ _ _ _

______That gaze flickered up only to retreat back down. “So are you.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji knocked a foot against his leg in a jostled motion. “You know what I mean.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Ash ignored him and flipped a page. Eiji kicked again._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Eiji,” The air was teetering. Ash released an unregistered grip on his book that those dark eyes seemed to be noting. “I’m fine.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______It felt like their regular banter was hidden beneath unresolved concern. Eiji couldn’t pretend it wasn’t there, but he also knew the dullness in those green eyes were there for a protective reason. He returned his attention back to the notebook on his lap, shifting so that his knees supported the pages, and let the conversation fizzle out with an uncapped pen. “You’re a bad liar.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______He had said this as a fleeting thought - words dripping in an easy tone that allowed for teasing - but he felt Ash stiffen from across that endless mattress. The comfortable silence was replaced with a deafening one as the two pretended to be lost in their own activities instead of their own heads._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Finally, Ash broke._ _ _ _ _ _

______“How did you know?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Eiji looked up with a gentle surprise. Ash was staring at the space between them, a rare vulnerability cradling his face as he avoided eye contact. Eiji had studied this face once before when their conversation feathered over Griffin, but even that had just been a brief allusion - his brother had been described in the past-tense with nothing explained and nothing proved. That had been days ago._ _ _ _ _ _

______So Eiji drank him in with a rare gaze of honesty. “Your eyes.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Ash blinked them closed in a final attempt of secrecy. Eiji discarded his notebook to the side in a gesture of devotion._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I haven’t slept well.” Ash said with as much conviction as a child. He wasn’t sure as to why he felt compelled to open up in a situation he would normally ignore with a grunt, but Eiji read him so easily. Shamelessly. There was no point in constructing a facade for someone who breezed right past it._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You have been leaving pretty late.” Eiji shrugged. Ash shook his head._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______If he pressed against a nervous thought and focused on the silence, Ash could hear the rise and fall of Eiji’s chest from across the space between them. It was a lullaby of inhales that drew out honesty with every exhale, and Ash already seemed to have the melody memorized._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’m dreaming again.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______It was always as natural as breathing._ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji shifted closer. Ash opened his eyes_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______“Tell me.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______****_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______The room lay dark, kissed with an extending sun._ _ _ _ _ _

______Shadows grew long across bookshelves and corners and hidden spaces yet to be discovered as the morning seeped in through a curtained window. Beneath the peach colored glow, two boys slept with crumples of sheets beneath their legs and limbs entangled. One stirred awake in an inhale and fluttered blonde lashes against the light._ _ _ _ _ _

______He felt the body against him before he registered the thought._ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji was asleep on his stomach, dark eyelashes - contrasted to Ash’s own - draped downwards in a slope that was partially hidden by a rumpled pillow. His mouth was open in a plump expression of exhales that Ash found himself blatantly lingering over; he’d never seen such peace. Yet with the rate in which the sun was rising, he would have to disturb it._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Eiji,” Ash muttered. The blonde had fallen asleep on his back, shoulder pressed so tightly to Eiji’s that it assured the fact that he had leaned against it at some point. The closeness left little room to stir. “Eiji.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji nuzzled his head deeper into the pillow with a mumble. His bangs that lay messy across his temple creased in a thousand different directions - proving a night well rested. Ash chuckled and turned his head in search of the clock upon the wall._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______“I bought that clock in Izumo,” Ash remembers Eiji saying. He had asked why the clock was still fourteen hours ahead, to which Eiji fondly explained. “With my mother. It feels strange to change the hours back.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“But the time is wrong,” Ash had justified. Eiji shrugged. This had been one of their first nights together._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I know,” He said with a shy laugh that masked a readable pain. He was fumbling with the hems of his jeans again. “It feels like I’m still connected, this way. I’m afraid that I’ll forget them somehow.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Now, the clock reads eight p.m; a whole day has passed overseas. Ash now understood what he meant by forget._ _ _ _ _ _

______He did the calculations in his head, and found that Max would soon wake with the sound of a coffee pot. He turned back over. “Eiji, wake-up.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Dark eyes fluttered this time - soft, gentle, and warm with sleep. They blinked half-heartedly at the blonde, registering him with a smile and a breath of recognition._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Morning.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Mornin’.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji slowly rolled onto his back in a similar position to how Ash lay. He let a yawn come naturally beneath a deep and hoarse voice. “Have you decided to get caught today?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“No,” Ash nudged a shoulder against the other’s to emit a grumble. “I should go.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji nodded with a bob of his throat. His stare grew a little softer, his voice a little lighter. “Did you dream?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Ash thought for a brief moment. He remembered nothing but the smell of Eiji beneath his subconscious, and the realization pricked his heart. “No.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji smiled like he meant it. “Good.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______The clock ticked._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______“I should go.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Okay.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Their heads were pointed towards each other - soft gazes proding through vulnerability like the sun through the window pane. It was ironic how Eiji referred to Ash as a personal sun, yet Ash believed him to be the light. Either way, warmth and goodness spread between them like a new day. Getting caught no longer felt like a threat if this is what they were risking._ _ _ _ _ _

______Still, he should have said thank you. He should have reached forwards and kissed his gratitude into those pink lips that spoke a language he didn’t understand. He should have weeped all of his unsaid vulnerabilities into that strong shoulder because no one else would have him. He should have stayed right where he was, because it was right where he belonged._ _ _ _ _ _

______But instead, “I should go.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Ash sat up from the bed with a burn in his side. He crossed the room with heavy steps, leaving Eiji to claw for warmth in his dent upon the mattress. A scrambling whisper leapt from his throat, “Ash?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______The blonde turned immediately, yet again reminded of how peaceful things looked against the glow of sunrise. Eiji was still in yesterday’s button-up that creased lovingly across his lounging body, and the image promised to stand stark against the corners of Ash’s mind forever. If Eiji were to leave this country today and never return, Ash would be satisfied with this being the last memory._ _ _ _ _ _

______But the silent plea teetering on his lips would leave it forever tainted: Stay._ _ _ _ _ _

______Because Eiji wanted to beg. Wanted to wrap his arms around Ash’s torso and pull him with promised protection as the memories of last night flooded his rationality._ _ _ _ _ _

______“They were all over me,” Ash had said, not knowing who they were. “I felt them.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji felt them now, too - crawling down his throat to rip apart his heart in empathy. Yesterday he had peeled apart Ash’s protective layers to reveal what was left of his unsaid past; a scared little boy with blood on his hands. The kind of memories that had to be uprooted in order for Ash to dream the way he did left Eiji with a sour taste on his tongue._ _ _ _ _ _

______He couldn’t imagine leaving this boy. Not now, “Sleep here.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Not ever._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______“I’ll be back.” Ash promised through a whisper of his own. Eiji blinked up at him with disapproving eyes before stirring up from his position. He didn’t believe him._ _ _ _ _ _

______Ash watched as the older boy shifted out of bed, padded across the wooden floor, and plucked a frame off the wall. He fumbled with it momentarily before popping it out of its encasement._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Eiji,” Ash began. A glossy photo was thrusted in his direction._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Take it.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I can’t.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You can.” Eiji pressed the photo into Ash’s palm, holding him there with a flat and stern grip. His eyes lifted up. “Because you need it.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Ash marveled at this expression of selflessness. Once his shocked gaze melted into gratitude, Eiji was satisfied enough to let his hand slip away despite a trailing desire to keep it there._ _ _ _ _ _

______Ash was left trembling. “Thank you.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji smiled, pretending not to notice. “It’s only fitting. You stare at it every night, anyway.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Ash stood poised in a quiet hesitation. Eiji was sure he was going to murmur another ‘I should go’, but instead those shaking hands found their way around the dip of Eiji’s spine as Eiji’s own retreated upwards._ _ _ _ _ _

______They embraced under the morning light - arms tight and heads burrowed in that growing familiarity of each other’s warmth. The hug was rushed and far too short, but beneath the sudden movement Ash made a whispered promise that tickled Eiji’s neck: “I’ll be back.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji held him under for a moment longer. “Please.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______****_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Ash didn’t recognize his room when he stepped back into it. He never did these days._ _ _ _ _ _

______The expected sounds of morning followed his padded footsteps as he crept. Beneath the floorboards, the hum of a coffee pot alerted the house of Max’s stirring. Outside, a dog barked at the arrival of a mailman who whistled along to his walk-man. Underneath it all, the commotion of the city rang true with every taxi horn and clanging train. Yet ever since he woke, Ash felt as if the world had gone silent._ _ _ _ _ _

______Had he changed? Had the neighborhood changed?_ _ _ _ _ _

______He plucked down on his bed with a jostled bounce that paused the stirring downstairs. Ash was now aware that Max could hear him, but he couldn’t find the urge to care as a crinkle rang out against his back pocket. There, the folded photo lay between denim. He inspected it with a pleasing touch._ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji was pictured mid-vault. His athletic body was silhouetted against the bright blue sky, giving his features an impression of intensity as he concentrated on the leap. One hand was suspended against his chest while the other still gripped that tension pulled-pole. Tan legs swooped beneath him like fanned wings as if he was flying. It was a really good photo._ _ _ _ _ _

______When he handed it over, Eiji had said it was because Ash needed it. They both knew how badly Ash wanted - needed - to stay, yet Eiji’s grip had been so adamant it was as if he was saying ‘I understand that you can’t’. He wanted a part of him to be folded away in Ash’s back pocket so that way he could always be there, even in physical absence._ _ _ _ _ _

______His smile had been so warm, then. It was as if he knew that he had knocked down Ash’s walls to reveal a boy who - for the first time in his life - wasn’t scared._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______“Ash?” Max tapped on his door in interruption. “You awake?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Ash tucked the photo behind his pillow, reassured that it would be nestled beneath his head every night. He tried his best to stop the clambering in his chest as he called back into the room._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yeah.”_ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i absolutely love how this turned out (despite the fact that it was SO hard to write.) i think this is the last chapter they'll be grounded in - i need them back on the streets running around.
> 
> also life update: i'm going to be moving to a different state within the next week, so i don't know if i will be able to update the next chapter on time. give the playlist a listen if i'm late! 
> 
> i love you all, thank you for 500+ reads  
> stay safe and stay loved<3
> 
> p.s: again, ty to my friend who has been editing this for me. pls don't tell mom


	5. Keep the Things you Forgot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ' People you've been before,  
> that you don't want around anymore...
> 
> I'll make you okay, and drive them away  
> the images stuck in your head '

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i say this every time i post, but this might be my new favorite chapter. i hope you guys enjoy, i loved writing it.
> 
> trigger warnings are going to be put in the end-notes for anyone who might be sensitive to certain topics! generally i am going to keep everything vague in this story, but i do make more suggestive allusions to ash's past here. he's healing, though, i promise.
> 
> again, thank you all for your lovely comments and kudos. updated playlist is up!  
> happy reading!<3

“You need a haircut.”

“A what?”

Shorter slung a plastic bag over his shoulder. “A haircut, Lynx.”

“Yeah, right,” Ash twinged slightly at both the nickname and the tease. He found himself running a free hand through his hair anyway, catching the pale strands that scampered long against his nape. He grew serious. “Think so?”

“You know Nadia’ll do it.” Shorter suggested, corner-store bought gum smacking between his teeth. He chortled with a pop of a bubble, “Or do the Japanese like it long, hm?”

A fist flew between them. 

“Asshole.” Ash readjusted his grip on the plastic. “It’s not like that.”

Shorter shrugged off a smirk and a growing pain in his arm as the two fell back into step, their own respected bags heavy by their sides.

For the past week they have been sent on these droning errands - their debt from the recent incident still looming over their heads with every parental instruction. Today, a manilla colored grocery list was slapped into their palms alongside a crumpled twenty. 

“I expect the change back. Down to the penny.” Max had pressed sternly when the two peered down at the money. “No funny business, alright?” 

What he didn’t know wouldn’t kill him. “Where’s the pack?”

“In my pocket.” Ash responded with a huff of extersion. Despite the fact that the sun had already reached its peak and was shimmying down the city skyline, the day’s heat still lingered upon their sweaty temples. Summer was starting to drag on like one of Shorter’s puffs. 

“Gi’ me one. I’m fiending.” 

“We’re almost home.”

“Ugh,” Shorter groaned. He kicked a pebble into a nearby storm drain out of frustration and made a mutual comment. “I fuckin’ hate the fourth of July.”

Ash hummed. Due to the fact that the block was preparing for tomorrow’s patriotic celebration, the grocery list had been scribbled to the brim with various grilling items and miniature sparklers. The holiday was much more exciting when all they had to do was reap the benefits. Now, it all seemed pointless and far too expensive as bags overflowed in their tired hands. 

Out of boredom and attempted optimism, Shorter started to whistle a melody that staccatoed itself into an upbeat rhythm. Ash fell into step with the fast-paced song - which revealed itself to be a top forty that Nadia often looped on her busted radio. If they were different people perhaps they’d sing along to the lyrics they obviously knew, but they were just Shorter and Ash. Ash and Shorter. The only intellectual difference between the two being that one carried the beat while the other strolled alongside it.

So of course Shorter knew. He knew all of it. 

By the time the two neared the neighborhood, their song had run its course. They approached the Lobo house with aching arms and red-striped knuckles that waved weakly at some passing friends.

“Took you long enough.” Max sighed, a miniature flag under his attention as he strung it across the mailbox. A few neighbors were doing the same, leaving the street to be quite busy despite the purpling evening. Everyone seemed to be buzzing with anticipation. 

Jessica and Nadia were seated on the steps besides him, basking in the rare estrogen they’ve always lacked but desperately savored. Jessica instructed the two with a wave as they neared, “You can put those on the counter. Thank you, boys.”

Ash cavilled as he and Shorter climbed, “I better get two dogs for this.” 

“You’ll get what I make you.” Max barked back. He dropped his head down in concentration. “Ash - one more thing.”

The teen sighed dramatically and swiveled from the top step. Shorter breezed right passed him. 

“Eiji came by earlier. Lookin’ for you.”

Ash’s timid heart felt heavier than the bag beneath his grip and his face flushed redder than his knuckles. He turned back with forced nonchalance, “Okay.”

But his initial attempt to appear aloof was tainted by a millisecond of fondness at Eiji’s mention, and everyone caught it with a knowing stare. He adjusted cooly with a straightened back - those were the same assumption filled glances that were shot in his direction when he had asked for tape all those weeks ago. That same bitterness struck his chest at the thought of being read so easily. 

Shorter pulled open the door and sighed dramatically, “Eiji, Eiji, Eiji.”

Beneath the sound of the screen door slamming, Ash could hear the adults laugh with a suggestive sly. A boil of anger bubbled in his gut as he dropped the bags down on the counter. Shorter shot him a raised brow and did the same with gentler motions.

“I think you need a smoke more than I do,” He commented as Ash slithered past. “Don’t you like him?”

Of course he did. At the very least Ash liked Eiji. But at the very most those cracked jokes and previously established notions of how he felt came to him with a shameful prick. He was a boy and Eiji was a boy - so why did everyone have the same playground giggle like the ones of little girls? It was nobody’s business and nobody’s punchline. 

But there was a worm in his brain, gnawing at the folds between the memories of Eiji waking up alongside him; they’re right.

“Where’s the fucking lighter?”

“I’ll do you one better,” Shorter set his palms upon the counter and leaned down. He knew. Of course he knew. “Where’s the fucking kid?” 

Across the street and to the east, Eiji sat on his dimly lit porch with a book propped against his lap. The fading light of day made it difficult to read, but the blatant freedom of breathing the summer air made his efforts worth it. He couldn’t get enough of this budding patriotic atmosphere - despite the vague knowledge he had of it. 

“Fireworks. America.”

“But why July fourth?” Eiji asked with a tap of his foot. He had been sitting on his unmade bed while Ash occupied the floor, his tan leg draped across the blonde’s shoulder. Ash gave it a bounce as he shrugged. 

“Is it fun?” Eiji continued. Curiosity had been chewing his interest ever since the holiday was mentioned on a newspaper headline depicting the weather: Blue skies for Independence Day!

“If you like America.”

“Do you like America?”

Ash considered it. “I like the food.” 

Eiji smiled at yesterday’s memory and flipped a page. It was hard to imagine that weeks ago Eiji had no idea of Ash’s existence, yet now it seemed he couldn’t fathom a day without him. Perhaps that’s why he braved a change and walked over to those blue steps earlier that afternoon, asking a stocky man where Ash was. The man introduced himself as Max and referred to Ash as “the kid” - instituting a form of careless admiration for his might-as-well-be son. 

“I’ll tell the kid you stopped by,” He had said with a glint. “He’ll be happy to hear from you.”

Eiji smiled. He could be so boyish sometimes. 

“Is that mine?”

Speak of the devil and he shall appear - standing five foot eleven in crimson converse and low cut cotton shirts. Despite the saying, Ash’s appearance grew more angelic as he made his way over to a perked up friend. 

“Yes,” Eiji placed said book down with a grin. It was the one Ash had been reading the night he slept over. “You left it in my room.”

Ash didn’t look him in the eye, “Been enjoying my notes, then?”

Eiji nodded in remembrance. Ash’s comments - underlines, questions, personal quips - had been made in the margins of nearly every paragraph with a scratchy pencil. His love for the novel really added to Eiji’s own, slow, experience. “Your handwriting is terrible, though.” 

Ash huffed at the joke and twisted his shoe against the crackling asphalt. He stood suspended near the bottom of the stairs, hands in bulked pockets as a sign of careful body language. Too careful. Eiji noticed it all immediately and set the book topic aside. 

“Are you okay?” He asked. His sincerity dropped the atmosphere with a heavy jolt. 

Ash couldn’t catch a break today. 

He shot the older boy a threatening stare that intended to leave the question unanswered, but in natural Eiji stubbornness it only persuaded him to shoot one back. He wasn’t going to back down so easily, and due to previously shown vulnerabilities, the both of them knew that there was no point in lying. They hadn’t had a chance to talk about that night - that clouded dream wrapped in sunrise - yet with the way Eiji maneuvered his way around a scowl it was obvious he remembered. 

Ash’s face crumpled into that protective aggression at the realization. He turned away, “Can you stop?”

“Stop what?” 

“Stop reading me like that. Can’t you just let me be upset for once?”

There was a pause. “No.”

“No what?”

“No, I can’t let you be upset.” 

“Why not?” Ash was looking beyond this city and beyond Eiji’s company into a place of angry solitude. But the silence from the baited question made him stir out of isolation as he drew his gaze back up.

And Eiji was just smiling. 

Ash groaned in defeat. He snapped his head back up from its dramatic exasperation of annoyance and started forwards with heavy and purposeful steps. 

“Where are you going?” Eiji laughed, standing now. 

“Ibe’s home, right?” Ash didn’t look back. “Come on.”

Eiji was already bounding down the steps. “Why?”

“I need a smoke.”

****

Eiji’s father smoked. Like clock-work. 

“Delicacy of wartime.” His mother always sighed, wrinkling her nose in a knowing stare pointed at the open shoji. The smell that wafted in - the one that clung to his work jacket, that embedded itself in the hair and fingertips he passed down to Eiji, that followed him around like a trailing tail - was the smell of Mr. Okumura. 

And ever since he was little, Eiji swore against it. He’d dig his face into his father’s books that were bound by copious volumes and cough at the fading tobacco seeped into the pages. He’d hear that distant match strike in the early hours of the morning, followed by the hacks of corrupted lungs at night, and sigh in a similar disapproval like the one of his mother. Delicacy of wartime. Nasty habit of modernity.

So how did Ash make it look so cool?

“I don’t do it often.” He justified with a mutter, feeling Eiji’s stare on the cylinder bouncing between his pink frowned lips. Ash ran a hand through his growing hair, struck a thumb against a metal zippo, and kissed the tip alongside the flame. 

Eiji blushed openly. This wasn’t his father’s vice.

The two were on a swing set of a nearby park, lazily strewn out against the darkening night. It belonged to one of the nicer neighborhoods - the ones with white fenced apartments and lobby boys - four streets over from their regular stomping grounds. It was the only place Ash could think of that wouldn’t result in punishment if someone were to ask where they had been. Shorter could always cover for them, worse case scenario. 

The end of Ash’s cigarette crackled with ember as he inhaled. The steeping nicotine eased his furrowed brow back into anticipated serenity as he sighed deeply, and all of his pent-up frustrations dispersed like the smoke escaping him. 

He hadn’t been lying earlier; he wasn’t an avid smoker. In fact, he found the dependency ugly. But ever since he and Shorter swiped one of Charlie’s packs at the rioting age of twelve, he knew that there would always be a promised peace within the coughs. Shorter liked it more than Ash did, and would often bum them off Alex if his day had been bad enough, while Ash was more savory in his exceptions. He wasn’t a drinker either - neither of them were - so they allowed themselves this occasional and indulgent sin.

He took another drag and found Eiji staring. 

“Have you ever had one?” He asked, blowing a lighter strand of smoke out the corner of his mouth in decency. 

“Once.” Eiji rocked the swing against his heels in a modest motion, remembering a time of his own childish sins. He noted the peaceful way in which Ash smoked and contrasted it to his own unpleasant experience. “I think I did it wrong.”

Ash hummed and held it out, “Probably.” 

Eiji inspected the cigarette briefly but showed no hesitance in the offer. He took it between the wrong fingers, subconsciously mimicking his father’s grasp, and fumbled with it dumbly. Ash tsked.

“Don’t hold it like that. Here,” He took Eiji’s slender hand within his own and began another lesson in bad habitury. Ash adjusted the cigarette with feather-like motions until it rested between Eiji’s bended thumb and pointer finger, and only then did he realize what he was doing. He looked down.

Eiji’s bright eyes were reflecting fondly towards their entangled fingers, an orange glow from the ember drawing out those honey undertones. Thankful for the darkness, Ash drew his hand away and hoped for his obvious lingering to go unnoticed. His hopes were granted as Eiji turned sheepishly. 

“I’m going to embarrass myself.” He smiled. The roll was still in his hand, trailing up a minor wisp that promised to sting their clothes and hide beneath their tongues. Ash rocked on his own swing and shrugged.

“Probably.” He repeated. 

Eiji chuckled, “Ah.” 

“Just don’t think about it.” Ash continued. He felt a little guilty at this slight corruption of health, but at the same time the persistent gleam in Eiji’s eyes assured him that there was no pressure. He wanted to do this.

Eiji brought the corruption up to his mouth and licked his parted lips. A laugh followed his movement as he wavered slightly, “Don’t watch me.”

“Hm?” Ash didn’t move.

Still smiling, Eiji turned back over and opened his mouth once more. He placed the cigarette between his quirked lips and pressed down warmly, sucking the smoke with a heaving chest and a concentrated brow. It was a slow drag, deep and heavy, one that Ash could feel in his own buzzed head with every digested detail. Contact high.

Or perhaps that’s just what he told himself it was.

Eiji drew his hand away, dropped his shoulders with a sigh, and encased the swingset with a cloud of impressively vast smoke. The expected coughing fit of plagued beginners was replaced with just a throaty rasp as Eiji inspected the paper. 

“Weird.” 

Ash was about to ask if the older boy even liked it, but his question was answered indefinitely as Eiji ducked in for another.

“Oh,” He said after a heave. This time he coughed more fruitfully, “It burns.”

“It should,” Ash gleamed in humor. Without thinking, he grazed Eiji’s chest with a limp knuckle and pressed just beneath his tan collarbone. The movement rocked their swings. “Right here.”

Eiji nodded out another cough before smiling disappointingly, as if he failed at something. “You looked so cool doing it.”

Ash felt that euphoric sting strike his own chest. “You looked pretty cool to me.”

“Did I?”

“Yes.” Prove it. 

Eiji held his eyes defiantly and reached up once more, wrapping himself around the cigarette with such delicacy it might as well have been Ash himself. Perhaps he wanted it to be.

Now that was dangerous.

Subsequently, all of the unpleasant things Ash seemingly neglected came boiling back to the surface. The flicker in his gut was snubbed out like a spliff beneath a crushing heel, each twist harping the question: ‘How could you ever let yourself forget?’

So, he turned away. “Don’t waste it.” 

Eiji immediately recognized the change in tone. He wanted to press like he always did, but first he needed to smother that indescribable shame that was crawling up his throat. He exhaled out his concerns, then passed them onto Ash with treading fingers. 

The two smoked in silence.

Beneath the paper and tobacco that he now held, Ash could taste Eiji on the rim of his vice. The underside of his lips trembled in the faintness, and the comfort was so overwhelming he didn’t even inhale - simply just held the cigarette between his teeth. If Eiji noticed this odd behavior he didn’t show it, since all of his attention was now gathered on swinging. 

“When I was little,” He began, pumping his legs until he eased himself into little less than a fast pace. He was attempting to distract himself. “I would always try to swing over.”

“Over what?”

Eiji lifted his head to the metal bar above them. Ash looked as well and watched as the contraption swayed along to the rocking movements. 

“Did you?”

“Did I what?”

“Did you ever make it over?” Ash allowed himself a drag now, small and resting much like the conversation. Eiji swooped past with a hiking breeze.

“Nope, too scared,” He laughed, thick dark hair fanning out behind his ears. His gaze was stuck on his outstretched shoes. “Have you?”

“Have I what?”

“Have _you _ever made it over?”__

__The answer was simple - yes or no. He had or he hadn’t. Yet in order to answer, Ash had to delve into an uncertain past. ‘Have you ever made it over?’ Had he?_ _

__“Once.” He mumbled in simplicity. “It was a dare.”_ _

__“Yeah?” Eiji was slightly breathless as he slowed, easing back his legs in a stilled effort. “Was it cool?”_ _

__The sound of the squeaking metal was starting to prick at Ash’s nerves. He reached forwards and caught the chain with his free hand, earning an unwavering gasp from Eiji as he was plucked into a rocking stop. His body swayed around and Ash let him go with a simple, “Yes.”_ _

__Eiji settled himself with a digging heel. He boldly glanced over, not letting the other boy’s minorly rude disruption dim this topic. “Describe it, then.”_ _

__Ash rifled through that adrenaline ridden memory of years past. Images of Shorter’s daring glare, of pushing hands, of pumping legs that eventually carried him over… “The world spun backwards, like I was flying.”_ _

__Eiji smiled with a dimpled cheek. He made a sound of acknowledgment, like he was considering everything with sincerity, before an unfiltered thought leapt from his mouth._ _

__

__“Tell me more,” He wasn’t thinking. “About your childhood.”_ _

__

__To say that Ash immediately tensed would be an understatement. Every curve of bone, every picturesque feature, and every smooth pore ran cold. That terrified trigger ran down his back and towards his pale face, so Eiji softly interjected._ _

__“The good stuff.” He explained, a knowing look in his eye. “Just focus on the good stuff, Ash.”_ _

__But he wasn’t good. He wasn’t good at all. Ash let an unregistered sentence be pulled from his throat in a dark mutter, “I can’t.”_ _

__“Sure you can.”_ _

__“Eiji,”_ _

__“Tell me about the first time you broke the fire hydrant, then.” Every word was gentle. Grounding. “How old were you?”_ _

__Ash sighed away the ghosts of pillaging hands upon his belt and focused on those words. How old had he been? “Fourteen.”_ _

__“Who with?”_ _

__“Shorter, Alex,” He swallowed away the memory of an unwelcoming taste landing upon his tongue. “Cain.”_ _

__“Tell me.”_ _

__Every word reassured Ash the simple fact that he was no longer in Cape Cod. He was _safe _in the city that never slept - a city to which he was like until a picture was placed under his pillow.___ _

____“We broke the notch,” He was not in Cape Cod. He was perched on a swing set, “And flooded the street.” besides a lovable boy, “Charlie almost got fired, but,” who smoked so beautifully. “It was worth it.”_ _ _ _

____“How come?” Eiji. Sweet Eiji._ _ _ _

____“Because it was a good memory.” Ash finally sighed. He glanced over to those all-knowing eyes with a tremor of understanding. If he was anyone else, perhaps he’d thank him._ _ _ _

____Eiji was anyone else. “Thank you. For telling me that.”_ _ _ _

____Ash was quiet. He remembered the burning paper between his grasp in a sudden nudge and clung to it instantly, letting his final spike of nerves drench itself in nicotine._ _ _ _

____He allowed himself to be scared, then. Not of the memories or of the ghosts, but of the foreignness that came along with being comforted. Never before had he let himself be eased down like that; not with Max, or Shorter, or the faceless social worker. But now, with the treading night beneath their grasp - as opposed to a simple morning - it was as if the concept of fear was as unobtainable as the moon. And the carelessness Eiji emitted as he tossed his hair back reminded Ash that in order for the moon to shine, the sun had to be resting somewhere. Shining distantly in promise._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____So, “You tell me something.”_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Eiji looked over, “What would you like to know?” Open book. How simple must that be?_ _ _ _

____“Anything.” Everything._ _ _ _

____With the taste of cigarettes still hidden on his tongue, Eiji thought his past over with a hum. He tried to think of something that wouldn’t dampen this atmosphere even more, and that photo struck his mind with soft lighting. That seemed like a good place to start._ _ _ _

____“I was fourteen,” He began. “When I first started pole-vaulting.”_ _ _ _

____The story was not very interesting or climatic, but as Eiji delved into the details of a personal memory, Ash found himself melting back into a steady heartbeat. Everytime a Japanese word was thrown in - either from the simplicity of dialogue or from a mentioned classmate - the younger boy found himself even more invested._ _ _ _

____So when Eiji leaned forwards, Ash leaned too._ _ _ _

____“Want to know a secret?” He gleamed._ _ _ _

____Ash gave a curt nod._ _ _ _

____“I had a fear of heights,” He grinned. “Isn’t that stupid? A fear of heights.”_ _ _ _

____Ash found his lips quirk up in irony. “Yeah,” He agreed. “That is stupid.”_ _ _ _

____Pleased that Ash was joking again, Eiji giggled an afterthought and rocked his hips. “Maybe that’s why I couldn’t swing.”_ _ _ _

____“Probably.” He was too tired to filter his responses. “Are you still afraid?”_ _ _ _

____Eiji considered the fear with a tilt. The more he thought the more he gleamed in revelation, and Ash followed those dark eyes up to that metal bar above them. He had given his answer: no._ _ _ _

____Eiji inched himself back on the tips of his treading shoes and sported a blinding smile. That squeaking chain started up again as he pushed his legs forwards with effort - but Ash didn’t seem to be annoyed at the sound, now. Each teeter of the swing pulled the grinning boy higher and higher; In, out. In, out._ _ _ _

____“What if you fall?” Ash wondered with a smirk. Eiji mocked a laugh and gained another inch of air._ _ _ _

____“Then I fall!” He breathed. In, out._ _ _ _

____“Then you’re going to hurt yourself.”_ _ _ _

____“ _Then _, you’ll have to take me,” Eiji swooped higher. “To one of those American hospitals,” A gust of wind ruffled his shirt. “And pay a lot of money.”___ _ _ _

______“So you’ll have a broken arm, and I’ll be broke.” Ash quipped under another flare of his cigarette._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Uh-huh.” Eiji grunted. He tightened his white-knuckled grip on the parallel chains as a flash of fearlessness struck him - he was close now. He called down from a particularly high peak that neared a topple, “Any advice?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Ash’s fond gaze followed the curve of Eiji’s arch as it shot back down. He was quieter now, “Keep your eyes open.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji was silent in concentration as he gave one final surge. The swing groaned in weight as it successfully sped forwards and completed the motions of a circle. He had made it over. He had proved himself fearless._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Ha!” Eiji laughed as he went limp in the - now level - swing’s grip. He muttered an exasperated word, assumed to be a swear, in Japanese as he slowed. “Ah-h.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You flew.” Ash praised in scraped conviction; he was finding it hard to breathe._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Wow,” Eiji chuckled in relief as gravity took its course. He sighed wonderfully, “I always wanted to do that, Ash.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______The night now promised to stay as darkness swept them up by its shadows. Eiji’s flushed face ached from all his smiles, while Ash’s own grew tired from it’s upturned disuse. Do to this, he silently offered Eiji the final inch-worthy drag and suggested heading home._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Won’t they know?” Eiji wondered, fondling the cigarette with thin fingers._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Keep your mouth away from people,” Ash shrugged himself up out of the swing before he could even register the suggestive advice. “And you’ll be fine.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji blushed, but perhaps that was just a trick of the moonlight._ _ _ _ _ _

______Ash waited patiently for the puff to finish with his hands dug deep into his pockets. He could hear a faint cough, a final sigh, and a chain rustle as Eiji walked over with the cigarette still in hand._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Where do I put it?” He asked._ _ _ _ _ _

______“On the ground-?” Ash uttered obviously. Eiji pursed his lips._ _ _ _ _ _

______“But that’s littering.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Oh my god. “Eiji.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji touched the end of the flame where nothing but dull cinders lay. When nothing seemed to burn him, he placed the stub in his pocket. “I’ll throw it away at home.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You can’t be serious.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I can be serious,” Eiji snided. “And you wonder why this country is so dirty. So close to Independence day, too.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Ash chuckled in disbelief and turned towards the direction of home. He pointed a lazy hand to the edge of the well-trimmed playground as Eiji followed. “There’s a trash-can right over there.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’ll throw it out at home.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Are you sure? Won’t Ibe find it?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’ll throw it out at home, Ash.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Ash looked over in surprise to find Eiji stubbornly focused on the ground. A strange thought crossed the peering boy’s head; did Eiji want to keep it?_ _ _ _ _ _

______He smiled warmly at the realization. He did, didn’t he?_ _ _ _ _ _

______Ash leaned over and knocked his shoulder against Eiji’s own, igniting a teasing cry from the older boy. “What was that for?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Nothing.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______They could be so boyish sometimes._ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW - sexual assault of a minor, past abuse, underage smoking
> 
> ****
> 
> ahh this chapter came so effortlessly. i put this as a tag already, but i am definitely projecting in this story (lol) and for some reason i just started crying while writing this?? i'm treating ao3 as therapy that's embarrassing
> 
> anyways i love you all sm for sticking with my story. i never expected to get any recognition for this little neighborhood, and it means so much to hear from you all. as a treat i gave y'all some cigarette-innuendo-flirting which just proves nothing but how weak i am when it comes to slow burns. i have something prepared for the next chapter's "fourth of july" too, so medium burn at best.
> 
> stay safe and stay loved <3


	6. Fourth of July

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " Oh could I be the sky on the Fourth of July?  
> ... Sitting at the bed with the halo at your head,  
> Was it all a disguise? "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome back! 
> 
> im really proud of this one, so thank you all for being patient. and thank you A for editing once again!
> 
> for this chapter i am going to be putting the TW here since it gets a little bit more descriptive (when it comes to ash's personal struggles not the abuse itself)
> 
> happy reading<3
> 
> ****  
> TW: talk of abuse, heavy language

The dreams were all the same.

The smell of Cape Cod - a crisp wind carrying sea salt, seafood shacks, baseball pitches and gunpowder - always came first. This perfume of the past suffocated Ash, and soon the images that coincided with each memory rolled in like waves crashing against those familiar rocky shores. He could drown in these feelings if he succumbed to it - if he gave up. Being swept away by the tide always seemed easier than surviving it. 

But then came the ghosts, who advanced across his body with sharp fingernails that dug crescent moons into his wrists. On better nights he’d become conscious here, on worse nights he’d jolt awake with the crack of a bat where a gunshot should be. Then he’d cry out, or cry silently, or claw for an ounce of wellness between a pillow. Survivors guilt, they called it. But nightmares felt easier to say. 

With age, Ash found solace in control. He could settle his breath on his own, lie to everyone that he was better, and return those sympathetic gazes with his own aggressive stare the next morning. He had accepted the fact that no doctor or caring hand could help him, and that every dream would be a memory of his wicked past - no matter how much he resisted it.

Until, of course, Eiji showed up.

Because with every stolen glance and shared smile, a piece of Ash’s heart broke further, and while it was to make room for Eiji’s company, it also gave those terrible memories the ability to suffocate him again. But he still slept over. He still gripped that photo. 

Because the risk was always worth it.

And when he returned home from smoking on the swing-set, Ash had fallen asleep to the warmth of Eiji’s lingering presence as comfort. So instead of crescent moon grips or sea salt waves, Ash dreamt of parted lips and delicate folding fingers. 

These were the things that normal teenagers dreamt of, not killers. 

Yet they were things that scared him just as easily.

“Ash,” a small finger poked his cheek. “Ah-sh.”

“Don’t touch him, Micheal.” A womanly voice warned. The sound of a pulling curtain rang harshly against the empty room as a brightness enveloped the walls. “You know what happened last time.”

Ash groaned against the light and Micheal bounded away in fear. 

“Alright,” Jessica crossed the room with folded arms, clearly unbothered. “Max needs your help with the grill.”

“What time is it?” Ash managed with his best growl. He was about to bark them away, but a pressing feeling in his loins chased away any aggression and replaced it with adolescent embarrassment. He lay asleep on his stomach, thankfully hidden, and gripped his pillow at the memories of last night's dream. 

“Nine-ish.” Jessica continued. She noticed the flicker of horror in those green eyes and replaced her tone with concern. “Everything okay?”

“M-hm.” Ash buried himself deeper into his covers. 

“Are you dreaming again?” 

“No,” Oh god. “Tell Max to cool it, I’ll be down in a minute.” 

“Can we play with firecrackers later?” Micheal asked before Jessica shushed him. She shot one final glance in Ash’s direction - she’ll never stop worrying about that kid - and nudged them both out of the room with pushing hands. 

“Breakfast is on the counter.” She called before clicking the door shut. 

Ash sighed. 

This was normal. Waking up in these states, pining, having a wandering hand - normal. He was seventeen, after all. 

Yet for all these growing years, Ash couldn't relish in his normality due to the simple fact that it was tainted by that selfish man. A man who had given Ash one option in order to prevent his actions from resurfacing: chastity. Curse the fist, love the bruise, and accept being permanently broken. 

So why did he feel like crying, now? Why was there a lump in his throat at the feeling of a knot in his gut?

Perhaps it was because he was seventeen, he was normal, and he was healing. Whether he was ready to or not.

****

“Don’t curse in front of the kid, Alex.”

“He’s heard worse.”

“I’m fourteen you fuck!”

Eiji laughed. 

The gang was spread out across the steps of the Lobo house, relaxing in the smell of wafting grills and melted firepops that dripped onto their fingers. The entire neighborhood was outside today as well, sporting red, white, and blue smiles of celebrated patriotism. Eiji couldn’t believe an entire country settled for three designated colors, but he loved it all just the same. 

On the nearby communal sidewalk, the adults mingled underneath cans of beer that - naturally - some of the more bolder boys pocketed whenever they got a chance. Max stoked a grill with his tongs as he chatted away, only breaking from his chuckle to turn over the first batch of assorted meats. 

“Ash!” He called from over his shoulder. “Need your help.”

Eiji perked up and watched as Ash made his reluctant way over, the flannel he tied loosely around his jeans wafting slightly in motion. The blonde leaned down as Max gave instructions, nodding softly in understanding. He reached over for a stack of paper plates before he noticed Eiji’s stare with a glance of his own. 

A sting rang in both their chests - unpleasantly compared to the one of that cigarette.

Because ever since Eiji walked over with Ibe earlier that afternoon, Ash made a point of avoiding him. Green eyes would shoot down to his red shoes, voices would grow cold, and excuses of departure were thrown around anytime the two were left alone. Even now with everyone around, Ash remained distanced and closed-off. Obviously Eiji could break down that stubbornness with ease, but it seemed like Ash wasn’t even giving him the chance. 

“I wouldn’t worry about him.” 

Eiji looked over his shoulder to find Shorter smirking beneath a discreet can. He was perched a step above Eiji, and his hidden stare was pointed in allusion to Ash. 

“Does he get like this often?” Eiji wondered. Suddenly an open Pabst Blue Ribbon slipped into his hand. 

“M-m. Drink up.” 

“Lynx used to fuckin’ scare me, man,” A deep voice eased in. Eiji turned further to find Kong shamelessly contributing to the conversation. “It’s like he gets his monthly’s or somethin’.” 

“Lynx?” Eiji asked. He brought the stolen can up to his lips to take a bitter sip. 

“Ah-h, that’s right. He doesn’t know the story, eh?” Kong laughed. Shorter shot him a look before turning back to Eiji.

“It’s not a flattering one.” He pressed. 

“What do you mean?” Alex added through his own eavesdropping quip. He had a mouthful of bright yellow gum - stolen from Shorter - that he smacked with every syllable. “It’s badass.” 

“I’m surprised he hasn’t told you yet, Eiji.” Kong continued. “Scared me shitless when it first went down.”

“When what went down?” Now Sing was involved, bounding back on Eiji’s step with a new firepop in hand. He looked around as he fumbled with the wrapper. “What’s up?”

“The Lynx story.” The three of them said in unison. 

“Oh-h!” 

“I still don’t know what you’re talking about,” Eiji chided. He handed the cold can back over to Shorter - he’d stick to cigarettes for now - but the pass was intercepted by a plucking Kong. They fought over the can with a laugh. 

“I’ll tell it, I was there anyway.” Alex shrugged against the chatter. He sat up with effort and raised a brow. “You know what a dick is, right?”

Eiji blinked. “I hope so?”

The group laughed. 

“Anyway,” Alex continued with a chuckle. “This guy in our grade, Arthur, right? Complete and total dick.”

“Total dick.” Kong confirmed. 

“And so this was in what, middle school? When did Arthur start hangin’ with those assholes?”

“Freshman year.” Shorter corrected. He leaned down and added more quietly into Eiji’s ear to explain, “We were fifteen.”

“So this freshman dick was just with hangin’ out with the wrong people, y’know?”

“Sure.” 

“Sure, okay. Well he started giving Ash shit about what happened in Cape Cod, fucker can read a newspaper surprisingly, and spread all these nasty rumors around. Dickhead. Oh, did Ash even tell you what happened in Cape-”

“Long story short,” Shorter interrupted sharply. He shot Alex a communicative glance that didn’t go unnoticed. “Arthur stepped where he shouldn’t have and got his ass kicked in. That’s all you had to say, Alex.”

“It was wicked.” Bones added. Up until this point he had his nose stuck in his beeping Gameboy, but now he too was wrapped up in this retelling of the past. “Blood everywhere. On school grounds, too!” 

“Ash did?” Eiji wondered, slightly whiplashed from the way this story was being told. The fast-paced group all nodded. 

“I wish I could’ve seen it.” Sing mumbled through lips that were now stained blue. 

“Around school, people started calling him Lynx,” Alex added with a smack of a yellow bubble. “It was a weak fuckin’ nickname, and we mostly just give him shit for it now, but I bet some of our classmates don’t even know his real one.”

Eiji swallowed away the lingering taste of beer that boiled on his tongue. This all felt like a fable from a child’s bedtime story, an exaggerated tale from the past. And the more Eiji stared at that blonde figure of conversation - “Lynx” - from across the street, he found every word harder and harder to believe.

‘Blood everywhere.’ 

Eiji couldn’t fathom it. Couldn’t wrap his head around the image of those wide eyes open in violence. Those eyes were the ones that crinkled when he smiled, or glistened when he smoked, or fluttered when he woke. But they were also the eyes that grew watery in fear, that shut closed when he hugged, that held a horrid past beneath every blink of emerald. Eiji saw glimpses of this Ash whenever he talked about his nightmares, and for some reason he assumed that whatever Arthur teased him about had something to do with those memories. 

Now the only thing he could think of was how sweet that last name sounded upon his tongue - Callenreese - and how he longed to taste it like he once did. But beer was replaced with bile as Eiji turned to ask that heart beating question: 

“What happened in Cape Cod?”

****

“Ah-h, don’t cry, okay?” 

Micheal sniffed and ran a chubby fist across his streaming lashes. Eiji smiled up at him and thumbed another bandaid out of its white wrapper, managing in his softest voice to ease those strangled sobs away. 

“You’re so brave,” He cooed, adjusting his knees against the hot pavement as he inspected the scrape. “I would always throw a fit whenever I fell on a landing. Did you know I pole-vaulted?”

Micheal mumbled out a hesitant no that threatened to teeter into another cry. So Eiji continued with his story, placing the bandage horizontal in a criss-cross pattern against the bruised shin. 

“I fell a lot at first, and once I missed the pit completely! I still have a scar on my hip from where I landed.” 

Micheal’s glossy eyes grew wide for a moment. “Did you cry?”

“Oh, of course.” Eiji grinned. “You stuck the landing better than I ever could, though.”

Around them, the neighborhood shone under the light of the afternoon as talk for tonight’s fireworks grew nearer. The excitement was so distracting, infact, Micheal had failed to remember that laces needed to be tied in order to play a game of tag. He ended up colliding with the pavement in a wail that halted the mood momentarily and called for everyone’s spinning heads. Eiji was the first to reach his side, Jessica following suit with a first aid kit in hand, and in that quick moment Ash had stepped forwards too - his protective instincts clouding any initial response to avoid Eiji. 

His presence loomed over the both of them as he stood nearby and watched.

“There you go, all better.” Eiji tapped the freshly dressed wound and looked up. “よくやった!”

Micheal blinked at him before quivering a smile, “What?”

“Well done! _Yoku yatta _.” Eiji repeated. “Try it.”__

__“Yoku yatta.” Micheal mimicked through a weak laugh._ _

__“See? You’ll be fluent in no time,” Eiji stood up and helped the young boy stand. “Now watch your shoes, okay?”_ _

__“Okay.”_ _

__“Micheal,” Jessica perked. “What do you say?”_ _

__“Thank you, Eiji!” He bounded, half distracted by a flailing Skipper who held up two icecream cones at the end of the block. Micheal waved and chased off any leftover pain with a sprint back into youth._ _

__Eiji returned the gesture with a chuckle._ _

__“You’re a natural,” Jessica commented after sending another scold towards her rowdy child. “I’ll let you know if we’re short a sitter.”_ _

__“Isn’t there a block full of them?” Eiji smirked, pocketing the crumples of trash and glancing over to that blonde figure. He met those green eyes for a much needed moment before they both mutually pulled away._ _

__Jessica laughed off his joke and turned back towards the adults, calling one final jolt from over her shrugging shoulder, “Can’t have kids lookin’ after kids!”_ _

__A warm feeling of budding family blossomed in Eiji’s chest, but it was shattered all the same as he acknowledged the boy nearby. Ash still wouldn’t look at him._ _

__“I think he should be the one to tell you.” Shorter had said just hours earlier. The topic of Cape Cod was obviously taboo upon the group, yet with the looks that were shot around it was obvious that Eiji’s terrible assumptions had been confirmed. He didn’t need to know the details - horrid as they may be - because above all it wasn’t fear that was resting in his heart. It was empathy._ _

__So he took a breath and walked over._ _

__“Don’t,” Eiji instructed as he neared. He sported his best authoritative face as he pressed on, “Don’t run away from me this time.”_ _

__Ash glared at him for a moment before stiffening down once more. The two stood against the sidewalk on the empty end of the neighborhood, where nothing more than a murmur was needed in order to be heard over the jeering cries. Other than the few stray kids that ran across the pavement in a violent game of tag, Ash and Eiji settled beneath that private atmosphere. They were silent for what seemed like ages._ _

__Ash spoke first, “You’re good with him.”_ _

__Surprised at both the topic and sudden communication - yet incredibly thankful for it - Eiji avoided Ash’s gaze with a shy mutter, “You heard all that?”_ _

__Ash nodded. If Eiji were to look up at him, he would have caught a glimpse of a familiar spark cradling that pale face._ _

__“You got a scar on your hip?”_ _

__Eiji flustered out a chuckle, “Yeah, actually.”_ _

__“How bad?”_ _

__“Uh-h,” He looked down to his left hip bone and held up two fingers against it. He showed Ash the inch long space between his thumb and pointer. “‘Bout that big.”_ _

__A tint of pink grazed those ears, “Nasty fall?”_ _

__“Yeah,” Eiji treaded lightly. He wanted to keep this banter going. “You got any?”_ _

__Ash huffed out a humorous breath and started to roll up disheveled articles of clothing - from sleeves to cuffs to exposed midriffs - all while murmuring softly in explanation to each one. “Shorter broke a window. Fire escape gave way. Kitchen duty. Drunk.”_ _

__“Drunk?”_ _

__“I don’t remember.” Ash allowed himself a smirk as he trailed off. “I just know it showed up after Alex’s party.”_ _

__“Can’t imagine how wild that got.” Eiji smiled back, memories of that chestnut haired boy waving slightly in his mind. He tilted his head in an after-thought, “I never saw you as a drinker, though.”_ _

__“I don’t do it often.”_ _

__“Heard that one before.”_ _

__“You’re one to talk, I saw you swig Shorter’s Pabst earlier.”_ _

__“So you _were _watching me,” Eiji gleamed with the upper hand. It was meant to be a taunt, but simply the thought of Ash unknowingly watching him made Eiji’s stomach flip. He settled into that feeling with a courageous sly, “I think I’ll stick to cigarettes from now on, though.”___ _

____“I think we both should.”_ _ _ _

____Everything fell right into place. For a moment, anyway._ _ _ _

____Then Ash grew stiff once more - as if he realized something grim - and his demeanor switched back into that expected bitterness. Eiji watched this all through a furrowed brow, wanting nothing more than to ease that scowl away with his regular comforting hands. But for now - since the entire neighborhood could see them through a squint - he just gave a light sigh, turned forwards as well, and sat upon the curb._ _ _ _

____It took Ash a couple seconds to come down, but eventually he scuffed his shoes out against the black pavement as well._ _ _ _

____So there they sat in simmering anticipation as the unsaid conversation tipped on their tongues. Eiji sought it best that Ash were to speak first, despite the growing sense of dread in the pit of his gut, so perhaps all he needed was a push towards it._ _ _ _

____He opened his mouth but Ash beat him to it._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____“Are you gay?”_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Eiji let a surprised sound ripple out of his throat. Well._ _ _ _

____His loud heart felt like a ticking clock as he tried to scrape together an answer. He knew what that word meant - due to medical headlines and curious library visits - yet Eiji never felt like he belonged to it. That label felt too vague considering the fact that he’s never lingered in a locker room or denied pursuits from girls. Then again, it was defined by men who liked men, and didn’t he feel well-liked by this boy?_ _ _ _

____The silence weighed heavy._ _ _ _

____“No,” Eiji decided, his tone of voice betraying his reply. It sounded like he was unsure of himself, which didn’t help his case. “No, I’m not.”_ _ _ _

____“Okay.”_ _ _ _

____The silence grew thicker. Eiji could hear an ocean in his ears._ _ _ _

____So, “Are you?”_ _ _ _

____“Gay?”_ _ _ _

____“Uh, yeah - ”_ _ _ _

____“No.” Ash’s answer was quick, too quick, to have been honest. He turned back over and for some reason Eiji’s heart sank a little deeper._ _ _ _

____“Okay.”_ _ _ _

____Life had made a bad liar out of both of them._ _ _ _

____“Why are you asking?” Eiji let himself murmur, once again fumbling around this conversation and around his denim hems. His beating heart allowed for him to be completely transparent with his words - there was nothing to hide when the color of your cheeks gave it all away._ _ _ _

____Ash seemed to have this honesty as well, “Do you dream, Eiji?”_ _ _ _

____Eiji blinked. He was tired of getting jerked around from all these topic changes. Was this just how Americans talked?_ _ _ _

____“Of course I do.”_ _ _ _

____There was another pause in discussion as Ash adjusted his position. He brought his knees up and rested his bended elbows across them, interlacing his fingers in a nervous habit of his own. It was strange to say that Eiji was jealous of how those hands clasped together - he wished to seize them himself. Phantom pains, perhaps._ _ _ _

____“What kind of dreams?” Ash willed._ _ _ _

____Naturally, Eiji had assumed that this was just another conversation about those persistent nightmares. But now it seemed that there was something lurking beneath that cold voice - something unfamiliar and raw. So despite the quake still harping in his chest, Eiji tried to be as nonchalant as possible._ _ _ _

____“Well, all sorts.” He leaned back on his palms. “I don’t remember a lot of them, though.”_ _ _ _

____Ash hesitated. He never hesitated. “Do you ever…”_ _ _ _

____Eiji leaned forwards in interest. Ash swallowed in fear._ _ _ _

____“Do you ever have,” He scraped together courage. “Good dreams, Eiji?”_ _ _ _

____“Good dreams?”_ _ _ _

____“Yes.” Ash was the color of his shoes._ _ _ _

____“I mean,” Eiji straddled confusion. “I don’t have just bad ones.”_ _ _ _

____Ash laughed out a bundle of nerves that had been coiled in his chest. Eiji then assumed that he was innocently clueless towards this subject._ _ _ _

____The blonde ran a fidgeting thumb across his knuckles once more. A smile was still perked upon his lips in soft explanation, “Not like that, Eiji.”_ _ _ _

____Oh. “Oh.”_ _ _ _

____“Oh.” Ash repeated. He closed his eyes in an embarrassed realization as to what was just asked. “God, sorry. That was a stupid fucking question.”_ _ _ _

____“No, it’s alright,” Eiji chuckled out his own flush. “It's not a bad thing, I guess.”_ _ _ _

____Ash didn’t say anything, but the shaky sigh he emitted might as well have asked: It’s not?_ _ _ _

____Any other time Eiji would have stuttered his way out of juvenile embarrassment, but there was something tender about this whole thing. Whether it was because of Ash’s past or the way in which he now carried himself, it didn’t matter. Eiji felt encouraged to press on either way._ _ _ _

____“Life doesn’t have to be all nightmares, Ash.”_ _ _ _

____It was a strangely philosophical thing to say considering the topic, but it seemed to do the trick._ _ _ _

____“You should stitch that on a pillow.” Ash mused after a considerate pause._ _ _ _

____Eiji let out a surprised laugh that eased away any lingering tension. “Is that what you call a joke, American boy?”_ _ _ _

____“I thought that was obvious, Martha Stewart.”_ _ _ _

____The two shared an intimate smile that said a million things - yet only one was spoken out loud:_ _ _ _

____“I’m starving.”_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____ _ _

____****_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____ _ _

____The night had ended with a crackle of lights and smoke._ _ _ _

____Everyone packed away their leftover items of the day - grills, coolers, wrappers, and empty poppers - when the final firework fizzled out into darkness. Kids were carried home by their slightly tipsy parents, teens all gathered by designated steps to discreetly finish their passed spliff, and Ash sat with Eiji on a curbside._ _ _ _

____“That was fun!” Eiji whispered through an excited hush. Micheal - who had instantly raced over to sit on Eiji’s lap once the show began - grumbled meekly in his arms as he fought sleep._ _ _ _

____“M-hm.” Ash agreed, despite the fact he hadn’t looked at the sky once. Because ever since Eiji carried his first sparkler that purpling evening, the dancing lights around his face called for Ash’s complete devotion. He’d never seen that honey shade so prominent before, and now all those saturated colors seemed dull unless they were held in Eiji’s reflection._ _ _ _

____And if Eiji noticed the staring, he didn’t seem to mind._ _ _ _

____“I bet it’s nothing like Japan’s, though.” Ash continued with a stretch and a sigh. Eiji shook his head in confirmation as the small boy stirred once more._ _ _ _

____“No, not even close,” Eiji lifted them both off the ground with a heave. “But I loved it all the same.”_ _ _ _

____Ash followed with a fond smile shot in Micheal’s direction. The boy now drowsily nuzzled against Eiji’s neck as he clung, chubby fists bunched around that anchoring shirt._ _ _ _

____Ash let himself shamelessly wonder what that must feel like._ _ _ _

____“People keep telling me I’m good with kids.” Eiji said in false understanding when he met Ash’s gaze. He adjusted his grip. “Who knows? Maybe I’ll be a good dad someday.”_ _ _ _

____“Or housewife.”_ _ _ _

____“One would be so lucky.”_ _ _ _

____They proceeded over to the Lobo’s fort where a majority of the gang still lounged. Earlier, the rebellious group had bombarded the street with smacked poppers and loose sparklers that - naturally - they used to attack each other with. Max had scolded at the sight, but he’d been promptly ignored with the echoed pop of another bomb. Now, the gang all lay with turned heads as the rest of their party neared._ _ _ _

____But before the two breezed within earshot, Eiji muttered Ash’s name with a treading plea. Ash turned immediately._ _ _ _

____That supple Japanese face now reflected orange hues as the streetlamps flickered on above them. Despite the dim lighting, Ash still swore Eiji sparkled like the fireworks itself. Those shadowed lips folded in gripped thought._ _ _ _

____“I don’t care. About your past.”_ _ _ _

____Ash’s tongue ran dry._ _ _ _

____“I don’t care about a lot of things.” Eiji continued, sensing that shift. He met Ash’s gaze with another striking stare. “But I care about you. And I know you could have guessed that, but … I just needed you to hear me say it.”_ _ _ _

____Fireworks. Ash swore it._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____“I care about you, too.”_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Eiji hid his shy smile against Micheal’s hair and thought for another moment._ _ _ _

____“Ash?”_ _ _ _

____“Hm?”_ _ _ _

____Eiji stepped forwards and laced his free hand between Ash’s own - the movement like fire between them. He gave a gentle squeeze and forced their gazes together._ _ _ _

____“My windows are always open.” He whispered. Hesitation struck his cheeky smirk as he rippled through the tenderness, “Even if you have good dreams.”_ _ _ _

____Ash had never laughed so freely, “Fuck off.”_ _ _ _

____Eiji slipped his hand away with a grin and started forwards._ _ _ _

____“Bring your own sheets though, yeah?”_ _ _ _

____“Okumura!” Shorter called from across the way, a tipsy tone indicating that he had stolen several beers tonight. A knowing gleam flickered underneath those useless sunglasses, “You sick of Ash yet?”_ _ _ _

____Eiji gave those green eyes one final glance from over his shoulder, “Almost!”_ _ _ _

____Ash scoffed._ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im a sucker for banter what can i say. 
> 
> sorry if this one was kind of all over the place ?? it was so hard for me to write - i ended up with multiple drafts and hated nearly all of them lol. but i have the next couple already planned out and im sick of slow burn so we're gonna be speeding it up a little (this story is definitely going to be more than ten chapters)
> 
> anyway i love you all sm, every comment and kudos is appreciated you have no idea. 
> 
> see y'all next week  
> stay safe and stay loved <3


	7. Pink in the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " I glow pink in the night  
> ... And I know I've kissed you before, but  
> I didn't do it right  
> Can I try again? "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello and welcome back!
> 
> sorry for the late update - i hope you guys will see why it took so long. i wanted this to be absolutely perfect, so get cozy!!
> 
> happy reading<3

“Eiji,”

“Mm..”

“You’re drooling on the table.”

“I don’t care.” 

Ash snickered with a bended elbow and supporting palm. Beside him, the older boy pressed a plump cheek against the wood and fluttered those dark eyelashes shut in exhaustion. 

The two sat in the corner booth of the Wong’s restaurant, where the sounds of an oscillating fan and occasional kitchen clatter lay beneath the morning silence. It was early, and only a few customers had wandered in to enjoy a quiet brunch so far. Due to the boring shift, Shorter had been annoyingly persistent that at least _some _friends came to keep him company. The restaurant had always been a consistent place to hangout - where everyone would do schoolwork in between cleaning tables and sneaking food from the back - so it was no surprise that Ash took him up on the offer. Summer could be a bore sometimes.__

__So there they were - sitting upon red leather seats and clinging to the fresh smell of wafting spices._ _

__“What did you do to him?” an apron-wearing Shorter asked as he approached the table. He placed two glasses of ice water down, startling Eiji with a clink._ _

__“He didn’t get much sleep last night.” Ash explained in truth. They had slept over together at Eiji’s yesterday, and only when the sun seeped into the curtains did they realize how long their conversation had gone on. Ash was used to sleepless nights, Eiji wasn’t, thus a restaurant table replaced a pillow._ _

__“Ah, because of you?” Shorter smiled._ _

__Ash lifted his gaze up sharply at the interpretation of his words, “Don’t.”_ _

__Shorter opened his mouth in anticipation of another sexual joke - but the sound of the dinging front door beat him to it. He groaned inwardly._ _

__“Welcome! Sit anywhere.” He pepped at the arriving elderly couple. They nodded and made their way to the far side as he continued, “I’ll take your order in a minute, folks.”_ _

__“I hate watching you work,” Ash mumbled as he brought the glass up to his lips. “You’re all respectful and shit, ‘s weird.”_ _

__“You’re one to talk,” Shorter tilted his head in allusion to the sleeping boy below them. Ash closed his eyes and ignored the taunt with a gulp of water. He was right of course - he had turned down his stubbornness lately - but it didn’t need to be addressed._ _

__“Either way,” He swallowed, “You sound like an ass when you speak to customers.”_ _

__“It brings in the tips you dick.”_ _

__Eiji grumbled._ _

__“Yo, kid,” Shorter ruffled those dark locks as he walked off once more - he did have a job to do, “Nappin’s bad for business.”_ _

__Eiji made a deep sound and drew his gaze up to Ash. Thanks to Shorter’s tousling hand, his hair now bursted in a thousand different fluffy directions. With that, his half lidded eyes, and the deep pools of purple beneath them, Eiji might as well have been sleeping in his warm bed._ _

__So perhaps that’s why Ash wanted to press himself up against the other like he did when they first shared those sheets. Wanted to fix those messy bangs so they lay in order and he could see those eyes in full. Wanted to run circles around his arching back to help soothe sleep._ _

__But he couldn’t. At least not here._ _

__Maybe never._ _

__“I think we should spend a few nights alone,” Ash proposed softly. Eiji made a face._ _

__“Why?” His ample lips pursed against the table._ _

__“Because,” Ash chuckled, “Look at yourself.”_ _

__Eiji grumbled once more and lifted his head - displaying a light pink mark pressed across his cheek that Ash had the decency not to point out. “You’re the one who keeps sneaking over.”_ _

__“Hm. Yeah, I guess.”_ _

__“You guess.” Eiji mocked as he reached for a glass. “Is this mine?”_ _

__Ash nodded and watched as Eiji began to drink. His Adam’s apple bobbed against his tan throat with every gulp, and Ash found himself shifting in his seat. The water slipped down with a sigh._ _

__“Why don’t I just come over to yours?” Eiji perked as he placed the now empty cup against the wood._ _

__“Aren’t you worried about Ibe?”_ _

__“I can lock my door. And leave at night.”_ _

__“What about the noise?”_ _

__“I’ll be fine, I think.”_ _

__“It’s not easy.”_ _

__“Is your room a mess or something?” Eiji smiled. “All these excuses.”_ _

__Ash smiled too and nudged him with his foot. “No. I just don’t want you to get grounded again.”_ _

__“No-o,” Eiji thought. “You act all worried about me, but I think it’s the room. You’re hiding something.”_ _

__“Yup,” Ash ridiculed. “I haven’t cleaned it in years. Can’t even see the floor.”_ _

__“Knew it.”_ _

__With a string of muttered curses announcing his arrival, Shorter made his way back to the table with an interrupting stride. Ash and Eiji turned away from each other to give their friend a glance._ _

__“I hate morning shifts.” The bright haired boy growled. He slid into the seat across from them and pressed Ash’s half-full drink against his lips, ignoring the sounds of casual protest._ _

__“I better get a refill on that.” Ash warned after his dismissed objection. Shorter shot a vulgar finger in the air._ _

__“Remind me to give Nadia shit for not fixing the goddamn AC.” Shorter moaned with a click of the cup. He slouched against the leather and pinched his sweaty brow. “Do you have a pack on you, Ash?”_ _

__“Yes,” He answered, noting the look Eiji subtly gave him. “But you don’t get any.”_ _

__“C’mon, just one.”_ _

__“Get Eiji and I coffee first, and then I’ll think about it.”_ _

__“Ugh, fine.” Shorter slid out of the booth. “Blonde fucker.”_ _

__“Bald addict.”_ _

__“I’m not even bald.”_ _

__“Not yet.”_ _

__Eiji laughed. After a considerate pause following the swinging of the kitchen dutch door, he turned once more to address Ash._ _

__“You’re seventeen, right?” He asked, recalling a previous late night conversation where they both had given their ages._ _

__“Eighteen soon.” Ash furrowed his brow. “Why?”_ _

__Eiji tapped Ash’s pocket with the hand that lay between them, bumping the rectangular carton in his denim. “You buy these legally?”_ _

__Ash smirked and shook his head. “Nope.”_ _

__“Figured,” He smiled again. “You look like you could pull it off, though. I never could.”_ _

__“What’s the age limit for Japan?”_ _

__“Twenty. I knew the cashier would be able to tell that I was seventeen, so I never even tried. Just stole one from my father.”_ _

__“Makes sense.” Ash reclined against the seat and slung an arm across the backboard, preparing for a story.  
“In America it’s eighteen, so Shorter can technically buy all he wants now that he can. But I think he’s too broke, or just likes bummin’ them off me or Alex._ _

__“There’s a corner store that doesn’t card,” he continued, remembering how Eiji mentioned a cashier. “Slick your hair back, lower your voice, and it works nearly every time.”_ _

__“Nearly?”_ _

__“Well,” He shrugged, remembering all those sudden sprints down blazing sidewalks. “Run fast.”_ _

__“Ha.” Eiji thought for a moment in consideration of the advice. “But does the hair thing really work?”_ _

__Ash hummed, bent his head down, and swiped his golden bangs up behind his head. He held them there as he shot Eiji a raised brow._ _

__“What do you think?”_ _

__Eiji smiled - thoroughly looking him over with a dimpled cheek. It was the same type of fascination that crossed his face when the two first met, and it felt just as new to Ash. There was something in his eyes that could melt the heart of any renegade._ _

__“You look all American.” He declared fondly._ _

__Ash dropped his hands and chuckled - seemingly at Eiji’s words, but also because there was a flutter in his gut that needed to be expressed. He watched with his own inspecting eyes as Eiji pressed his dark hair down flat and shot him a look. He was expecting his own opinion._ _

__“Hm,” Ash noted. There was another flutter. “You look like a greaser.”_ _

__Eiji’s eyes sparkled for a moment before his hair fell back onto his forehead. “Cool,” was all he said._ _

__“But you don’t need to do that, you know.” Ash suddenly missed that water. “I give Shorter shit for it, but I can always spot you.”_ _

__“You sure?”_ _

__“M-hm.”_ _

__“Cool.” Eiji said again. “When in Rome.”_ _

__The kitchen door banged loudly against the wall as Shorter breezed in once more, carrying a coffee pot in one hand and two cups in the other. He didn’t seem to bother being a decent employee as he clanged the three things down across the table with carelessness. He shot Ash a look._ _

__“Pay up.”_ _

__“I think you should go cold turkey.” Ash quipped as he dug around his jeans. “Need a lighter?”_ _

__“Nope.” Shorter snagged the box as soon as it was visible and stormed back into the kitchen, ignoring the Chinese scold that was shot in his direction with his own fading declaration, “I’m on my break!”_ _

__The two laughed at their fiending friend as Ash fumbled with the coffee. He poured Eiji’s first._ _

__“How do you take it?” He asked._ _

__“Oh,” Eiji stated, wrapping his hands around the mug only to peer down. “However you do, I guess.”_ _

__“I take it black.” he warned._ _

__“That’s okay.”_ _

__A realization struck Ash with a slow quip, “You’ve never had coffee before, have you?”_ _

__“Am I that obvious?” Eiji sighed. He brought the cup up to his lips only to stop once he caught Ash watching. “What?”_ _

__“Just wanna see if you’ll like it.”_ _

__Eiji looked away and teetered the cup to take a first drink. Ash laughed immediately._ _

__“Too bitter?” He trailed. Eiji unscrewed his face and hummed out a thought._ _

__“Another first.”_ _

__

__

__****_ _

__

__

__Ash sat down on his busted fire escape with a fresh cigarette bouncing between his teeth. It wasn’t lit yet, simply just poised in his mouth like a fidgeting thought - rallying up and down as he clenched and unclenched his jaw. He was nervous._ _

__He could ease into the teasing and say it was because of his room, or that it was because he was worried for Eiji. But those just felt like excuses. Excuses to the feeling he hadn’t been able to place ever since those brown shoes slung out of that moving truck. He didn’t know what to do with it, and it showed itself in odd, juvenile places. Now, it appeared in the dents of his chewed up cigarette as he rolled the paper around._ _

__How was this any different to last night, he wondered. How was this any different from the fourth of July, or the swingset, or the morning he was given that photo?_ _

__He didn’t have any answers - just memories._ _

__“I’ll be over later,” Eiji had said when the two left the restaurant that afternoon. Maybe it was the way he said it that made it so different - a quiet conviction that only Ash could hold. He was used to being the bad influence, but now it seemed that Eiji was more than willing to play the part._ _

__When in Rome._ _

__“Do as the Romans do,” Ash muttered in completion of the thought. He wondered where Eiji had heard that provocative phrase and how he knew when to use it. Maybe they have proverbs in Japan, too._ _

__But “later” was what he was really curious about. How soon was later?_ _

__Ash bit down on the tobacco seeping cylinder - he could be such a child sometimes. Perhaps that was a good thing, since he’s denied himself that flaw for so long. Maybe that’s what made him fidget - the foreignness of feeling like an impatient teenager._ _

__It was nearly midnight, Eiji was running late, and Ash felt like a little kid._ _

__But maybe his intuition was better than he perceived it to be._ _

__“Ah-sh!”_ _

__He nearly swallowed that cigarette whole._ _

__“Fuck - ” Ash looked down in between the spaces of the metal stairs to find a familiar boy glancing up at him. He caught his breath with a sigh, “Eiji.”_ _

__“See? I’m quiet.” Eiji whispered proudly. His crooked smile grew against the night’s shadows, “Did I scare you?”_ _

__“No,” Ash lied. “Get up here - before someone sees you.”_ _

__There was a weighted silence that spoke volumes._ _

__“You can’t reach, can you?”_ _

__“Ash!”_ _

__“Alright, alright.”_ _

__Ash tucked the vice behind his ear and leaned across the rail, encouraging Eiji to reach up with his own outstretched hands. The two molded against each other's grips and combined their strained efforts to lift, eventually pulling those brown shoes off the ground with a collective heave. But in order to slither his way across the barrier, Eiji had to wrap his arms around Ash’s neck in a thoughtless process. Ash’s own hands slid down across that slender back._ _

__Luckily, his room was only on the second floor and it wasn’t that strenuous. Unluckily, there was something inexplicably funny about the whole thing._ _

__Because Eiji began to laugh._ _

__“Eiji,” Ash scolded, teetering into a smile that contradicted his words. “It’s not funny.”_ _

__Eiji pressed his head against Ash’s shoulder to muffle the breathy sounds escaping his grin. Ash found himself chuckling in between shushes as he continued to pull around Eiji’s waist._ _

__“Stop it,” His words tripped against his laughing whisper. “Stop, someone’s gonna hear.”_ _

__And as if fate decided to intervene, Eiji’s foot clanged against the metal - an ironic turn of events. The loud sound set them off into another fit - gasps, hushes, and hiking laughter melting into one collective breath. Their sides began to ache the longer they held each other on the rusting balcony._ _

__Eiji was the first to settle - rolling his head around to gaze up at Ash as he trailed away his giggles. He looked at him with shameless interest, noting the way in which that pale neck bent back in joy with a curious thought - how many people have had the privilege to see Ash like this?_ _

__Eiji declared himself incredibly lucky, then, to have seen this eighth wonder of the world._ _

__Finally, Ash fought off the last cackle that pricked his lips with a quieting sigh. He turned his attention down to Eiji, who was still pressed tightly against his chest in a messy embrace._ _

__The night seemed incredibly quiet, now._ _

__“Hi.” Eiji whispered._ _

__“Hi.” Ash smiled back._ _

__Far too quiet._ _

__“Do you think we were too loud?” Eiji asked once Ash began to stir. He sat up and shot a worried brow to the open window above them._ _

__Ash shrugged off that empty feeling as his hands slunk away to his sides. Despite the summer night, a cold shiver ran through both of them in the absence. “Maybe,” he said._ _

__“Do you care?”_ _

__“Not really.”_ _

__“Good,” Eiji beamed. He plucked away the discreet cigarette that was still perched on Ash’s ear. “Me neither.”_ _

__

__

__Despite the half-full pack that had been tucked away beneath his mattress, Ash didn’t bother in getting Eiji his own. Instead, the two just passed the cigarette between them with designated puffs and lingering touches - the ones that buzzed like the nicotine itself. One high just trickled into another._ _

__Due to this, Ash wasn’t scared that Eiji was pressed up next to him, and Eiji wasn’t scared that the neighbors could see. They were in their own world again, selfishly basking in each other's company and not regarding the consequences._ _

__“She was so quiet at that age,” Eiji explained in allusion to his sister. This was a regular talking point for them: close-to-kin. It was an easy thing to fall back on when other things were on their mind, like the sounds of each other’s fading laughter. “I was afraid she would go mute.”_ _

__“I wish Micheal had been.” Ash quipped with a trail of smoke. “I remember once - well, actually, that’s not a fun story.”_ _

__“No, tell me.” Eiji folded his arms across the railing in forced anticipation. Ash tsked and flicked the spliff._ _

__The two were dangling their legs off the fire escape and watching the cinders fall down like orange comets against the night. To any of the peering neighbors, that’s all they would be able to see - two shadows and a flame. Perhaps that’s what God saw, too._ _

__“Well,” Ash reluctantly began. “Micheal never really understood the concept of having a _biological _brother. I still think he doesn’t, actually.”___ _

____Eiji rested his chin against his arms. Ash took a drag._ _ _ _

____“And it pissed me off, for a while. When I was younger,” Smoke escaped his frown. “I don’t know why, but I hated it. He’d call me bub.”_ _ _ _

____“Bub.” Eiji repeated with a small smile._ _ _ _

____“‘Bub! Play cars with me.’ ‘Bub, carry me.’” Ash mocked lightly. “It was cute, I guess. But it really did bother me at the time. And one night he walked into my room._ _ _ _

____“He didn’t know about my nightmares.” His voice dipped. Eiji watched those green eyes go dull for a moment. “‘What’s wrong, Bub? Don’t cry. It’s okay.’ But he was so _loud _. Just wouldn’t stop.”___ _ _ _

______The air had gone still. Not knowing what else to do, Ash offered up the cigarette to Eiji - who denied it with a shake of his head. These silences never felt awkward, but as Ash’s familiar pink lips finished off that drag, there was a tension being swept up with every inhale. Perhaps it was the suddenness of it all._ _ _ _ _ _

______“What happened after?” Eiji found himself asking. A second-hand cloud accumulated beside him._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Well,” Ash laughed dryly. He flicked the stubbed butt off the balcony and watched it spin to the ground. “Stopped calling me bub after that.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______But Eiji found no solace. “Ash,”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hm.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Are they still happening?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Not as often,” he replied honestly. He’d given up trying to hide it. “And Micheal knows, now. He has for a while.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“That’s good.” Eiji whispered instinctively. There was a pause._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Is it helping?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Is what helping?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji shifted. “That photo.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Ash wouldn’t look at him. “Yeah. Thanks.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji smiled and drew his gaze back ahead. He could continue down that winding road of the past, but he was satisfied in the knowledge that he was doing what he could to help. So with the burning taste of tobacco still resting on his tongue, Eiji carried on with a lighter topic._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You know you two could pass as real siblings.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Ash turned over - equally as relieved as he was surprised to find the conversation change. “Really?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Mm.” Eiji smirked in memory. He elaborated, “There’s the same look in his eyes.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“What look?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji considered the question. “It’s hard to describe in English. Well, actually, I don’t think there is an English word _for _it.” He looked over at Ash and swung his legs. “木漏れ日.”___ _ _ _ _ _

________Ash held his stare with a confused squint, “Huh?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________That freckle creased with a smile. “Komorebi,” he danced his fingers around in example. “When the sunlight filters through trees.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I know,” Ash pressed. He read it once - somewhere. “But why that word?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Up until this point, Eiji had his chin pressed against his folded arms in a careless posture. But now, he averted his gaze onto his rocking shoes as he attempted to scrape together his reasoning. It felt foolish to say out loud._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Because there’s a sun in you.” He decided. “And you try to hide it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ash blushed openly, but Eiji didn’t stop._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You grow a lot of forests, Ash, to protect yourself. But the light always peaks through, you know.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Out of all the metaphorical compliments Ash has gotten in his young life, none of them made him feel like this. None of those raw words took his breath away like Eiji’s did. Sunlight through the trees - what a thing to say. Komorebi._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Any form of genuine gratitude didn’t feel like enough. So, “That’s very Walt Whitman of you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Eiji threw his head back and laughed out that bundled courage, “Fuck off.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“And that’s very American of you.” Ash smiled. His heart was still racing, and he found himself speaking without thought in an attempt to take the attention off himself. “I’ve always liked your eyes, though.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Really?” Eiji reclined back on his palms. “I think they’re too dull.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“No. No, not at all,” Ash bent down to take a better look. Eiji gazed back at him with a warm blink. “See! They’re dark at first glance but,” He leaned closer. “You got, like, honey in them.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Who’s the poet now?” Eiji hadn’t flinched from Ash’s advances, but instead deflected his nerves with a sarcastic quip. Only when neither of them moved from their positions did he let himself succumb to seriousness._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You like that, though?” His voice had gone soft. He wasn’t scared._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yes,” Neither was he._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“How come?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Because you only show it to me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Eiji tilted his head. “Ash,”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He’d never get over the way Eiji said his name. Like it was the most important word that boy knew. Like it was more than just a nickname, it was a prayer. And now, God was watching through starry skies as Ash tried to pull together an ounce of wellness between them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________But he fell short._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________His green eyes of conversation fluttered closed with a frustrated edge as he sharply turned away. Eiji’s own eyes - and heart for that matter - snapped open at the sudden disruption. Insecurity crept up from his chest and weighed down his throat as he watched Ash stand._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Perhaps more than one flame was thrown over that balcony. Perhaps it was two._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Let’s go inside.” Ash muttered. He didn’t even think about the implications of that sentence, yet self-awareness crept around their lungs like sour smoke._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ash made his way through that window before Eiji could even stand._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________His room was surprisingly well-kept. Despite the unmade bed, overflowing books, and messy desk, the blank walls and spotless floors gave Eiji the first impression of emptiness. It was as if there was something missing in the four minimalist corners._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ash flicked on his yellow reading lamp and watched as Eiji looked around in the adjusted light. The two were silent - either fighting off their lingering embarrassment or simply foraging for something to say. Only when he landed on a creased photo stuck between a shelf did Eiji find himself a conversation starter._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Did you dye your hair?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It was such an odd thing to say considering the atmosphere, but it seemed to fizzle something out. Ash crossed the room in confusion._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Your hair looks darker here.” Eiji elaborated, pointing to a pictured Ash who had his arm slung around a baby faced Shorter. The two were holding up an overflowing mass of red arcade tickets and laughing at their papered wins - yet Ash was conveniently holding his end up across his face. They were both scuffed from childhood._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I did this summer, yeah.” Ash ran a hand through the golden topic. “I didn’t think you’d notice.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Of course I would,” Eiji smiled. “So how old were you, here?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Uh-h, thirteen.” Memories of pocketed quarters and salted popcorn bounced around his head. “That was Coney Island. Nadia took us.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Must’ve been a nice day.” Eiji mumbled carelessly. He pointed to that hidden face, “So why are you covering yourself?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ash swallowed. He had forgotten how perceptive Eiji could be when he wasn’t busy telling him to fuck off. It was as if he had a sixth sense - intuition._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I just don’t like being photographed.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Eiji breezed right past his lie, “Well what if I photograph you?” he asked. “Would that be okay?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He replied on instinct. “Yeah,” What was he saying? “But why would you?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Ibe gave me his old camera, and I want to start using it.” Eiji explained. He turned back towards the photo. “You’re very photogenic - when you’re not in hiding.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Oh,” Ash crooked his smile. “Is that flattery?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“And is that modesty?” Eiji smirked back. “You’re handsome, Ash, you must know that by now.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ash hummed, “Maybe.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Maybe, he says.” Eiji chuckled to himself with a shake of his head. “Maybe.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ash felt that flame reignite in the pit of his heart. This was how he felt just moments earlier - a warm buzz of complete admiration. A gnawing thought urged him to run away like he once did, but instead he opened his mouth in honesty._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I could see you as a photographer.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Eiji blinked at him. “Really?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yeah,” Ash looked him up and down in a thoughtless justification. “Easily.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Eiji smiled and tilted his head. “Then I’ll take one now.” he said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Huh?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Eiji held up four fingers and connected them in a lopsided rectangle - a makeshift camera lens made of thumbs and digits. He squinted an eye closed and pointed it at Ash, “I do have a photographic memory.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ash laughed - perhaps a little too loudly for midnight - and raised his hand to bring Eiji’s camera down. “Sure, but I’m no muse.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You are to me.” Eiji beamed. His tone of voice heightened the fact that Ash’s hand was still lingering over his own and that there was little room for personal space._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________They looked at each other for a moment._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Everything that could ever be said out loud could be said through these silences between them. Ash and Eiji never needed words before - not when they could wave across a street, or breathe across a mattress, or drag a cigarette between fingers. And especially now, when a mutual need intertwined their fingers together, there was no need to speak. No need to break this fond allusiveness with words._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Yet Eiji found himself praying, “Ash?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ash planted himself still; he wasn’t going to run away this time. He wasn’t going to fight against God’s intention, nor was he going to let his dark past outshine the luminous boy in front of him. So instead he hummed in response and leaned in closer. Eiji stilled._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I want to ask, first.” He explained. He focused his attention to their clasped hands and ran a thumb across those pale knuckles. A shiver ran up with the movement._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ash’s voice was a low husk of what it used to be, “Then ask.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Eiji’s dimpled cheek creased further and his freckle bounced. “But I don’t know the english.” He clarified. Ash smiled._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’ll understand.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Eiji smiled too and looked up at him with that beloved honey tone. Ash knew that this light-brown hue was just for him, yet he wanted to paint the world with it. Wanted to color in between the lines with this boy._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________So when Eiji finally asked the baited question, Ash found himself clinging to every chime._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“キスしていいですか?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Japanese was such a beautiful language, Ash decided. The sounds that left Eiji’s mouth were tantalizing - breathy vowels and clicking consonants that demanded admiration._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________So Ash considered the phrase in his own treading repetition, “Kisushite…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“…iidesu ka.” Eiji finished. His breath was hot against Ash’s own._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Eye-de soo kah.” He muttered back, relishing how those foreign words rolled around his tongue. Eiji’s rosy smile grew as he waited for an answer._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ash knew what was being asked - he knew it ever since he first laid eyes on Eiji - yet he still found himself speechless. Memories of violent lips, hushed calls, and every unwelcoming touch associated with that lovely word hit him like cold water. He was drowning in this feeling like he would a nightmare - so he needed to find a will to survive it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Now it seemed that his will was running circles across his hand._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yes,” Ash answered, but he was unable to stop the hollow desperation from seeping into his plea. “Eiji?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Hm?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Kiss me,” He pressed - sunlight filtering through his eyes. “As slowly as you can.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Eiji nodded. “Of course.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________So he raised his hands on either side of Ash’s glowing face, only pressing further when a nod was given in permission. His fingers caressed the taller boy’s nape as strands of golden hair grazed his knuckles._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Eiji couldn’t help but marvel at the fact that he was touching the sun._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Instinctively, Ash raised his own hands to hold Eiji closer. He ran a thumb across those tan forearms curiously - he had dreams about what his skin would feel like - and found himself instantly obsessed. Because this boy wasn’t a fabricated dream of glass and paper, but a real person asking to kiss him. No one’s ever asked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Realizing this, Ash tightened his grip. He had started to shake._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Ash,” Eiji dripped with concern, his breath trickling besides that frowning mouth._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He didn’t know why he was so scared. “I’m sorry.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Don’t be,” Eiji nearly interrupted. He ran his thumb in little circles to soothe that fractured mind. “Please don’t be.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“But I want you to.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I know.” Eiji says, because he can feel every tremor of Ash’s past beneath his palms. He knows that this is hard for him. “I know.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ash’s eyes swelled._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Not knowing what else to do, Eiji tilted his head and kissed away a stray tear. When the action wasn’t at all objected, he did it again on the other side - stealing salt beneath his lips._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Eiji,” Ash sighed. The shaking was slowly settling. “I want you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________A kiss on his nose._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Please.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Because so many things were taken from Ash Callenreese. So many wonderful things were ripped away from that small Massachusetts boy who loved the game of baseball, and he wanted them back. He wanted Eiji Okumura to build them up again with every conquering touch and whispered promise. Ash deserved that - at the very least. He deserved all those good things._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________And as if he could hear all those pensive thoughts, Eiji reached up on pointed toes and kissed Ash’s temple. He held himself there for a moment - curling his fingers deeper around that bowed head to mutter into warm skin._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Would it be easier,” Eiji began. “If you did it?” He lowered himself to the ground and watched Ash nod._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________They deserved each other._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Can you close your eyes?” Ash asked. His vision was still blurry from those pricking tears, and he didn’t want Eiji to see him like this. Black lashes fluttered closed in both obedience and anticipation._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Ash stared for a moment._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________If Eiji was the moon, then perhaps he _was _the sun. The two were opposites - born of different stardusts and belonging to different times - yet tonight, the sun and the moon had successfully pulled themselves together in celestial grace. They were different in every possible way, yet one could not exist without the other.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________And maybe that metaphor was what urged Ash to finally press his lips against Eiji’s own._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Eclipse._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Eiji let Ash lead with soft movements - only kissing back when he knew that the action was welcomed. Ash appreciated this, and found himself sighing against those Japanese lips in thanks. Eiji smiled and tilted his head, doing whatever he could to bring out those sounds again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Ash swore he tasted honey._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________At first, the kiss was delicate and poised. Yet with every passing second it began to feel like blasphemy - like a lovely sin. Perhaps it was because this was a first for both of them, and the feelings in their chests were anything but holy._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Selfishly, they hoped that God had turned a blind eye._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Soon, Eiji found himself giving in to his aching lungs. He opened his mouth and slid back his head to catch his breath, taking Ash with him for a trailing moment. The taller boy eventually opened his eyes at the sudden emptiness and watched Eiji do the same - his tan face plump in an expression of intimacy. Honey lingered on Ash’s bruised lips at the sight._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He would be forever starving for this boy._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________So being at the mercy of his hunger, Ash drew in a sharp breath and crashed against those lips once more. A whimper left Eiji’s throat at the suddenness of it all._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Instantly, Ash pulled his mouth away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________It wasn’t as if he was repulsed or afraid of how his body was reacting - in fact, the sound resonated against Ash and twisted something pleasurable in his own loins. But it was a foreign feeling he was still getting used to, and he found himself quickly overwhelmed by emotion._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Eiji looked up at him with a wide-eyed horror - afraid that he had overstepped in intimacy. To clarify, Ash leaned back down, trailed soft kisses of reassurance besides Eiji’s cheek, and slumped against his shoulder in exhaustion._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Filled with a sudden understanding of the unsaid, Eiji wrapped his arms around him and clung happily. They had the entire summer to memorize each other's sounds - there was no need to rush._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________They never needed words, anyhow._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh i hope you guys enjoyed reading that as much as i did writing it!
> 
> the kissing scene was one of the first things i ever wrote for this fic, so its been sitting in my drafts forever. i struggled a bit but in the end i really do like how it turned out. putting the slow in slow burn haha   
> im still going to be aiming for weekly updates, but if its a few days late pls dont kill me. im not giving up on this story yet, i just want to make sure its the best it can possibly be.
> 
> thank you all for commenting, kudos, etc.! if you like my style be sure to check out my other work, or stick around and wait for a possible new banana fish au (?) we'll see
> 
> stay safe and stay loved <3


	8. Nothing Fades Like the Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " Morning skies on my mind,  
> ... June is the same in your eyes  
> Something tells me, you know why I lie
> 
> And I know why things change  
> And I know why I stay the same "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, thank you all for being patient with this chapter! it took a lot longer than i planned, but i hope you all like it nonetheless.
> 
> happy reading<3<3

Horizontal gaps of sunlight seeped in from the half-closed blinds, reflecting off the blank walls like makeshift prison bars. Eiji had been watching those walls all night, memorizing how the pallets went from black to blue to peach. Now, he studied the fading colors of morning with a dreaded sigh.

He hadn’t slept at all. But how could he, when the sun was laying on his chest?

Because instead of yearning on opposite sides of an unmade bed, Ash and Eiji opened up their arms and hearts for each other - intertwining their bodies so intricately they couldn’t tell who was who. They spent the entire night wrapped up in each other's dependency.

So perhaps _some _things had changed.__

__Beneath the tangle of warm limbs and sheets, the sun stirred into independence. A blonde head lazily nuzzled away from Eiji’s chest and into the crook of his shoulder with a sigh._ _

__“Ash,” Eiji whispered, lips bumbling against hair. “Are you awake?”_ _

__Pale arms clung tighter around his waist - disclosing an unsaid answer. Now, the walls were starting to return to their normal color, urging a deeply hated responsibility to the surface. Who was Eiji to take all this peace away?_ _

__The inevitable truly was a terrible thing._ _

__“I should go.”_ _

__Ash nodded lightly in agreement, yet his movements were laced with a childlike reluctance that held them both under. Eiji gave an amused chuckle and hugged him closer._ _

__“Ibe would be furious.” he persuaded - more to himself than to Ash. “He’d send me on the first flight back to Japan.”_ _

__Ash grumbled._ _

__“The things he would assume.” Eiji continued with a wonder. “I think he’d kill you.”_ _

__“That’s fine.” Ash’s voice was a deep rasp._ _

__“Then what would I do?” Eiji whispered, running a hand through his hair. He tilted his head down to look at him. “Ash?”_ _

__“Mm?”_ _

__“Could you kiss me again?”_ _

__He stirred up. “M-hm.”_ _

__And so he did. The movements of their lips were sleepy and slow and not as deliberate as yesterday’s, yet it was just as - if not more - lovely. Eiji wondered with a breaking smile if he’d ever get used to it._ _

__But Ash seemed to be managing just as well. With every tilted kiss he flooded sentences of admiration into Eiji’s mouth, each one ending with the phrase ‘Don’t go.’ It made Eiji’s heart soar to feel Ash so comfortable in his advances, yet at the same time he was devastated at the fact that he would have to break it._ _

__So in order to make it easier, he pulled back leisurely._ _

__“I don’t want you to be a dead man,” Eiji explained through a breathy whisper. His chest burned. “I should…”_ _

__Ash kissed him again in interruption. How could he explain that with every passing second pressed against Eiji was a second etched into his heart? A second taken from his past to resculpt a hopeful future?_ _

__But Eiji knew - he could practically taste those declarations. So instead of pulling back, he slid his fingers into the cusp of blonde and held him for a moment longer._ _

__No action or word could ever show how much they cared for one another. They would have to spend countless mornings like this to even begin to cover it, and a part of them desperately wanted to try._ _

__Still, the day continued to slip by in seconds, too._ _

__“Ash,” Eiji sighed, lungs aching and head bending. “This isn’t goodbye.”_ _

__“I know.” Ash mumbled back. Underneath the mess that were his bangs, sunlight caught the edges of that characteristic green gaze. He watched lovingly as Eiji tucked a few blonde strands behind his ear, urging out that desperate question. “Come by later?”_ _

__“M-hm.” Eiji whispered mindlessly. “Your hair is getting long.”_ _

__Ash leaned into the touch - another example of cat-like reactions. “Sayin’ I should cut it?” He purred._ _

__“No,” Eiji brought another hand down and swiped the other side. “Not at all. I like it.”_ _

__“You do?” He whispered back. A small realization struck him into a chuckle. “Shorter was right.”_ _

__Eiji was about to ask what for, but instead Ash slid his body away in compliance. Instantly, both of them were devoid of the morning’s warmth and reposition - as if they were missing a part of themselves. Wondering if the feeling was mutual, Eiji turned._ _

__And oh, how pitiful Ash looked._ _

__“You’re doing that on purpose.” Eiji accused in an attempt to cover up his guilt. He sat up before he could be convinced to crawl back in._ _

__Ash propped himself up on his elbows. “‘M not.”_ _

__Eiji shook his head and succumbed once more. He pressed his lips on the peak of Ash’s crown - inhaling the trailing smells of tobacco and green apple shampoo. He kissed away those metaphorical headaches before standing up to cross the room._ _

__Ash felt like crying as those brown shoes were slipped on._ _

__“Don’t make too much noise.” He warned meekly. Eiji turned with a cheeky expression._ _

__“Worried about me?”_ _

__Ash felt like a child, “No.”_ _

__Eiji threw a leg over the open window and hesitated on the sill. He shot a final smile into the room._ _

__“Ash?”_ _

__“Hm?”_ _

__Because despite the changes, some things had managed to stay the same._ _

__“You’re a bad liar.”_ _

__

__

__****_ _

__

__

__“What happened to you?”_ _

__“Nothing.”_ _

__Shorter dropped a paper bag down on the kitchen counter with a squint. He inspected Ash through sceptic eyes as the two began to dig out breakfast._ _

__“No, somethin’s up.” He muttered. “You’re all weird.”_ _

__“‘m not.” Ash grumbled, biting down on leftover Chinese in distraction. He made a face. “How old is this?”_ _

__“It’s only from yesterday.”_ _

__“Hm. Eggrolls are getting sloppy, then.”_ _

__“Your subject changes are getting sloppy.”_ _

__“Fuck you.”_ _

__“Ah-h,” A voice boomed into the room. The two boys turned their heads to a scowling, recently awoken Max. “Why on Earth are you two up this early? Can’t I have one quiet goddamn morning?”_ _

__“Just stoppin’ by before I check into the restaurant.” Shorter shrugged through a mouthful. He looked over at Ash. “But this one couldn’t sleep, apparently.”_ _

__“You dreaming again?” Max asked, pulling the newspaper out from under his arm to slap onto the table. He crossed the room and started the coffee pot - his only vice, it seemed._ _

__“No.” Ash twinged slightly at the irony of the entire lie. “Just couldn’t sleep.”_ _

__Instinctively, Max grabbed Ash by the back of his shirt collar. He gave an inspecting sniff before releasing the rowling teen, dissatisfaction crossing his face - whatever he was looking for wasn’t found._ _

__“The hell?” Ash squirmed. Shorter chuckled._ _

__“Hm.” Max reached up for a mug, unfazed. “Jus’ checking to see if you were smoking again.”_ _

__Ash rubbed his neck subconsciously as another truth boiled in his gut. He thought of Eiji’s fleeting words - “bad liar” - and swallowed. “Why?”_ _

__The older man shrugged, “I heard sounds on the fire escape last night.”_ _

__

__And that was all Shorter needed to connect the dots._ _

__

__He whipped his head around and shot Ash with an accusingly optimistic stare. A shit-eating grin spread across his face at the sight of those red tinted cheeks. “No way.”_ _

__“It’s not like that.” Ash immediately glared._ _

__“Like what?” Max urged. He watched curiously as the two teens communicated through a secret language only they knew - furrowed brows, widening eyes, the occasional curse, scoffs. A whole argument was happening beside him that was far too allusive for his older understanding. “Boys?”_ _

__Ash eventually turned away - hiding his flushed face between stuffs of breakfast. He was usually so cool about these things._ _

__But at least he was more composed than Shorter seemed to be._ _

__“Oh shit,” he laughed. “No way.”_ _

__“It’s not like that.” Ash repeated, voice low and dangerous. Anyone else would have spun a heel and ran at the sound of this growl, but instead it only confirmed suspicions - doth protest too much._ _

__“Called it.” Shorter geeked._ _

__“Called what?” Max sighed. “Ash, what did you do?”_ _

__“What _didn’t _he do?” Shorter mumbled happily. Ash struck the back of his head with a hard palm.___ _

____“It’s not like-!”_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____A fourth guest intervened with a knock on the front door. Shorter nearly collapsed in irony._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____So perhaps last night Ash used up all of his luck, because standing on the Lobo’s front porch - with a freshly changed shirt and disheveled hair - was the very topic of teasing. Eiji’s tired eyes lit up as the screen was violently pulled back. Annoyance was replaced with a natural instinct._ _ _ _

____“Hi.”_ _ _ _

____“Hi.”_ _ _ _

____“Ha!” Shorter cackled from the kitchen. Eiji raised a communicative brow at the sound to which Ash grew cold._ _ _ _

____“You could’ve at least brushed your hair.” He whispered with a step to the side. Eiji slithered in with a shrug._ _ _ _

____“I missed you.” he smirked just as quietly. “Are you complaining?”_ _ _ _

____Ash swallowed - damnit. “Maybe.”_ _ _ _

____Eiji hummed thoughtfully and breezed away. He entered the sunlit kitchen with a chipper hello, leaving Ash to catch his breath at the door._ _ _ _

____This was all so new._ _ _ _

____“Okumura,” Shorter called knowingly. “Happy morning.”_ _ _ _

____“Happy morning.” he called back, acutely aware of the shade-covered gaze that noted every aspect of his tired appearance. Sixth sense._ _ _ _

____“Hm,” Shorter chuckled and pushed the bag across the counter. “Must be hungry.”_ _ _ _

____Eiji didn’t think too much of the insinuation as he dug around - he _was _hungry. Ash appeared in the doorway with a glare.___ _ _ _

______Meanwhile, Max - who thankfully had very little observation skills and patience when it came to teens - proceeded to take his coffee and grumble away. He addressed Eiji with a nod before leaving. “Say hi to Ibe for me.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yes, sir.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“‘Sir’,” He repeated. “That’s a first.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Shorter quirked his lips. “Daddy’s approval.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______And with that, the three were left to openly address the elephant in the room. Eiji chewed quietly and watched as Ash and Shorter spoke to each other with those pointed looks again._ _ _ _ _ _

______A breaking point had been reached with the rise of Ash’s voice: “It’s not sex.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji sputtered._ _ _ _ _ _

______Shorter tilted his sunglasses down and peered at Ash with an authoritative scold. “You sure?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I think I would fucking know.” Ash scoffed. He dug his fidgeting hands into his pockets and leaned against the wall in a vain attempt to appear aloof. Shorter saw right through this act and tilted his head._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Wanna clear that up with your boy, then?” he asked._ _ _ _ _ _

______Ash looked over as Eiji coughed out the last of his surprised heaves. He held his wide-eyed stare._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Are we having sex, Eiji?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______He couldn’t breathe, “No!-?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Okay.” Ash addressed the smug boy once more. “Satisfied?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“No,” Shorter pressed. “Somethin’ happened.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Ash blinked away those fading memories of last night and shifted against the wall. He deflected - for Eiji’s flustered sake. “Why is it any of your business?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Shorter pushed his glasses up and grinned. “I have a bet with Alex.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji coughed again._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Kidding,” He shoved the rest of his breakfast in his mouth and shrugged in clarification. “I don’t really care, honestly.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Well get new material before you kill Eiji,” Ash grumbled. “Anyway, shouldn’t you be pissin’ off to work?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Shorter checked the time with a sigh. “Yeah,” The chair squeaked back as he stood. “But until you control your blushing and that one gets a fuckin’ inhaler, expect shit from the gang tonight.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Tonight?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Alex’s parents are out of town,” Shorter reminded. “And he stole a case from work.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Ash couldn’t help but worry at the thought of a drunken party. “Well we fooled Max.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Well Max is an idiot.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“So are you.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“That’s fair,” Shorter crossed the room, calling from over his suntanned shoulder. “But there is something to fool though, right?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______The two fools flinched at the slamming screen door and studied each other's timid company. Ash found himself apologizing between the silence - what for, he didn’t know._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Sorry.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______A dreaded beat went by before Eiji succumbed to a giggle. Ash watched with a soft expression as those sounds hiked into a laugh._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Why’d you have to look at me like that?” Eiji explained with a grin._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Like what?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Like that!” he gestured. “You gave it all away.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Ash smiled too - it was always so easy. “I’m sure you being here at seven in the morning has nothing to do with it.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“And are you complaining?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Ash pushed himself off the wall and made his way over. “Maybe.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______****_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Down the block from the Lobo’s blue steps, an apartment complex lay stark against the evening light. On the right side of the third floor, a window gleamed hazy and yellow in a sign of obvious gathering. Eiji stared up at it curiously._ _ _ _ _ _

______When word spread that Alex’s parents would be out of town for the weekend, the gang found themselves scourging around for various party favors. The rumor had been strung across streets until every close friend had filed into that far-right apartment, encouraging Ash and Eiji to be purposefully late._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I have to pick up somethin’,” Ash explained as he neared. He shoved a crumpled dollar into his waistband. “But it’s best if we don’t walk in together, anyway.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Despite spending the day in each other’s company, the two were unable to make up for lost time due to a bouncing Micheal and prowling parents. It was frustrating, but there was also a secret peace between the stolen glances and lingering gazes on each other's lips. They didn’t need to kiss when their eyes practically did it for them._ _ _ _ _ _

______So here they were, readying themselves for a party of possibility._ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji turned, “Think so?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Ash nodded - though he didn’t look happy about it. “I’ll see you later.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Alright.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______And so Eiji wandered into the stark building with an observing eye and shuffling steps. This is where Bones, Kong, and Alex grew up. This is where the gang shifted from playdates to hangouts, from hide and seek to poker nights. Perhaps that’s why Eiji had a sense of nostalgic privilege walking up those crumbling stairs._ _ _ _ _ _

______He let himself wonder what types of stories these walls could tell. Stories that consisted of stumbling down the halls in a drunken wobble, of neighbors complaining about the smoke rising up from the door, of inside jokes and spontaneous races to school. The more Eiji thought, the more he realized that this neighborhood really did capture a precious fragment of youth with every house. What a rare thing that was._ _ _ _ _ _

______He knocked on the designated door - number thirty-seven - in hopes of making his own colorful memories with this neighborhood. But as his lips tingled and palm grew unbearably empty, he realized he already had. Ash._ _ _ _ _ _

______‘Best if we don’t go in together.’_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______He really did care too much, didn’t he?_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______The door swung open in interruption and Eiji straightened his back in bad habitury. He looked up as a shirtless Alex grinned down from inside the haze._ _ _ _ _ _

______“It’s Okumura,” He called over his shoulder. He pushed the door open wider and gestured inside. “Welcome, welcome.’_ _ _ _ _ _

______Cheers ignited from the warmly-lit living room as Eiji made his way over. Bones, Kong, and Shorter greeted him happily from their seats on the dented couch, with various cans and smoking cylinders wafting in their hands. Sing waved his own, substance empty palm as he struggled not to let a beanbag swallow him whole. A television flickered on besides them._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Where’s pretty boy?” Alex asked as he followed. He plucked a can from a discarded cooler and popped it open. “Thought he’d be over with you.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji sank into an empty beanbag besides Sing. “Not sure,” he shrugged. “I just came from my house.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Bet you did.” Shorter quirked._ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji blinked._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Lynx is always late anyway.” Kong added through a smoky exhale. Nobody in the group seemed to catch onto Shorter’s comment as he winked. Instead, everyone’s attention was focused on the television as they bickered amongst themselves._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Can we rent a movie next time? We’ve seen this one too much.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“That’s ‘cos it’s good.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Eh.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Well - Eiji, have you seen it?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“No.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“There, see? New experiences.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hm.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You’re all so fuckin’ pretentious.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Oh,” Alex interrupted. “Eiji, feel free to smoke.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji turned from the screen and hummed in compliance. On the dining table in front of them, packs of rounded up cigarettes and loose lights scattered the wood in a communal pillage. Eiji plucked one from a case that looked similar to Ash’s and chose a lighter at random._ _ _ _ _ _

______He didn’t notice everyone’s staring until he took his first drag. “What?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Do you smoke?” Bones asked. An impressed expression was painted on his wild face._ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji fidgeted. “A little.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Where do you get them?” Sing bounded curiously. “You look so young, I’ve been trying for months.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Everyone raised their eyebrows in an awaited answer, but Shorter was the only one to catch on. He recognized the way in which the cigarette was poised - Ash was the only person he knew that held it that poshly - and he found himself smiling at the realization. So it really wasn’t just - if at all - sex, he thought._ _ _ _ _ _

______“He doesn’t look young,” He changed the subject purposefully. Nothing, truly, got past him. “You’re just a child.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Well when did you start?” Sing accused._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Twelve.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“What the fuck - let me have one, at least.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Kid’s got a point,” Alex added. “We shouldn’t smoke while we’re babysitting.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______A round of laughter swept up the group discratingly, giving Eiji a moment to catch his stuttered breath. He wasn’t sure what he would have said if the question still expected an answer, and the thought alone made him miss Ash terribly. But instead of delving down that painful road, he took a heavy drag and sank deeper into his seat._ _ _ _ _ _

______By the time his cigarette crackled past its halfway point, the front door opened in a blatant interruption. Everyone turned as Ash sauntered inside, a six-pack draped over his shoulder in carelessness. Everyone called their hello’s._ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji couldn’t help but smile._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hey,” Ash muttered back. He placed the beer and rattling cigarette pack on the table with a heave. Bones wooed enthusiastically._ _ _ _ _ _

______“How the fuck did you manage that?” Shorter asked in allusion to the loot._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Cain got a job at the gas station on twelfth,” Ash sniffed in explanation. He sat down on the floor by the couch. “Doesn’t card.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Ah, is he comin’, then?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“He is later.” He shuffled out of his denim-jacket. “Shift ends at nine.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“What-a guy.” Kong tore away a can and passed it to Bones._ _ _ _ _ _

______Ash nodded pensively to the statement before finally stealing a glimpse at Eiji. Without making it too obvious, he tilted his head in a silent question: ‘You’re smoking?’_ _ _ _ _ _

______Eiji answered by wrapping himself around the topic. Ash turned away quickly to prevent a reddening face._ _ _ _ _ _

______Because despite the obvious changes, like morning kisses and tangled fingers, nothing really changed between them._ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for the wait, but school has been piling up and i just had other priorities to get to. hopefully more shorter content and asheiji flirting made up for it haha.  
> there will be a bigger party-based chapter in the future, alongside appearances from other characters, so i will be editing the work length to about 15(?) just to give it all some space. 
> 
> thank you all for all your comments and kudos. i love you all sm its insane
> 
> stay safe and stay loved<3


	9. Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " Whispered something in your ear,  
> It was a perverted thing to say  
> ... Made you smile and look away 
> 
> As long as you're with me, you'll be just fine "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy february everyone!
> 
> get cozy, this chapter's a little longer than most<3 i really miss summer, so i kind of went all in with the atmosphere

Eiji, Ash had learned, was very good with his hands. 

Not in the ways that would inspire priests to cross themselves, but domestic ways. Simple ways. Like how Eiji’s fingers danced around the buttons of a complicated camera, or poised themselves between shared spliffs, or hooked around shirt collars to fan the fabric against his chest. It was all very captivating.

And the more Ash found himself stuck beneath those dancing fingers - holding hands beneath tables, swiping loose strands of hair behind ears, pulling heads closer in between kisses - the more he let himself linger on all those domestic ways. 

It was also very captivating when ice cream dripped down his tan knuckles. 

“Ah,” Eiji sounded, noticing the mess. He ran his tongue around in a quick cleanse. “These melt so fast,” He huffed. 

Ash’s own cone was seeping down his - increasingly tight - grasp, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop it. He felt like an idiot with vanilla in his hand as he turned away, focusing a half-lidded gaze onto the street. 

He knew he longed for Eiji, but he didn’t realize it had gotten that bad. 

The two stood around the edge of the bundled crowd, watching as seemingly the entire neighborhood swarmed the red and white painted truck. The intense midday sun called for jump ropes to be discarded, change to be foraged, and index fingers pointed to the faded menu of treats. Ash himself had pointed to a soft serve, Eiji to one with an artificial pink swirl, and now the pining boy was left wondering if Eiji’s kiss would taste like strawberries. 

It had been a week since their first, and simply hours since their last, yet every time they separated from a stolen kiss or mingled tongue - _that _had only started recently - Ash seemingly forgot the feel of Eiji’s lips. He wanted to refresh his memory now and test that strawberry theory, but there was a crowd, and in the crowd were his friends.__

__So he settled on a sigh and made his dent on the cone._ _

__“Anybody got five cents?” Alex shouted, resting an annoyed elbow on the truck’s jutting register. “I’m short.”_ _

__The crowd booed in response, obligating Eiji to dig around his pockets._ _

__“Don’t give him your money.” Ash scolded when those fingers pulled out a shiny nickel. Eiji shrugged, called for Alex’s attention, and lofted it across the road._ _

__“You’re a prince!” Alex thanked with a single-handed catch. He turned back over and placed the coin into the cashier’s palm. “Blue icy.”_ _

__Shorter shook his head from his place on the curb. He mumbled through a bite of his popsicle, “Rookie mistake.”_ _

__Eiji looked down at him expectantly before another drip ran down his forearm, causing him to grumble._ _

__“Alex’s folks are loaded.” Shorter explained matter-of-factly. “Country club and everything.”_ _

__"Well, his mom is.” Ash added, yet again focused on his own cone in an attempt to distract himself from Eiji’s tongue._ _

__“Dude even knows how to play golf,” Chimed Sing, who had been too busy rolling up the plastic of his otterpop to make any previous contributions. He was sitting cross legged next to Shorter, with his tank top tied around his head - it was nearly impossible for the entirety of the gang to be fully clothed - in an attempt to cool down. His hair spiked up from the bundle of fabric._ _

__“But he lives here, with his dad.” Finished Ash, who had recognized the confused tug of Eiji’s eyebrows. “His mom’s on the other side of town.”_ _

__Eiji nodded in understanding as Alex approached the group, careless that he was the point of discussion. He dug around the blue ice with a plastic spoon, thanked Eiji again, and offered him a bite._ _

__“Speaking of trust funds,” Shorter smirked, biting down on his grape popsicle. He held it up in Sing’s direction declaratively. “This one’s buyin’ a yuppie tutor.”_ _

__“Hey-!” Sing cried out as Alex began to laugh. “I told you not to tell people that!”_ _

__“What subject?” Ash asked with a teasing smirk of his own._ _

__Sing grumbled in defeat. “Biology.”_ _

__“Tutor?” Eiji asked, looking over his shoulder. Ash explained through gentle mutters as the two lost themselves in each other’s privacy, smiling in between definitions. The group carried on beside them._ _

__“Y’know who it is yet?” Shorter pressed, nudging his elbow against the rising sophomore._ _

__“No, it’s some rich Chinese kid. My mom set it up.”_ _

__“Mommy got involved,” Alex chortled. “Were your grades that bad?”_ _

__“Yes!” Sing shot an accusing stare at Ash. “And if you weren’t such an asshole, you could’ve taught me instead.”_ _

__Ash turned from Eiji and smirked - dangerously. “Asshole?”_ _

__Sing squinted away his fear. “Whatever.”_ _

__“Ash doesn’t even let me cheat off him,” Shorter added, slightly sympathetically for Sing’s benefit. “Trust me, I’ve tried.”_ _

__“Lynx has always been stingy with his talents.” Alex emphasized, glancing at Eiji. “I could’ve been an honor student.”_ _

__“A dishonest honor student.”_ _

__“How do you do in school, Eiji?” Shorter asked curiously. “You smart?”_ _

__“I guess,” He shrugged. He wasn’t lying - his parents had always pressured him into getting high grades and attending cram-school - yet he knew that American standards were different. He also knew that reading English was very different from speaking it. “But I’m not sure if I’ll be able to keep up.”_ _

__“I’ll help you.” Ash encouraged quietly. Eiji gave him a thankful smile, unaware of Alex’s suspicious glance between them. As of recently, the chestnut haired boy seemed to be catching onto the obviousness, and he raised his brow towards Shorter to confirm skepticism._ _

__“We all will.” Shorter quirked, shaking his head with a slight tilt to prevent the budding tease on Alex’s lips._ _

__“Oh okay,” Sing mocked, seemingly being the only one out of the loop. “But you guys won’t help me?”_ _

__Everyone laughed at the kid’s expense, their mouths stained with various colors of cool treats. The sounds melted into the noises of the street with the likeness of their dripping cones._ _

__Eiji wouldn’t dare to wipe those away, though._ _

__

__

__****_ _

__

__

__“I’ve been thinking, Ash.”_ _

__“That’s dangerous.”_ _

__Eiji tsked and knocked his foot against the other’s. The two were stretched out against the sidewalk’s curb, spectating the gang’s violent game of soccer from concrete sidelines. The ice cream truck had long since gone, clearing out their playing field._ _

__It had started as a half joke - Alex dribbling Kong’s beat up ball between his feet and passing it to Bones in a sort of keep-away. Only when Kong stole it back and shot it across the skidding asphalt did a chase really start, escalating into a full on match between the older crowd. Shirts versus skins. Five to three._ _

__“I’m being serious.” Eiji persisted. He had his camera out in front of his lap and was doing something to the lens._ _

__“So am I.” Ash assured, watching. Those tan fingers already knew their way around that complicated machine of modernity; how impressive was that?_ _

__Sudden cries and curses leapt out from the street - five to four._ _

__“Anyway, it’s about them.” Eiji continued as the sleek lens finally clicked into place. His gaze crinkled into a smile as Shorter started to insist on a penalty shot, rebutting Bones’s claim on a score. When Ash asked him why, he looped the strap around his neck, held up the camera, and elaborated. “Alex’s story made me realize how little I know about this neighborhood.”_ _

__Ash made a sound of realization and reclined back on his splayed palms. Everyone kicking on that court - shirtless or not - was a part of the muddled thing he called family, so why shouldn’t Eiji know?_ _

__“What about it?”_ _

__“Tell me about everyone,” Eiji squeezed an eye shut and focused on the exasperated boy a few feet away. “Shorter’s parents, for instance.” Click._ _

__That was probably the only thing Ash couldn’t disclose. Not because of privacy - he trusted Eiji with everything - but because he just simply didn’t know. There was a silent agreement that if Ash ever asked about them, then Shorter would feel encouraged to press on about Griffin, and those were topics neither of them wanted to delve into._ _

__So he explained all that to Eiji, who just nodded softly in understanding as the camera shuttered beneath his grasp. Nadia, the closest thing to a parent, was brought up instead._ _

__“She dropped out of highschool to look after Shorter,” Ash explained. “And to manage the restaurant.”_ _

__“So she’s strong.” Eiji accounted._ _

__“Very. But she’s dating a cop, so.”_ _

__Eiji chuckled and fiddled with a few buttons. “How’d they meet, anyway? I’m assuming Shorter was arrested?”_ _

__It was Ash’s turn to laugh. “Sort of. Nadia was so fed up with ten-year-old Shorter’s shit that she dragged him down to the station herself. To scare him straight._ _

__“And she ended up chewing poor Charlie out, saying that they need to start patrolling the neighborhood better because of her ‘asshole brother.’ In the end I guess she made some sort of impression, because he was doing his rounds at least four times a day.”_ _

__“Just to see her?”_ _

__“Just to see her.”_ _

__Eiji hummed notingly. It was a cute story, and he could clearly picture the look on young Shorter’s face when he realized that the cop car wasn’t for him - but for his twitterpated sister. He began to wonder how wild they all must’ve been at that age. Or at Skipper’s, for that matter._ _

__The thought made him turn the camera to the scorekeeper himself - who giggled in between the yells of the debated point._ _

__Click. “What about Skipper?”_ _

__“Ah, well,” Ash couldn’t help but smile at the innocent sight. “Skip’s folk’s aren’t around much, so he’s always been pretty independent. But he knows that we look out for him, and that’s all that matters.”_ _

__“What about Bones?” Click. “Kong?”_ _

__“Their mom’s were friends and practically raised them together. They’ve always had those stupid matching ponytails, though.”_ _

__“And you?”_ _

__Ash turned and realized that the camera was on him. Eiji grinned behind the third eye._ _

__“And I,” Ash held up his hand and pulled the lens down. He was still smiling. “Don’t like being photographed.”_ _

__Eiji groaned in protest as the strap was looped around his head, pale hands taking the camera into their own. Ash began to fiddle with it curiously._ _

__“Y’know,” he said as Eiji adjusted his grip - maneuvering fingers in the correct places. “I still don’t know that much about you.”_ _

__He held his hand in place for a second too long. “What do you want to know?”_ _

__“Why you’re here,” Ash lifted the camera and pointed it towards Eiji, still fumbling with the zooming lens and beating heart. “And why you’re here with Ibe.”_ _

__“Well,” Eiji started, unsure as to how he should carry on. “I had a pole-vaulting accident.”_ _

__Ash lowered the camera._ _

__“It wasn’t that serious. Just a sprain.” Eiji assured, his twisted expression contrasting his words. “But once I healed I couldn’t bring myself to… compete, again.”_ _

__Those green eyes swelled in a much deserved sympathy, yet Eiji couldn’t bring himself to meet them. So instead he turned his focus on the game._ _

__“Anyway, Ibe landed the university job last summer and offered me the change of pace. It was a really nice thing to do, foriegn education looks good on resumes, I suppose.”_ _

__Ash ran a comforting thumb across the side of the sleek camera as if it were Eiji himself. He processed everything earnestly, yet he couldn’t help the desperate question leap out into the open space._ _

__“A year?”_ _

__Eiji chuckled. For someone who had always been so strong, it was endearing to see Ash like this - pleading with the likeness of a child. It reminded him that in the end, they really were just kids._ _

__Their futures were still at their disposal._ _

__“It’ll be my decision,” Eiji assured. “To go back or not .”_ _

__“So will you?” Ash asked, rocking the lump that had risen in his throat with a swallow. He knew how pitiful he was sounding, but he truly couldn’t help it. He couldn’t even begin to imagine their morning goodbyes compared to the ones at airports._ _

__“Well,” Eiji eased, finding Ash’s concern to be overshadowed by the low-hanging fruit.“I did hear that ‘college’ is worth the stay.”_ _

__“And I’m not?” Ash prodded, catching on._ _

__Eiji shook his head and giggled, biting back the truth between his bottom lip. Ash smirked._ _

__“Stone cold, Okumura.”_ _

__Their tender joking was suddenly interrupted by a bounding and serious Shorter, who jogged his way towards them. He stopped on the edge of the sidewalk and placed his hands upon his knees._ _

__“Yo, Ash,” He huffed, rolling the chewed up popsicle stick around his teeth. Sweat was soaking through his yellow-clothed shirt, sticking onto his muscled chest. “We need you.”_ _

__Ash glanced at the rambunctious boys ahead of him and compared them to the one by his side. “Wouldn’t that make it uneven?” He excused._ _

__“Since when do you give a shit?”_ _

__“I’ll play.” Eiji offered. Two pairs of eyes instantly clung to him._ _

__“I thought you said Japan doesn’t play soccer.” Ash justified, minorly horrified at the thought of Eiji being roughed up by their violent game. The camera was slipped out of his hand and placed back in its case._ _

__“I said we don’t _call _it soccer,” Eiji stood - decision already made. “We play football.”___ _

____“Is Okumura joinin’?” Alex called. His own shirt had been discarded and used to mark the goalline, revealing an impressive line of sweat shimmering off his pecs. He held up his hand and rested it above his brow, casting shadows off his grin as Eiji neared._ _ _ _

____“Shit.” Ash muttered in compliance, standing as well. He scuffed his way forwards until another tan chest caught the sun. He paused._ _ _ _

____Because beneath the whoops and whistles of Alex and Bones, who were celebrating their added player, Eiji crossed the final bridge towards indecency with a toss. He stood slightly sheepish at the impressed and exaggerated reactions of his friends._ _ _ _

____“You’re fucking ripped!” Kong marveled. Eiji threw his head back and laughed - insecurities wafting into the summer air like the heat waves themselves. Ash swallowed._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____He knew he longed for Eiji, but he didn’t realize it had gotten that bad._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Shorter sighed knowingly and placed a hand on his teammates shoulder. “Get a fuckin’ grip, Lynx.”_ _ _ _

____Ash couldn’t scrape together a witty rebuttal due to the fact that Eiji had turned to look at him. His expression shifted into a smug grin once he realized the state Ash was in, and God, he wanted to kiss it away._ _ _ _

____“Afraid you’ll lose?” Eiji provoked once the blonde boy dragged himself over. The tone wasn’t helping Ash’s half-assed attempts to avoid staring - Eiji was stunning, and it was a damn shame he couldn’t do anything about it._ _ _ _

____“Terrified, actually.” Ash muttered, flicking his gaze back up. Perhaps the nickname Lynx was more accurate than intended._ _ _ _

____He seemed to be prowling._ _ _ _

____“Okay! Score is five to four, skins have the lead.” Skipper explained. “Shirt’s turn.”_ _ _ _

____“I’ll take it.” Ash offered, holding Eiji’s defiant stare. The muddy and torn ball was kicked his way by Sing, who - due to the last game’s broken arm incident - played referee. It skidded to a halt besides a jutting red shoe._ _ _ _

____“You play dirty, Eiji?” Bones asked, bouncing on his heels in preparation._ _ _ _

____“Of course he does,” Alex, looking for a good game, joked with a slinging arm. He ruffled a surprised Eiji against his chest and looked towards Ash, ignoring a flailing Shorter who attempted to prevent the induction. “Ain’t that right, Ash?”_ _ _ _

____Everyone held their breath when those green eyes lowered._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____“Play well.”_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____But perhaps Shorter should’ve let a few more taunts slip by, because - to no one's surprise - Ash played best when angry._ _ _ _

____“Six to four!” Skipper accounted. Everyone caught their whiplashed breath as the ball was kicked back to the center - Kong and Shorter eager in their win._ _ _ _

____“Jesus.” Bones sighed. “We’re fucked.”_ _ _ _

____“Nah,” Alex eased. His smile still tinted itself blue. “We got a secret weapon.”_ _ _ _

____Eiji, who was equally as impressed as he was infatuated, tore his gaze away from the back of Ash’s head. He’d never seen someone move like that. “Huh?”_ _ _ _

____“You’re up, kid.”_ _ _ _

____The ball was placed by Eiji’s too-clean shoes and he prodded around it anxiously. Dozens of eyes landed on the Japanese boy, each one crinkling in anticipation for the next round._ _ _ _

____Eiji tried to remember the ways in which he played football as a child - kicking up dust and dirt in empty parks on long school breaks. And much like any other sport supervised by parents or teachers, it had all been docile and well-kept._ _ _ _

____But this was soccer, not football._ _ _ _

____Eiji lifted up his gaze and found the eyes of that beloved opponent. Play dirty, they had said. Play like an American._ _ _ _

____So he kicked it off with a knowing smirk._ _ _ _

____Immediately, Alex and Bones reached up on either side of the road, dodging the futile attempts at being guarded as they readied for a pass. But instead of shooting it in their direction, Eiji weaved his independent way through Shorter’s advances and increased down the court._ _ _ _

____Ash’s heart was already beating fast._ _ _ _

____The two met near the far left side, dribbling around each other's maneuvering kicks with scuffing movements. Eiji couldn’t help but laugh as he collided into Ash’s chest, a playful stride erasing any competitiveness in him. He wanted to pull that shirt close and hold himself there, but instead he opted for another messy collision._ _ _ _

____“Wish I had the camera,” Ash breathlessly teased. He moved to the side as Eiji attempted to kick himself away._ _ _ _

____“For another good dream?” he whispered back, disarming arrogance with a freeing punt. Cheers ignited from the opposing side as the goal was successfully made, and Ash’s defenses were discarded like the fabric on the sidewalk. Six to five._ _ _ _

____Eiji shot a heaving glance from over his shoulder in victory. Despite the loss, Ash couldn’t help but smile back._ _ _ _

____One to one._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____****_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____The sun glowed a rosy shade of evening orange, taking with it the heat of the bright blue day._ _ _ _

____Parents opened their front doors to call their children home for dinner, shirts were picked up and looped back on, and the game concluded with lazy highfives of sportsmanship. It had been a tie - drawn at ten points - and now everyone expected to spend the night alone, tucked into their quiet and respective addresses._ _ _ _

____But Eiji could tell that Ash was stalling - dribbling Kong’s discarded ball around like it was a poised thought. With his lungs still aching from the fast-paced game, Eiji picked up his shirt, camera, and courage._ _ _ _

____“Walk me home?”_ _ _ _

____Ash nodded but didn’t look up, attempting to ricochet the ball against a balancing knee. He landed it easily._ _ _ _

____“I never could do that.” Eiji noted as he neared. Ash parted his lips in concentration as he switched legs._ _ _ _

____“We’d have competitions.” He explained. “Lots of ‘em.”_ _ _ _

____“Summers got really boring, then?”_ _ _ _

____Ash chuckled._ _ _ _

____Once again painted against the sounds of the quiet evening, Eiji let his gaze travel up to the curve of Ash’s focused face. Lines of remaining sweat dripped down that pale and chiseled jaw, catching the low hanging sun with a sweet tint._ _ _ _

____Of course Eiji longed for him, too._ _ _ _

____“So are they still?”_ _ _ _

____“Still what?”_ _ _ _

____“Are the summer’s still boring?”_ _ _ _

____Ash drew his gaze back up, surprised at the sudden intimacy in conversation. He watched as Eiji plucked his attention - and ball - from the air, smiling at the swift and successful interception. He rolled the tension around in those good hands and awaited an answer._ _ _ _

____“A little.” Ash muttered, straightening his back. He wondered how many neighbors could see them through their windows, and how many would care if he kissed this boy quiet._ _ _ _

____Eiji seemed to notice the hesitance. Another step forwards, “Just a little?”_ _ _ _

____Ash hummed. Was this really the same sheepish boy who fumbled on the meaning of tape? Who asked for the definition of rainbows?_ _ _ _

____But as Eiji leaned forwards with a tilt, encapsulating the day’s built up tension with a prodding stare, Ash found himself the one to be at a loss for words._ _ _ _

____“It doesn’t have to be.” he smiled, breath hot against Ash’s skin. Blonde lashes fluttered closed in expected relief._ _ _ _

____But instead of stealing a kiss - the thing he was so obviously building towards - Eiji dropped the soccer ball with a thwack and sprinted forwards._ _ _ _

____Ash muttered a smirking curse and followed._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____It doesn’t have to be boring, he had said. But it never was._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Eiji only made it a few yards before red shoes scampered up behind him. Familiar arms looped around his bare stomach and jerked him back, skidding them both to a sudden stop. The ball continued forwards, rolling against the hot asphalt of evening, discarded and forgotten like any lingering insecurity._ _ _ _

____Because Eiji was in Ash’s arms again, and nothing else mattered._ _ _ _

____Gasps of surprise - and slight protest - fizzled into laughter as Ash dragged them both back; proving himself stronger. Stuttered and warm breath tickled Eiji’s neck, and he gripped those pale arms in response. Ash smelt like summer._ _ _ _

____“Boring, huh?”_ _ _ _

____Eiji smelt like home._ _ _ _

____Nothing else mattered, but that didn’t mean the world had stopped spinning. Because farther up the road, the soccer ball clunked against Ibe’s leather shoe, encouraging him to follow the sounds of fading laughter. He clutched his briefcase with a coiled fist and practically barked Eiji’s name._ _ _ _

____Shit._ _ _ _

____Surprised, Eiji coughed away any lingering chuckles and slithered away from Ash’s grip - the joy in his stomach replaced with hot embarrassment. Shirtless, sweaty, bruised, and blushing, the pair were anything but subtle._ _ _ _

____But they were also anything but sorry._ _ _ _

____“Shit.” Ash sighed, chest burning with the ghost of Eiji pressed flush against him._ _ _ _

____“Shit,” Eiji repeated with a weak smile. He started forwards._ _ _ _

____“So is this goodbye, then?” Ash called, half-joking, half-worried. By the look on Ibe’s furrowed brow, it seemed that a month long punishment was expected._ _ _ _

____But Eiji turned with a confident stride, a mischievous and inviting gleam flickering against the sunset._ _ _ _

____“No,” He replied. “Ibe won’t be home tomorrow night.”_ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i haven't played soccer since the fourth grade ahaha 
> 
> sorry for the lack of actual kissing/touching in this one, i wanted to build the tension up to next week's chapter:) im really excited for you guys to read what i have planned  
> writing this in the dead of winter is both the best and worst decision i have ever made. what i would give to go outside and run around with icecream oh my god
> 
> anyway i love you all, please continue with your sweet comments! i don't respond to all of them just because i dont want to sound repetitive, but i truly am thankful for all of you
> 
> stay safe and stay loved<3
> 
> p.s guess who sing's tutor is


	10. Catcher in the Rye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " ... With wet hair dripping,  
> You know that I'm obsessed with your body,  
> but it's the way you smile that does it for me
> 
> It's so sweet, knowing that you love me,  
> Though we don't need to say it to each other  
> It's so sweet "
> 
> ****
> 
> " I will wash your hair at night,  
> And dry it off with care.  
> I will see your body bare,  
> And still I will live here
> 
> ... Hold my hand "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy (late) valentine's day! 
> 
> i wanted to get this chapter out yesterday, but i added the last scene as a surprise for you all. and since it was a little rushed, i haven't been able to edit as thoroughly as normal. either way, i hope it meets all of your expectations :)   
> also, due to this, i changed the ratings to mature. 
> 
> happy reading! love you all <3

Raindrops smacked against the beaten bedroom window, roaring up a sound similar to dull applause. The newspaper had predicted this - little thunderclouds with droplets beneath them, illustrated besides a headline that beseeched umbrellas - yet Eiji still found himself surprised at the consistent weather. 

He was also surprised at how easily he managed to lie. 

“It was just a game, Ibe-san.” He assured for what felt like the hundredth time. “Ash and I were just playing along.”

“What about your shirt?” Ibe wouldn’t let that go.

“It was hot.”

“And for the bruises?” Wouldn’t let that go either. 

Eiji shrugged. “I played well.”

Ibe rested a tired palm against the doorframe. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

They’ve had this conversation two times before. Once last night in rapid Japanese and once this morning in considerate English - Ibe took the ‘not angry, just disappointed’ route, and he suspected that a different language might help null his anger. And here they were again, bickering to the sounds of thunderous rain. The only difference in the argument was that a taxi cab was waiting for Ibe outside. 

It was some sort of business conference, one with badges and meetings and polite handshakes of fellow educators. Ibe had been scheduled to go for over a week, and there was no way he was going to decline now just because of a teenager’s reckless antics. Eiji hadn’t paid attention to the fine print of the trip’s details anyway - all he knew for sure was that he’d have the house. 

Fearing this, Ibe entrusted the Wong’s to keep a wandering eye out for any blonde visitors. The irony of that plan was that Shorter would always be a wingman before he’d be a snitch, and Nadia would be too busy with work to keep proper attention. Eiji had been dealt a lucky hand. 

He just needed to get Ibe out of the house before he could call flush. 

So, “I’m sorry,” he lied. “I’ll be more careful next time.”

Next time. 

Ibe shook his head in exasperation. He was already in his raincoat, taunting his leave. “I just don’t want you getting wrapped up in their mess.”

A prick of sarcasm seeped through the facade, “What mess? Soccer?”

Ibe glared up in surprise. Eiji straightened. 

“Sorry,” He muttered again.

There was a stretching silence between them that nearly covered the pittering rain and ticking clock. The rhythmic sounds seemed to remind Ibe of his late departure, and he ran a hand across his bearded mouth in frustration. 

Eiji had always been such a docile kid - older than his years in all the ways that mattered. Yet ever since they arrived on this free soil, he started acting his age. 

But Ibe didn’t exactly sign up to be a parent. 

“I trust you, Eiji.” He decided. That was still the truth. “But I’m also _responsible _for you.”__

__Eiji stayed quiet - biting back a snarky confirmation of that statement. So instead of answering, he fixed his gaze out the window, and reached out to what lay past it with his hooded eyes._ _

__Ibe recognized that expression. It was the same look Eiji had given his teammates from the sidelines of pole-vaulting meets, or when he first arrived in this country, and especially when he first waved towards those bundled neighbors on the steps._ _

__Longing._ _

__Ibe sighed for the third time that day. He really wasn’t cut out for this._ _

__“I just don’t want to see the look on your mother’s face when she finds out you’ve been calling it soccer.” He ended._ _

__And despite the initial restraint, Eiji couldn’t help but smile at the thought. He could easily picture her maternal fretting - doting around the bruises, cupping his tinted face to scold sunburn, flicking his shoulder disapprovingly whenever he’d mispronounce a word he hadn’t used since Izumo._ _

__He hadn't called in a while, now that he thought about it. He should._ _

__But only one heartstring at a time._ _

__“Isn’t your taxi on the meter?”_ _

__

__

__****_ _

__

__

__Ash was soaked._ _

__The impatient blonde had been peering down his own droplet littered window all afternoon, anticipating that yellow cab of promise to pull away. He had told Max that he would be spending the night at Shorter’s - an entire cigarette pack had been bargained for this - and with an alibi like that, the plan seemed bulletproof._ _

__He just never accounted for it to rain._ _

__Laughing at the sight, Eiji unlocked the dripping window and shucked it away. A soft breeze rustled his dark hair as he peered outside._ _

__“You could’ve used the front door-”_ _

__Wet lips crushed him quiet._ _

__It had only been a day, yet for all their pining’s worth, it might as well have been a lifetime. Neither of them cared that Ash’s fingers and mouth were cooly saturated - all that mattered was that they were together again, mingling kisses under the rain._ _

__Longing._ _

__Eiji hummed as those cool hands slipped themselves behind his neck, tugging him closer until droplets dappled his nose. The sound encouraged a tongue to peak its timid way out, slowly skimming rainwater across Eiji’s bottom lip._ _

__He gripped the windowsill to compose himself._ _

__This was all so new._ _

__Eventually Ash loosened his grasp and lowered his head to get a better look at the boy he held. Eiji gave him a dazed expression right back and compressed his lips together shyly - because by the flare in those brown eyes, Ash knew exactly what he had just done._ _

__Eiji’s voice cracked between a murmur. “Get inside.”_ _

__

__

__A puddle of summer rain soon pooled itself around Ash’s ankles, dripping down onto the wooden floor with silent splashes. He stood in the center of the room awkwardly, waiting for Eiji to pad back in with towels in hand._ _

__“Idiot,” the older boy scolded, unfolding the fluffy fabric and draping it across Ash’s hair. He began to dry with gentle and careful shakes - actions rebutting his words. “I can’t believe everyone thinks you’re so smart.”_ _

__“Are you complaining?” Ash smirked beneath the linen._ _

__Eiji wanted to, but his lips were still wet. “No.”_ _

__That smile grew._ _

__Lovingly, Eiji moved the towel down to cup Ash’s face. In response, pale hands were lifted and placed around his thin forearms - mimicking the position they were in the first night they kissed, with hands placed on faces and wrists._ _

__“You should probably change clothes,” Eiji muttered offhandedly. He dragged the fabric across those blonde lashes - thankful that they were wet from rain and not from tears._ _

__Ash hummed, though he wasn’t really listening. He was too busy occupying himself - tracing little circles across that delicate skin with his thumb, - unknowingly feeding into the fire._ _

__“You’ll catch a cold.” Eiji continued, voice a little softer and composure a little off. He averted his gaze and began drying that beloved neck._ _

__But Ash was still stuck on that night._ _

__“Eiji,”_ _

__“Mm?”_ _

__“Was I your first kiss?”_ _

__Eiji looked back up with a pink expression. Ash blinked back down with a curious one._ _

__Wading through juvenile embarrassment, the question was flipped into a tease. “Was it that bad?”_ _

__“No,” Ash immediately insisted, unable to play along. “Of course not.”_ _

__“M-hm.” Eiji disproved._ _

__Sensing the insecurity, Ash trailed his fingertips down the length of Eiji’s wrists and grasped a tan hand. He maneuvered the fingers down until all five lay flat against his soaked shirt - right where a burn would normally spark between cigarettes._ _

__Eiji shot him a brow._ _

__Ash elaborated with a smile. “Kiss me.”_ _

__Still unsure as to why his palm was splayed, and with hopes to find out, Eiji leaned forwards and brushed his delicate lips against Ash’s own._ _

__A wild thumping immediately blossomed beneath him._ _

__Oh._ _

__“See?” Ash breathed. “You’re good.”_ _

__In hopes of quickening that rhythmic tempo - and with a new ego boost - Eiji parted his mouth and leaned back in. Ash’s heart swung in double-time._ _

__“Was I?” Eiji couldn’t help but wonder in-between kisses. Ash took a step back and trailed them both along._ _

__“Were you what?”_ _

__Legs hit the bed frame. “Was I your first?”_ _

__There was a technical answer, but everything about Ash’s past was starting to be redefined. It was different with Eiji Okumura._ _

__Everything was._ _

__“Yes.”_ _

__

__The two crumpled against the mattress._ _

__

__Outside, the rain continued to pitter and smack against the half-drawn window in earnest. It heightened the noises of gentle sighs and scraping denim as the two worked their way against each other - Eiji supporting himself on either side of Ash’s cool body, Ash wrapping his arms around that bended neck. Intertwining._ _

__Everything that had been building for weeks came undone with the bucking of hips._ _

__They dreamt about this._ _

__The only difference was that tongues were more sultry than expected, and Eiji usually woke up by the time hands could travel down from his neck. So when ghost-like fingers pinched the hem of his shirt, slipping themselves beneath the fabric to search for warmth, he pulled away._ _

__“Ash,” He gasped. His head suddenly felt too heavy on his shoulders - too full of feeling. A whispered whine was pulled out into the open space. “That tickles.”_ _

__Ash danced his way up the grooves of Eiji’s prominent spine, feeling the intricate bones and how they gently writhed beneath him. He couldn’t help the tease, “Just tickles?”_ _

__Eiji panted out a laugh. It was a strange feeling - being touched in a place where no one else had been. Whether or not it was because it was a new sensation, or because it was Ash himself, it didn’t matter. Eiji unraveled nonetheless._ _

__His arms shook themselves limp as he lowered himself down. How strange this all was._ _

__The two worked in a rhythm that derived itself from friction, building off movements that were amplified by their pressed bodies. They seeked eachother out as if they were blind, and with the ways in which they relied on nothing but touches and sounds, they might as well have been._ _

__So when Eiji opened his mouth and nuzzled into the crook of Ash’s neck, the sound of hitching breath above him was nearly deafening._ _

__Strange._ _

__Unsure as to if those sounds were good or not, Eiji stopped his movements and muttered into the damp skin. “Are you okay?”_ _

__Ash, dazed and hungry, rasped out an answer._ _

__“Take your shirt off.”_ _

__

__He nearly died right there._ _

__

__Slowly, Eiji straightened himself upwards and straddled that still-wet torso with pressing thighs. The fabric was already bunched around his neck from Ash’s travels, and thus easily shucked away with both of their fumbling help. They placed the shirt on the side of the bed in careless disregard - fluffing Eiji’s hair in the process._ _

__Ash stared for a long while. Eiji let him._ _

__And when he began to rub the sides of Eiji’s arms in atonement, Eiji mimicked the movement against Ash's stomach - raising the hem of that dark cotton to reveal a space of skin in the process. He lifted his hooded eyes and seeked permission to continue._ _

__Ash nodded, and his shirt proceeded upwards._ _

__The constant confirmation of consent was trivial and slow, yet absolutely vital to them both. There was no rush to get to wherever this would lead - no reason to feel obligated, either. And in fact, the hesitance almost made their actions sickly teasing._ _

__They were sure they would have woken up by now._ _

__When the damp shirt clung beneath Ash’s arms, the blonde accommodated with a strain of his upper-back - wriggling beneath Eiji’s hips to make the process easier. The sound of rustling fabric reminded Eiji of Izumo’s ocean - receding against the shore, revealing sandy colored skin beneath its wake. He always thought of Ash as his home, and now here he was: straddling the tide._ _

__The shirt was thrown to the floor. It was Eiji’s turn to stare._ _

__It seemed as if it were lifetimes ago that they lay in this bed, consoling about nightmares and haunting pasts. The boy Eiji knew back then was a boy who was so scared of himself, a boy thoroughly convinced he didn’t deserve to be happy._ _

__Look at him now._ _

__

__“You’re beautiful.”_ _

__

__Ash blinked up at him. His eyes glittered in the grey lighting as he responded with a shake of his dazed head._ _

__“You are.” Eiji assured with a lean. “You really are.”_ _

__“You don’t have to say that,” Ash breathlessly taunted, fidgeting against the fumbling lips that trailed across his jawline. “I’m already under you.”_ _

__Eiji smiled against him. “Idiot.”_ _

__“Are you complaining…”_ _

__A surprised gasp strangled out in interruption as Eiji nipped his pulse. Goosebumps trailed across skin as a tongue trailed across a bended neck, soothing the dents caused by fervorous teeth._ _

__So many things could go unsaid, but beneath all of those rising sensual details - chest on chest, Eiji’s mouth, Ash’s racing breath - another silent declaration was spoken._ _

__Hands gripped Eiji’s shoulders at the feeling. He stopped immediately._ _

__“Are you okay?” Eiji asked, acutely aware of the firm pressure pressing against his thigh. He proceeded to kiss an apology into the reddening mark in muffled concern._ _

__Ash’s chest continued to heave beneath him, rocking both of them with jostled motions. He stayed quiet._ _

__“We can stop,” Eiji continued. His voice was so, so gentle. “We can always stop.”_ _

__“I know.” Ash rasped. His voice was far away - far out of company. Eiji just hoped it wasn’t all the way back in Cape Cod._ _

__So he turned his head. “Do you want to stop?”_ _

__Ash swallowed away a vocal answer, and instead let a delicate movement speak for him. He nodded._ _

__“Okay.” Eiji whispered. “That’s okay.”_ _

__Ash hugged him closer._ _

__“I’m sorry.”_ _

__Eiji hugged him back. Despite all the teases and all the repeated jokes, he could never complain about Ash Callenreese. He loved every stuttured moment spent with him._ _

__“Don’t be.”_ _

__

__****_ _

__

__It had been a lazy night, filled with bumps of unexpected intimacy._ _

__When Eiji had given Ash a change of clothes - insisting that he had to wash the soaked ones - they ended up kissing against the washing machine. Or when Ash flicked a soapy hand in Eiji’s direction while they cleaned their dinner plates, they ended up holding each other with suds still on their fingers._ _

__No one was around to dull their longing, and their impromptu sessions proved that._ _

__So now here they were, reading side by side with their legs entwined, unsure as to when a kiss would inevitably stir up again. But as Eiji folded his paperback and turned towards the softly lit boy next to him, it seemed that he expected it to happen soon._ _

__Ash didn’t falter from his own page - just simply raised an eyebrow to address being watched. Eiji shuffled closer._ _

__“What’s a rye?” he asked._ _

__It took Ash a second to realize that those dark eyes were settled on his book cover. “A wheat field.” He offhandedly explained._ _

__Eiji made an understanding sound. “So what’s he catching, then?”_ _

__“Some peace and quiet.”_ _

__Eiji grumbled and jutted his chin against Ash’s shoulder. Sighing - somewhat dramatically - Ash complied with a lift of his arm and wrapped it around the other boy’s waist. Eiji smiled and nuzzled against his chest._ _

__They’ve done this all before - reading on an unmade bed, lit by the glowing bed lamp, waiting for sleep to inevitably come - but it still all felt so new. Perhaps it was because the door was open when it was usually locked shut, or because the memories of hours prior still drifted in their heads. All of this made a childish question be pulled from Eiji’s bumbling lips._ _

__“Can you read to me?”_ _

__Ash finally drew his gaze away from those written words. He thought for a moment, a flat expression melting into something more sincere as Eiji ran his fingers against his collarbone._ _

__“I’m not doing voices.” He concluded with a turn._ _

__Eiji hummed happily._ _

__The story began from the last place Ash left off, and despite his quiet and easy conviction - that lacked any expected theatrics - the voice that rumbled against Eiji’s ear was almost deafening. A heartbeat thumped beneath the words._ _

__Ash flipped a page and continued._ _

__If you were to ask Eiji about the general plot, he would be unable to come up with anything substantial. He was too busy reading his own tattered novel - one that was written with fair skin and green eyes and pink lips. And while Ash was distracted, Eiji let himself truly look at him._ _

__His mind wandered across his studies._ _

__He always knew that there were many sides to Ash Callenreese. To Ash Lynx. There was the scared shortstop worthy of protecting, a stone-faced teen who grumbled in sarcasm, and the gentle reader who held Eiji so dearly. It didn’t matter whether his lips were scowled or smirked, just as long as Eiji could kiss them either way._ _

__There were many sides to Ash Lynx, but Eiji loved them all the same._ _

__Ash fumbled on his words as gentle lips brushed against his neck. It was the same spot where a mark had been made just hours earlier, and Eiji still felt a little bad about that._ _

__But, consequently, Ash had stopped reading._ _

__“Go on,” Eiji smirked against him. He moved upwards._ _

__Ash swallowed and mustered up a will to continue. Because despite his meek obligation, he was finding it increasingly difficult to focus on the words in front of him._ _

__And Eiji could tell. Of course he could tell._ _

__“What are you doing?” Ash breathed as teeth nibbled his earlobe._ _

__“Touching you.”_ _

__Ash gave a sardonic hum at the obviousness, letting the book lay limp in his grasp. Only when Eiji shifted himself closer did it become completely disregarded - his hands now free and tugging the other boy on top of him._ _

__Last time, there had been no communicated direction as to where their kisses would lead - just a blinding need to be closer. But now, as Ash fitted Eiji between his thighs and wrapped him up with his legs, there seemed to be an end goal. A desperate one, at that._ _

__Still, there was no shame in clarifying things._ _

__“Ash?” Eiji huffed, resting his hands on either side of those broad shoulders. Thighs squeezed him closer, urging him down to seek relief._ _

__“Don’t stop.”_ _

__Eiji grew rosy with dazzling affection. He lowered his hips until they lay flush against the other’s, and a melodic sound escaped them both at the contact. Forehead rested against forehead, heart against heart._ _

__“Are you sure?”_ _

__Another grind. “Yes.”_ _

__Eiji opened his eyes - not recognizing the sound of his voice. “Can you tell me what to do?”_ _

__Ash grew pink beneath him. It was one thing to let their bodies speak for themselves, but to say the things he only dreamt about felt especially blasphemous. He knew why Eiji needed it - in fact he melted at the thought - but he was also worried that it all might fizzle out again. That this time would be no different._ _

__And Eiji seemed to be worried about that, too._ _

__“Can you tell me? Please?” he asked. By now he had let his entire bodyweight crumble down, with one hand cupping Ash’s face and the other limp beside him. The desperation in his voice urged Ash to muster up his blunt courage._ _

__“Touch me.”_ _

__Another pressing feeling coiled around their loins. Things were still too vague._ _

__“Where?”_ _

__He grew impossibly fond, then. No one’s ever asked._ _

__So just like before, when Ash had taken Eiji’s hand to place it upon his chest in reassurance, he intertwined their fingers and trailed them down._ _

__Eiji’s eyes were bright._ _

__By the time his nails scraped against the hem of Ash’s belt loop - the one that had been loaned to him - Eiji felt dizzy with nerves. He wasn’t sure what to do, despite having unbuckled these pants countless times before on his own body. It was as if muscle memory had failed him._ _

__This was all so new._ _

__Without thinking - and sensing the panic - Ash pushed both of their hands beneath the fabric and wreathed their grasps around him. Hearts clashed in a mutual beat, snubbed by slight shock and pleasant uncertainty._ _

__Still unsure as to what he should do, Eiji kissed Ash with an open mouth and dived back into familiarity. He knew what this felt like - had memorized those warm lips. And as if he had succumbed to instinct, his hand began to move in its own dance of impulse._ _

__A moan rumbled against him. A freehand gripped his shirt._ _

__“What about you?” Ash stammered after a manageable moment. Eiji shook his head._ _

__“I don’t need anything.”_ _

__Ash’s affections swelled once more. How could anybody be so good?_ _

__

__Eventually those trekking sounds threatened to boil over into a peak. Eiji drank up all the little expressions and whines - memorizing both their pattern for personal use and for any signs to stop. He kissed him once again before Ash unraveled in his palm._ _

__He truly was beautiful._ _

__It took Eiji a fuzzy moment to realize that his name was being muttered - over and over like prayer. Ash strung those foreign syllables together under one exhale, like a trailing song. Bruises were sure to be left on his heart and lips from the melody._ _

__“Ei _ji _,” he ended, cracking on relief.___ _

____“Ash,” Eiji answered, trailing his open mouth against the contours of that prominent jaw. He grazed his teeth against the pale skin to make that shushing sound. “Ash.”_ _ _ _

____Blonde lashes fluttered open to gaze up at the fuzzy ceiling - blinking away the fading high with clouded vision. This all felt too real, yet entirely fabricated._ _ _ _

____“Ash?”_ _ _ _

____He looked back down._ _ _ _

____“You’re beautiful.”_ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a disclaimer: one thing i really struggled with in this chapter was figuring out how to balance ash's past. i dont want to write intimate seems just to write intimate scenes - but i want these experiences to be growth for both characters. that might just be me overthinking, but i just wanted to explain why i chose this pace. 
> 
> anyway, this chapter was really important to me, and i am very proud of it. thank you, guys. really. 
> 
> stay safe and stay loved<3
> 
> p.s, some exciting news! i have officially started my new banana fish fic:) i dont want to give too much away, but as a little sneakpeak it takes place in the 70s. if updates for this one are a few days late dont worry! im just working on that one


	11. Your Offered Hand is Still Open to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " And if I feel tomorrow like I feel today,  
> We'll take what we want and give the rest away  
> ...This love of life makes me weak at my knees
> 
> We are not two, we are one "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy thursday! uploading twice this week!
> 
> happy reading <3
> 
> also i completely forgot about the spotify playlist so here it is again:  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0d3ZaMSlcdiuVwqFOfSfEd?si=d9fee96072ea4e1b

Eiji woke up alone. 

Beside him, in the vast spaces between his unkept sheets, he lazily grasped for a ghost to embrace. But instead of holding the body he fell asleep against, he was met with bunched up fabric in his fists. 

He perked his head up. 

Outside, the rain had finally eased up to a light sprinkle, painting the room in a melancholic tone. Due to the overcast skies and lack of early morning sun, Eiji had to strain his blinking eyes to see against the dim grey light. He ran another desperate palm across the obvious indent beside him, feeling the lingering warmth of that missing boy. Ash must have only just left. Perhaps he was still here. 

“Ash?” 

The gentle whir of rain answered his weak call. 

Fighting off a growing panic, Eiji dragged himself away from the comfort of his warm bed in search. Only then did he feel the cool AC against his bare skin, and only then did he realize that his shirt was missing. 

He blushed at the memory as to why.

Last night, he had tugged the fabric over his head for a second time, bunched it in his fists, and cleaned the mess between his palm and the other boy's jittering stomach. Then - when cleanliness proved to be far from godliness - Ash reached down and kissed Eiji’s fingertips to return the gesture. He proceeded to mumble sweet nothings into each callus, praising the only thing that had ever held him. 

Eiji’s hand still tingled from the feeling.

Those little quakes of the past - that left him flushed with every recollection - came tumbling back with every allusive breath. If it weren’t for the soiled shirt in his hamper or the drying clothes on the door, he would be convinced he had dreamt it all. 

And with Ash’s lack of presence, perhaps he had. 

Seeking out anything that proved yesterday’s events, Eiji crossed the room and plucked away a hanging shirt. When he settled the dark cotton across his chest, he became acutely aware that it didn’t belong to him - the hem dipped against his collar bones in an unfamiliar way, the sleeves rolled out loosely where muscled biceps should be, and it carried the faintness of bergamot and tobacco. 

He buried his nose in the fabric. This was Ash’s. 

Eiji remembered peeling back this shirt. Remembered grazing his knuckles against those pale muscles of conversation to help tug it off. Remembered discarding it to the side of the bed once that blonde head peeked back through. Most vividly, however, he remembered the look on Ash’s face when he abandoned his own. 

It was all coming back to him now. 

“Ash?” he called again, padding through the house. He had sported that desperate pitch last night, too - although Ash’s name was said under different conditions.

Something shifted in response.

Following the sound, Eiji tipped around the hall and made his way to the partially open bathroom door. As he pressed down on the rustic handle and turned, that beloved blonde head perked up from its place on drooping shoulders - slightly startled at the interruption.

Eiji let himself be relieved, then, but only for a moment. 

Because Ash looked small.

“I’m fine,” he immediately eased, recognizing that pitiful concern on Eiji’s face. But from his current position - coiled on the floor, pressed up against the porcelain - there was no point in dancing around the obviousness. “Just feel a little sick, ‘s all.”

Eiji’s accusatory gaze traveled down to watch the trembling in those pale fingers and the line of sweat on that blonde brow.

Oh, Ash. 

“Eiji,” he insisted. His stomach churned once more, proving his false claims. “Please, I’m fine.”

“You’re not.” Eiji mumbled back, perhaps a little too harshly. He took a step forward and crossed the small room. 

Ash shifted in a stubborn response. 

Putting his harsh concerns to rest, Eiji nestled besides the boy he loved so much and fought against liability. This was all his fault, he thought. It was his hand that fondled out those memories, his mouth that shook the other’s dry. He should’ve stopped it - it was all too much.

And yet, despite this, he still wanted to soothe those tremors of sickness away. He wanted to touch him and kiss him and do all the things he would normally do in order to comfort that boy back down. But you can’t fix something with the same tools used to break it. 

He didn’t know what to do. “I’m sorry.” 

Ash exhaled out a shaky breath. Frustrated and tired, he rested his head on the lightly painted wall and closed his eyes. A blatant truth slipped by for the first time that morning. 

“It’s not your fault, Eiji.” he rasped. “Please don’t think it’s your fault.”

Eiji was quiet for a relieved moment. He watched that expected apology bud itself on the tip of Ash’s tongue. 

“Then it isn’t yours, either.” He interrupted. 

Ash grew silent in response.

If Eiji dug around the memories of weeks prior, he would find a time in which he and Ash splayed themselves across those blue steps - conversing about a broken hydrant. That had been the first time Eiji had snuck out, and the first time he honestly felt seen in this country. But due to their punishments, they had exchanged sorry’s and blames as to who’s fault it was. 

Just like they were now. 

“Do you regret it?” Eiji asked. That was the same question he had asked back then, too.

Ash’s voice became steady with sincerity. “Of course not.”

Eiji felt the world fall off his chest. 

“Me neither.”

Because ever since Eiji was first held in those pale arms - swinging beneath the hydrant’s rain - he had instantly accepted everything about Ash Callenreese. That was just his instinct. So if Ash’s own instincts wired him to sit upon the bathroom floor in steady bumps of recovery, then Eiji would sit with him. At the very least, he’d sit, and at the very most, he’d offer up his hand for Ash to take. 

‘I’m here.’

And to his own vocation, Ash’s fingers slipped themselves between the unfurled proposition, and the two fitted their grips together like clicking puzzle pieces. 

Ash tightened his grasp in response. ‘Thank you.’

He never asked for forever, but Eiji would stay anyway. 

“Are you wearing my shirt?” 

Eiji turned his head from his view out the window, blinking away the creeping sleep. “Hm?”

The two were still sitting on the tile floor, silent and patient in their wait. Bile still lingered on Ash’s tongue, but Eiji’s presence was doing more than any tablet or pill. Just the feeling of his hand brought on a wave of serenity in his gut. 

And now, he found himself observant. “Is that my shirt?” He repeated.

“Oh,” Eiji looked back down and fluttered a bashful eye. He pinched the collar with his free hand as he inspected it. “Yeah.” 

Ash gave a small smile. He finally understood why all the boys in Nadia’s rom-coms - that Shorter and him only pretended not to watch - would give the girls their jackets on cold dates. He ran a protective thumb across those tan knuckles and hummed. “I guess I’m not getting that back, then?” 

Eiji smiled too, thankful that Ash’s tone was once again laced with teasing. He moved his thumb right back. “Well you ruined mine.”

Bold. 

Surprised, and a bit embarrassed, Ash chuckled away his creeping blush. He dropped his gaze onto their clasped hands and succumbed to all those memories - the ghost of Eiji’s touch reeling back into his mind. Not knowing what to say, he took Eiji’s hand and brought it up to his gently cracked lips.

He held him there for a moment, eyes closed in silent praise, for this was a beautiful thing beneath him. This hand had given Ash something lovely without wanting anything in return. Look at him.

Oh, Eiji.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” Ash whispered into him, quoting one of those sickly romantic movies to further his endearment. But he wasn’t just apologizing for the shirt. 

Stunned, Eiji scraped together a pink conviction. He unraveled his hand but kept it on Ash’s company - cupping that pale jaw, swiping away strands of clinging hair, checking to see if there was a fever beneath the clammy sickness - all while trying to ignore what that nickname did to him. Sweetheart. 

“I should be the one apologizing,” Eiji smiled offhandedly, tracing his finger around the fading red mark. “Look at what I did,” He wasn’t just alluding to the bite. “I’ve made a wreck out of you.”

Ash bent down and kissed that tan forearm. “We’ve made a wreck out of each other, then.” He mumbled.

“You’re right,” Eiji scooted closer. “You’ve corrupted me.”

“Mm.”

“I was such a good and promising foreigner.” He continued, grinning. “Now here I am.”

“Now here you are,” Ash whispered into skin. He proceeded down the inside of Eiji’s arm with featherlight kisses, holding it in place with his free hand. It was strange how intimacy revealed itself in the most innocent of places.

Eiji found himself curious, then. “Ash?”

“Eiji?”

“What’s the English…” His words tripped on self-awareness. Months ago he wouldn’t have even considered asking - wouldn’t have even considered the action itself. But he was bold, now. Comfortable. “For what we did last night?”

Ash’s face grew a shade rosier - lovelier. He gave the crook of Eiji’s elbow a final kiss before pulling away. “You’re really going to make me say it?”

“Yes.”

“I might be sick again.”

“Ash.”

Chuckling, the paler boy began to mindlessly play with Eiji’s limp fingers and intricate joints - distracting himself. His voice had dropped into a low purr, teetering on the expectancy of juvenile awkwardness. 

“Handjob.”

Eiji’s nose wrinkled slightly. It didn’t sound like a sweet thing, which it undeniably was. Instead it sounded dirty and misused. “That's a funny word.” He decided.

Ash’s smile grew as he flashed him a pointed look. “What about a shandy?”

“A what?”

“An old fashioned?”

Eiji was laughing now, disbelief causing his dimples to crease and his freckle to bounce. “Your language is so strange.”

Ash shook his head in agreement. Now, it was his turn to translate. “So what do the Japanese call it, then?” 

Eiji bit his lip, still giggling away the blasphemous prospect of that word. He stayed quiet. 

“Ah, I see.” Ash kidded. “You were far too good to find out?” 

Eiji nudged him with a defiant elbow. “手コキ.” He proved. 

Ash’s eyes glittered - Japanese was a truly beautiful language. There was something so sensual about every little sound, so rightfully beautiful and unchanging. If Eiji were to never speak English again, there would be no reason to complain. 

On an unrelated note, “When does Ibe get back?”

****

“You remind me of a cat, you know.”

Ash didn’t open his eyes from their relaxed expression, just gave a small smile in response to the endearment. Eiji smiled back and continued forwards.

The rain had finally eased up by the time the two bundled out of the house, sauntering their way towards Chinatown. Shorter was working again today, Ash had said, and the two decided to pay their friend a visit and hopefully score a free meal. Besides, Ibe was expected back that afternoon, and who knows when he’d let Eiji go out again?

So here they were, weaving their way against the damp asphalt and side-stepping to avoid puddles. At some point the sun had cut through the dissipating clouds, easing Ash to bend his head back and soak up the warm rays as they walked. 

He seemed to be doing better. Eiji was glad.

And of course there was a lingering intimacy, heightened by the thick summer humidity. They assumed that if they shared one last fruitful kiss in Eiji’s doorway, then they would be satisfied for the rest of the day. But that plan backfired in the best possible way. 

Because Eiji could still feel the wall pressed flush against his back. Could still taste Ash’s minty tongue slipping alongside his own. Could still see that desperate expression on the taller boy’s face when he pulled away in prevention.

He drew in a curious puff of air. If absence truly made the heart grow fonder, then what would their reunion look like? 

The idea put a hopeful stride in his step. 

“Welcome! Sit anywhere.” A peppy voice called from the back of the lightly crowded restaurant. Only when that fluff of purple hair turned back around did the formality drop. “Oh, it’s you.”

“Got a table for us, prick?” Ash jokingly mumbled. Eiji popped in from over his shoulder, shutting the dinging door with a politeness he still hadn’t managed to get rid of. 

Shorter dried his hands on his apron with a smirk. “Yeah,” He drew closer. “But check this out.”

He pointed to the far left booth, the one that was nestled besides the kitchen door in quiet privacy, where two bodies sat across from one another. One familiar, the other strange. 

“Is that his tutor?” Ash asked, eyeing the particularly paper littered table. He couldn’t see the other one’s face, but the two seemed to be enlightened by their conversation. “They don’t look like they’re studying.”

“That’s because they haven’t been.” Shorter quipped. “Sonovabitch is gonna fail biology if they keep this up.”

Ash made an amused sound before starting forwards in interest. Eiji and Shorter followed suit, a few paces behind. 

“Hey, half-pint.” Ash started. He leaned against the booth with a pointed stare - his face a little too stoney for politeness, but not enough for blatant distrust. “Who’s this?”

“Oh, Ash!” Sing greeted, fighting off his initial surprise. He shot a smile across from the table. “This is Yut-Lung.” 

An obviously pretty boy blinked back up at the arriving crowd, lashes dark and fluttering. His loose sweater was rolled up against his delicate wrists, adding to the underlying femininity his long hair implied. His face grew placid. 

“Hello.” He spoke with airy conviction. He extended his hand. “Lee Yut-Lung.”

Ash took it. “Ash Lynx.”

Those dark eyes sparkled for a moment. “Lynx?”

Everyone turned an expectant brow towards their new acquaintance. By now, Shorter had begrudgingly trailed away to go take orders, and Eiji stood besides Ash’s rigid posture. A tension appeared at the allusiveness of Yut-Lung’s tone. 

“Yes.” Ash confirmed, though he looked slightly hesitant to do so. “Heard about me?”

Yut-Lung nodded and glanced away. He looked like he wanted to say something, but instead he settled for a small smile. 

“Good or bad?” Ash pressed, not taking the silence for a reasonable answer. Eiji, a concerned witness, discreetly touched the taller boy’s back in a comforting graze. Ash’s shoulders dropped at the touch.

“Good.” Yut-Lung decided - observant. His voice had gone a bit quieter. “Arthur deserved it.”

There was a collective breath of relief emitted from the group as Sing slumped back against his seat. Ash was now the quiet one as the conversation naturally fizzled out, his eyes conveniently glancing away. Eiji stepped forwards to fill in the silence.

“I’m Eiji Okumura.” He introduced. The two shook hands. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.” He raised a slight brow. “I haven’t seen you before.”

“He’s new.” Ash interjected with a mumble. He nudged Eiji forwards. “C’mon, let's find a table.”

“See you guys!” Sing called, slightly whiplashed from the entire interaction. Eiji managed a polite wave before he was scooted away.

“Get back to studying.” Ash instructed from over his shoulder. He caught Yut-Lung’s eyes for a quick second, but turned before he could see the smile on the younger boy’s face.

Perhaps reputations truly did precede them.

By the time Shorter made his way back to the table with a reluctant stride, Ash and Eiji were seated comfortably besides one another, chatting quietly amongst themselves. Between the choice of seating and the hidden hands that clasped beneath the table, it didn’t take a genius to pick apart their obviousness. 

And Shorter was no genius. 

“Nice shirt.” He noted, eyeing that familiar dark cotton that lay loose Eiji’s frame. His smile grew smug as Ash shifted. 

“Piss off, Shorter.” He warned.

“I was just giving Eiji a compliment.” Shorter knowingly mocked. His observing eyes squinted before widening in surprise - he had noticed something new. “Need a cool spoon, Ash?”

Blonde lashes fluttered closed in frustration. Laughter left the purple-haired boy as he inspected the mark more intently.

“Jesus, Eiji.” He whistled. “Didn’t know you had it in you.”

Eiji, who surprisingly hadn’t coughed up a lung yet, watched this all from a growing smile. Because despite the relentless teasing, he was unable to feel any type of shame for what was done. How could he?

“Me neither.” He confirmed. Ash gave him a soft look in response. 

Shorter grinned.

“Eiji Okumura has tamed the Lynx.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> little bit of smaller chapter, but i had a lot of fun writing it. there was a lot that needed to be addressed:)
> 
> anyway, since i have pushed two chapters out this week (go me) expect the next update to be for my new banana fish work. im really excited for that one ahhh i think you guys will like it.  
> also yay yut-lung! i had so much fun writing him oh my god - i cant wait to include him in things. 
> 
> so that's all for me, thank you guys so much for all your kudos/comments!  
> stay safe and stay loved<3
> 
> p.s the new work is based off of the song 'Brooklyn Baby', so i'll let y'all guess what that's going to be about;)


	12. Slow like Honey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " I'll invade your demeanor  
> And you'll yield to me,  
> Slow like honey, heavy with mood "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! apologize for the late update<3
> 
> hope you guys enjoy, i really love this one

Above all else, Eiji trusts Ash. 

He trusts him when he says to come over later, squeezing hands underneath the table knowingly. Trusts him when he quietly pulls them up onto his fire escape, a cigarette already lit between his teeth. Trusts him enough to risk healthy lungs and kiss smoke into his open mouth, and trusts him to know where that will lead.

He trusts him with a lot of things. 

He just assumed Ash was trustworthy enough to make sure parents were asleep first. 

“Ash?”

Two bodies froze from their laced positions on the white cotton bed, hitching their breath at the parental voice on the other side of the wooden door. 

This was bound to happen eventually, considering how often they indulge in bad habitary. And yet despite expectancy, Eiji’s eyes became doe-like as he whispered to the boy above him. 

“Did you lock your door?” 

Blonde strands tickled his face as Ash shook his head no, a horrified expression daunting the plump-lipped teenagers at the thought of being caught by a barking Max. Eiji tightened his grip around that bended neck. 

Another call. “Ash? You alright?”

“Yes!” Ash finally answered, voice slightly cracked with an underlying fear. He watched with flickering eyes as Eiji’s interrupted intimacy cracked into a lopsided smile. 

Because here they were, sprawled against each other in the late hours of the night, barely managing to escape the presence of loitering adults - who thankfully always knocked first. The irony of an unlocked door, on top of everything else, caused a bubble of hilarity to breach across Eiji’s face. His lips were still pink with kisses as his smile turned mischievous, and he reached forwards with - quite frankly - mean intentions.

Much to Ash’s apprehension. 

“Everything okay?” Max asked, his presence looming over the entwined boys like God himself. A prayer was said between them as Eiji’s mouth grazed the soft spot of Ash’s upturned throat. 

“I’m fine!” Ash called, voice tripping slightly as it rumbled beneath maneuvering lips. He looked back down, whispering Eiji’s name in warning. 

Honey eyes sparkled back up. 

“Go to bed, alright?” That booming voice instructed, still clueless to the fact that his might-as-well-be son was straddling the new next door neighbor. “It’s late.” He reminded.

“I will,” Ash swallowed - Eiji had resumed his kisses to the other side. “Soon.”

“Okay,” Max sighed. “You still free to watch Micheal tomorrow?” 

Teeth took an earlobe. “Yes.”

“Thanks, kid.”

A tongue childishly slid across skin. “Uh-huh.” 

“Alright, night.” Max called. 

“Night.” Ash scraped.

A collective breath was held as footsteps receded down the hall, seemingly satisfied in that convincing goodbye. Only when a distant door clicked shut did Ash tilt his head away and collide into Eiji’s own, exhaling out relief and pent up annoyance through clashing mouths. 

“Are you five?” He scolded through frustrated kisses. Eiji giggled beneath him. 

“Are you dense?” He replied with the upper-hand. “He could’ve walked in.”

Ash grumbled in remembrance of their unlocked predicament. “I don’t even want to think about that.” He said, pushing himself off the bed to secure seclusion.

“Should be more careful, then.” Eiji unhelpfully noted, pulling his upper-body forwards to recline on bended elbows. He watched as Ash made a show of turning that horizontal notch of privacy. His profile was soft in the lamplight. 

“How would Max even react to that?” The laying boy continued - he still didn’t know too much about that gruff might-as-well-be-dad. Ash shrugged and crawled back in, creaking his twin-sized mattress while doing so. He took the noise into consideration. 

“He’d be convinced that it was all my influence,” Ash figured, looking down at the dilated boy beneath him. Those big eyes were nearly black. “And that I’ve taken your innocence.”

“Haven’t you?” Eiji smiled, his dimples catching Ash’s hovering shadow. 

“No, you took mine.” He mumbled, nudging Eiji back down onto the pillow with a jutting chin. “Technically.”

Eiji hummed at the other boy’s suggestiveness, growing pink at the intimate memory of rainy night’s past. He brought his idle hands forwards and fiddled with the collar of Ash’s shirt, distracting himself and anchoring his thoughts. The devil’s playthings. 

“Ibe’s still out for your blood, you know.” Eiji added, tone slightly strained as lips trailed down his face. The banter was a vain attempt to reroute his blood flow. 

“M-hm.” Ash’s nose buried beneath the hollow dip of Eiji’s jaw. His voice was growling, but not intimidating. It never was. “I’m out for yours.” He teased. 

“Ah,” Eiji noted, trying to cover up that growing ache with a playful mock. His chest blazed like a stoked flame as hips flushed against hips. “So who’s the innocent one, here?”

“Still you.” 

It was the way in which he said it, like he hoped to change the fact. Eiji closed his eyes and gathered composure. 

He was now proved to be a flustering hypocrite - one who could dish all those flirting sins out but was unable to take them. Eiji knew the sounds Ash made when he was beneath him, and the possibility that he would be indulging in those noises as well made his stomach ache in anticipation. It seemed he had become the new kid on the block once again, pure and stammering for the correct words. 

“Oh.” Was all he lamely managed. Lips quirked against him and Ash looked up. 

It was strange how easily demeanors changed depending on where kisses were placed or where eyes traveled too. Eiji couldn’t see the expression that cradled that pale face, but he could feel it like a summer sun’s ray - kissing warm admiration onto every tan curve. 

Eiji used to pretend not to notice this look. He used to pretend it was just his imagination making those green eyes soft, or his own twitterpated smile making Ash’s seem hazy. He had spent countless nights wondering if there was a mutual affection reflecting between each other's gazes, or if there was a possibility of reciprocation. 

And, of course, there always had been. He was well aware of that now. 

“Eiji.”

Black lashes fluttered open. Blonde lashes blinked back.

He used to run from this look. Hide from it. It used to make his face hotter than the midday asphalt and tint his ears in a color brighter than red hightops. But ever since Eiji saw those green eyes shudder with relief, he figured that he could at least face that expression without crumpling. 

Ash smiled.

Eiji was proven wrong.

“What is it?” That blonde boy whispered. His tone matched the gentleness of his gaze. 

Eiji didn’t know what to say. His hands still gripped that low-cut collar, and his fists rocked as Ash leaned forwards in interest. Perhaps he was his plaything. 

“Eiji?” A concern tripped its way into his words and faltered his smile. He searched for an answer with flickering eyes. “What’s wrong?”

Eiji moved his hands up and cupped that hovering face. He gave a weak and reassuring smile. “Nothing.”

Blonde brows knitted. “Then what are you thinking about?”

That straddled boy exhaled through his nose. He had always been able to read Ash like one of his beloved open-books, but it seemed he had forgotten that Ash could do the same to him. How could he have explained that he was nervous? That he was teetering between excitement and anxiety at the thought of being touched that way? 

But of course Ash would understand. So Eiji opened his mouth and asked.

“Could I just hold you?” He quivered. “Just for a second? Before we...”

Ash immediately lowered into those open arms. Of course he could. Of course. 

The two embraced under the soft light of the bed-lamp, molding warm bodies against one another and nuzzling heads into hair. There was still an innocence yet to be tainted, but there was also a lifetime ahead of them. They were still just kids. This was still just the summer. 

A gentle sin, if anything, could wait. 

****

Seconds had melted into long minutes. Long minutes bordered an hour. 

Eiji, quite literally feeling the weight of the world on his chest, played with those tangles of blonde in an occupying and intimate action. In response, Ash’s breathing became peaceful and compliant. Purring, Eiji realized. He was purring. 

That petting touch traveled down.

Now, one hand ran across Ash’s clothed spine while the other wrapped across his waist. Mindlessly, he started to write random words across the blonde’s back in his native language, mumbling the meaning after each phrase. 

Eiji finished another specific character. “That’s hello.” He whispered.

Ash’s voice was muffled and meek. “And goodbye?” 

Eiji smiled. He drew a playful circle. “Not telling you.”

Ash shifted his head to the side with a grumble, resting against Eiji’s shoulder in the process. His eyes remained closed as he sighed. “What’s your name, then?” He asked.

To answer, a dancing finger ran smooth across that cotton shirt, delicately tracing out lines and crosses the American boy didn’t understand. Eiji lifted his hand in emphasis when finished. 

Ash seemed impressed. “All that for Eiji?” He whispered.

There was a chuckle and a confirmative nod. “Japanese has always been complicated,” He drowsily explained. “Each line means something different.” 

“So what does it mean?” 

Eiji hummed. “It can mean a lot of things, depending on the kanji.” Another careless swoop. “This is what makes mine different.” He thought for the right word. “Eternity.”

Ash was quiet. Eiji tilted his head to look at him, bringing a hand back up to graze those golden strands off his face. The two breathed together for a passing moment, unfiltered and raw and comfortable.

Perhaps that’s why he felt the need to ask. “Is Ash your real name?” 

Blonde lashes fluttered open in an immediate response, revealing an expression that was strangely vulnerable. Eiji knitted his brows at the sight and fondled out another worry with his fingers. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked. Green eyes glanced away to answer.

Finding no solace in the silence, Eiji maneuvered his body until the two lay facing one another. They remained entwined as legs hooked and arms tightened, opening up a more intimate space between them.

“I haven’t said it in a while.” Ash explained through a whisper. He sounded unsure - meek. 

To settle those unsaid grievances, Eiji reached forwards and pressed his lips against Ash’s temple - like he always did. He muttered into wisps of gold to reassure affection. “You don’t have to tell me,” He said, not truly knowing how much his words meant to the nicknamed boy. “You’ll always be Ash to me.”

When Eiji looked back down, he found Ash's eyes to be glittery with emotion. Due to their close proximity, their breath mingled into one collective exhale, and Eiji was sure that in any other position he wouldn’t have been able to hear Ash’s whispered answer. 

“Aslan.” He said.

Hugs grew tighter. 

Repeating the name only once for clarification, Eiji was left wondering if it was just his poor pronunciation making those vowels and consonants sour. It felt misused in his mouth, as if it had been buried in Cape Cod. So the shortstop has a name, he thought. He ran it over in his mind once more.

“Dawn,” Eiji realized, recognizing the Hebrew prayer. He rubbed Ash’s back in atonement. “Your name means dawn.”

How many times has Eiji described this boy as the sun? How many times has he woken up with him in the morning and wished to stay that way forever? And here they were all along. 

Eternal sunrise. 

Ash watched with sudden desolation as Eiji detangled their limbs. His pale hand reached forwards to pull him back, but was promptly squeezed in reassurance instead. 

“Where are you going?” Ash asked - unable to care that he sounded like a desperate child. 

“I want to show you something.” Eiji whispered, stepping off the bed. Ash pulled himself up in compliance and sat on his side, watching with a growing curiosity as that beloved boy stood before him. The lamplight painted his silhouette with a lovely glow. 

Tan hands reached for the button of his jeans. Green eyes grew wide. 

“Remember the scar I told you about? On my hip?” Eiji elaborated, acutely aware of how this all must look. He chuckled away that initial reaction and lowered his denim. “I wanted you to see it.”

Now filled with understanding, Ash pulled his drowsy body across the mass of cotton sheets and draped his legs off the edge. His eyes were sparkling with interest as Eiji revealed the dark pattern of his boxers. 

He couldn’t help it. “Need help?” 

“Don’t,” Eiji airily smiled, once again trying to joke his way out of nervousness. Ash's own smirk grew wider in response, flipping the standing boy’s stomach. He focused his attention back down. “Pervert.”

“M-hm.”

Eiji’s thumb hooked against the elastic waistband and he adjusted the fabric down. He let it sit at the lowest point it could without completely exposing himself - much to Ash’s smirking disapproval - and straightened. 

He revealed a v-line muscle and two prominent hip bones, one of which was tainted with light pink skin. It was as if someone had dipped a thin brush in primrose paint and swiped it across his tan body. 

A masterpiece worthy of the Louvre. 

The scar itself wrapped around Eiji’s hip and ended just beneath his navel, adding to the atmosphere’s twisted form of unsaid sensuality. He had become impossibly pink himself by the time Ash shuffled closer. 

Green eyes promised to leave third-degree burns of their own. 

“The pole slipped from under me,” Eiji muttered, trying to explain his reasoning for an undone zipper. Scar for a scar, he justified. Past for past. “I missed the mat…” 

His voice trailed away as Ash’s fingers trailed his skin. It was a delicate touch, barely skimming the faded line of the past, but it knocked Eiji backwards and breathless. He couldn’t help but look away as a pale hand maneuvered downwards, following the scar that decorated his firm stomach. 

It was an odd sensation, being touched in a place no one else had been. 

Ash wrapped his legs around Eiji’s own to draw him closer, squeezing his thighs in security. The sound of rustling denim was stark against the sounds of their wandering hands, for it seemed they had become blind again. Ash was seeing without his eyes. 

Due to this, Eiji’s sigh was nearly deafening as warm lips tickled his abdomen. Ash kissed the raised scar of conversation with an open mouth, feeling the bump of skin with a peeking and worshipping tongue. Eiji thought he had gotten used to his mouth, but this was new. This was still all so new. 

The panting boy couldn’t help but wonder if this touch would end up marking him as well. Would these kisses leave bruises in their wake? Would he end up carrying this summer with him forever in the form of a scar? God knows his heart already was marked. 

But when lips paused against the dark waistband of decency, Ash silently asked a question that provoked their hearts to stutter. Eiji ran his fingers through wisps of golden hair to confirm an answer - he didn’t trust his voice at all. 

Teeth took the fabric and pulled. 

He nearly died right there. 

To ground himself from that lowering kiss, Eiji bent his head forwards and closed his eyes. They felt each other's bodies rock against one another in a rhythm not needing a metronome - as if their souls already knew this song. As if they had been waiting to perform it their whole lives. Pas de deux; a dance for two. 

All they needed was a stage, and it seemed Ash’s open mouth was the overture. 

Eiji had made a sound he didn’t recognize. Felt a clench in his gut he only felt when flying. His mind became stuck on that smoky night as he doubled over, nearly melting into the boy still sitting on the bed. He was blind. 

There was an anticipated build, similar to the one he experienced on the swingset, growing against his buzzing nerves. That night had been the first time he ever made it over that bar. This would also be a first. 

When swinging, he had climbed higher and higher - in, out - until he threatened to topple over. He remembered the look Ash had given him back then, the one he so often turned away from in order to prevent a reddening face. How red his face must be now, he wondered. He looked down. 

He wasn’t running anymore. 

In, out. 

Fists bunched against Ash’s shirt in warning, similar to how he gripped those parallel chains before he peaked. Ash didn’t pull away. He didn’t care. 

In, out. 

That night, before Eiji flew, he had asked for advice in regards to the final swing. Now, the breathless boy used Ash’s words against him - repeating instructions with a rasp. 

“Keep your eyes open.” 

Green eyes looked up in godless obedience. Dark eyes fluttered back down.

Because above all else, Eiji trusts Ash with his body. 

And Ash swore he tasted honey. 

****

The night breeze was cool against them, drifting in from the open window besides the occupied bed. The lamp had been clicked off, igniting the room with only an orange dot of second-hand embers. Neither of them felt like going out to the balcony to smoke, so the nearby window was pushed open instead. 

Earlier, when Eiji was well-spent and scraping his breath together, the first words he had managed had been huffed against a chuckle. 

“I need a cigarette.”

Ash barked out a laugh in response and wiped his swollen lips. He didn’t care that Eiji hadn’t been quiet or that his laugh had been loud, just as long as they were smiling after. Because that aspect of intimacy was still unknown to Ash, and he savored it like the sweet taste of Eiji on his tongue. 

Now, Eiji rested with his head on Ash’s shoulder and watched him drag. The paler boy’s puffs were becoming slower as they trailed away from his sleepy mouth, and the smoke caught the moonlight with a ghostly blue shadow. 

“Don’t go to sleep.” Eiji mumbled. He hooked his legs against Ash’s longer ones and clung. “Not yet.”

Ash nodded. He didn’t want this night to end, either. 

A tan hand poised itself forwards to ask for a hit, but Ash brought it down for him instead. Droopy lips pressed against the pads of two pale fingers as Eiji inhaled.

“Did it hurt?” Ash asked through a whisper. “When you got your scar?”

Eiji shook his head no and breathed onto Ash’s touch. “Just a lot of blood.” He elucidated.

“Morbid.”

A chuckle rid Eiji’s lungs of the last remaining smoke. “It scared my mother half to death, though.” He remembered fondly. “She nearly banned me from trying-out the following year.”

Ash grew curious as he shuffled the cigarette against his own lips. “What’s she like?” He exhaled. 

“You’d like her, I think.” Eiji began playing with the limp joints of that pale free hand. “I get a lot of things from her, apparently.

“But she’s worse than Ibe.” He continued, smiling. “Everytime I mention you, she interrogates me to death. ‘What kind of good boy has a name like Ash?’, she says.”

Ash looked down. “You mention me?”

“Of course I mention you.” He looked up. “You’re my best American boy, aren’t you?”

Ash hummed thoughtfully. Happily. He liked that. 

“She wouldn’t approve of me.” He decided quietly.

“No,” Eiji kissed his fingers. “But I do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh get it cus its the title
> 
> thank you all for reading! this chapter was really hard for me to write, but i hope it pulled through:)   
> im trying to be as vague as i can when it comes to intimate scenes, but as the two characters get more comfortable with one another it'll start getting a little bit more descriptive. i also just love repetition if you can't tell.  
> choosing to give eiji a scar on his hip was supposed to show that he allowed something dangerous to permanently impact him - so ash parallels. im not sure how well that theme is coming across so i just wanted to clarify ahah
> 
> anyway, im currently balancing two fics AND schoolwork, so im not sure how consistent updates will be. if i miss a day dont worry! we're in the final stretch now, and im so exicted to write the ending:) i think you guys will like it  
> lmk what you guys think!
> 
> stay safe and stay loved<3


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